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Show Emotional abuse leaves marks too By D. KIM OPENSHAW, Ph.D. College of Family Life Utah State University Emotional abuse is frequently referred re-ferred to as the "unseen abuse. Unseen, however, only in the sense that you can't see the bruises, cuts, etc. Regardless of whether or not such indicators can be visibly seen by the naked eye, such abuse can damage or destroy a child's emotional emo-tional and mental health. Emotional abuse is present when a child is made to feel worthless, unappreciated unap-preciated or unwanted through such behaviors as conditional love and belittling. Emotional abuse cuts deeply into the basic psychological structure of the child, resulting in a perception of self which interferes with daily living. For example, a child who is made to feel stupid will not excel in school or career. A child who feels unlovable will have difficulties in social relationships. Emotional abuse is perhaps more devastating in its consequences because there is little if any way for children to defend themselves against this form of abuse. If a child is physically abused, the visible signs of the abuse can be recognized recog-nized and, hopefully, reported. On the other hand, emotional abuse is difficult to identify and treat, thereby leaving the child with numerous nu-merous insecurities and self-doubts. Emotional neglect occurs when the parent or adult caregiver chooses to ignore the child or purposely pur-posely withhold love, affection and nurturance. Such neglect robs the child of the necessary love, nurturance nur-turance and guidance fundamental to becoming a healthy adult. Regardless of the type of abuse or neglect, it is common for this to have severe consequences which begin showing up in adolescence. As an abused child matures toward adolescence, various behaviors (e.g., vandalism, promiscuity, substance use and abuse, etc.) become more prevalent and, unfortunately, unfor-tunately, cover up the true cause of these symptoms. These adolescents tend to grow up to be hurt and hostile adult members of society. The depth of the hurt will have a direct impact on the types of relationships the individual in-dividual will foster. The degree of hostility will be associated with the amount of manifested violence. The Life Skills Education Incorporation Incor-poration provides the following as possible indicators that an adolescent ado-lescent may be abused: Verbal andor physical aggression aggres-sion The adolescent intentionally sets up situations with others to bring br-ing about some form of confrontation confronta-tion Withdrawal into their own world The adolescents response to touch is exaggerated, with that exaggeration ex-aggeration based on fear or aggressiveness ag-gressiveness Requests are made by the adolescent ado-lescent that his siblings be protected Regardless of how abuse or neglect ne-glect manifests itself in a family, it does not have a singular effect on only the abused or neglected individual. in-dividual. All in the family become victims and through the subtle manner in which families operate, a secret is created. This secret is, however, a Pandoras Box, the contents con-tents of which are pain, turmoil, fear, anxiety, depression, etc. Once sealed, diligent effort must be expanded to keep it sealed, taking away from physical, emotional emo-tional and psychological reserves necessary to cope effectively with daily living. Once opened, an intense in-tense flow of emotion is released which will need intervention and direction or become destructive in its own way. |