| Show Walter WincheD Winchell i Have you heard the one about Count Ciano describing his Berlin Berlin Berun Ber Ber- lin un visit to his law in Mus Mussolini s Hitler gave me a wonderful wonder ful dinner Ciano a n o re re- lat d. d Everything Everything Ev S was solid gold the plates the knives forks spoons all all S solid 0 Ii d gold nice comm commented com com- m e n t e d II il duce holding S Sout out his handL handL hand L ra e t me Winchell see A French underground paper recently related this grand fable fable fable fa fa- fa- fa ble The bishop of Bordeaux handed 50 francs to his secretary secretary secretary secre secre- tary to give to a poor woman who requested alms The secretary secretary secretary secre secre- tary protested Monseigneur ur Is' Is perhaps unaware of the fact that the woman is a Jewess A Jewess ex exclaimed the bish- bish op Goodness me that's altogether altogether alto alto- gether different Give her francs and thank her for her confidence in Christian charity Dentists claim redheads cause more disturbance In their of offices offices of- of flees than any other type According to the Texas department department department depart depart- ment of public safety motorists should drive in their stocking I feet instead of shoes for safer driving American pilots i who ferry planes to Britain have havea a neat gag for getting a second date with English girls The first time out they give the girl one American silk stocking and promise her the other one next time Nearly 12 million million mil mu- lion dollars worth of carbon paper paper paper pa pa- per is produced in the U. U S. S an an- Judging from the number number number num num- ber of carbon copies we can behove believe believe be be- lieve hove it If you you want to get the maximum maximum maxi max mum taste from food remember remember ber her these tips Bitter things taste most strongly on the rear of the tongue sweet things things' on the tip sour things on the sides and salty things on both the tip and sides Gosh is this m me or Alexander W Pearl Bucks Buck's middle name is of all things Bad tempers are now blamed on a aS S shortage of vitamin B l in the diet Is it true that an average of five murders and divorces are the annual result of bridge table arguments in this country country country coun coun- try The Hays office rationed rationed rationed ra ra- ra- ra the number of kisses Cary Gary Grant could give Priscilla Lane in one scene in Arsenic and Old Lace They restricted Cary Gary and Priscilla to six kisses as the limit in one reel I Have you heard this t story about Coventry and how some laughter saved Its people from despair after the nazis devastated devastated devastated devas devas- it for three days and as many nights t The Th people of Coventry were ripe for any rab rab- rouser ble-rouser or government over- over thrower They had buried their dead they had gone without without without with with- out milk for their children children- without food and without shel shel- ter To them life seemed at an end A few days after the bombings someone dug up upa a movie e from Hollywood It was shown to the people from Coventry a arid and d other near-by near towns day and night for a week 24 hours a day It wasso wasso was wasso so funny it made them laugh for 90 minutes or minutes or at least took their minds from their personal misery The star was Bob Hope The picture was Caught in the Draft And that is why says a a government spokesman we dont don't want Hope or people like him him in in such times times to to serve behind a machine gun or bayo- bayo net They do more good behind a movie microphone or in front of a camera amera Clark Gable we think is one of the peoples people's daily habits and we dont don't want to rob the people of their steady habits all at once That's theone the theone theone one thing we have copied from G Goebbels' Goebbels propaganda ministry Hypocrites weep a and n d y you u cannot tell their tears tears tears' from those of saints but no bad man ever laughed sweetly yet according according according ac ac- ac- ac l cording to Ouida |
