| Show Elsa so Maxwells Maxwell's I Daily Particles of Patter Do you like music better than cheese Or do you prefer cheese t. t to music Whichever way you answer you will find that they soon will willbe willbe be one and the same thing You'll sit sitt at t a table with your pie piece e of deep dish a apple p pie and it pie pie l you'll sa say y S. S B Bring ri n g on tl the m music u sic J James mes A special record record record rec- rec ord playing Elsa Maxwell machine willbe will willbe willbe be turned on and before you know it your favorite cheese from Camembert to Rat will vill willbe willbe be made nade from the music music and and in front of your very eyes You cant can't of course get milk without a cow cow cow-at at least as yet But you can get lots of cheese sometimes at Carnegie hall hall on on onan an n off night Incidentally there are are plenty of cows to be found there which dont don't come from Bordens But the point Im I'm getting around to is that theres there's a dairy in Arden New York which actually actually actually ac ac- ac- ac makes milk milk milk-as as well as cheese cheese- simply by playing mu mu- sic The kind of music they play ply is called Supersonic for for it is a very extraordinary music music music mu mu- sic in in- that only the milk hears It not you Heard melodies are sweet as Mr Keats once put it but those unheard are sweeter still therefore s soft 0 f t pipes I play on I But I think if Mr Keats Heats could f have known about SupersonIcs Ics ies his epitaph the one in inscribed inscribed inscribed in- in scribed on h his Is tomb outside Rome would Rome would have read Here lies one whose name is writ In milk k The theory of this new music- music n milk magic is this When you play or the Fifth on your o ocarina or Ocarina or whatever it is is you play you play you make two kinds of music The one kind is what you hear the other is what you dont don't hear the hear the frequencies In other words which are above the limits of the human ear Now its it's been found that zounds sounds in this upper range are areto areto S to ordinary sounds what X-rays X S are to ordinary light They do queer things things and and I adore queer things That's why SupersonIcs le lea Ics tingle darling things in my overdeveloped imagination rt It has always been a mystery to me ine why all milk not pasteurized pas- pas II is turned sour by a I thunderstorm thunderstorm-if if it is I r saw this happen once on a large farm in the southwest something something something some some- thing like gallons of milk turned to whey on Amon Carters Carter's Carters Carter's Carters Carter's Car Car- ter's place near Fort Worth Texas when Texas when thunder and lightning lightning light light- ning fling blitzed this bovine wine Afterwards even Amon couldn't dispose of this wayward whey The strangest fact of all all at at least to me me-is me is that the vibrator which plays such lilting soundless soundless soundless sound sound- less love lyrics to the milk was first developed as a submarine submarine rine rifle signal Before Supersonics ics became enamoured of milk they would bounce off the keel of a ship and be echoed back from the bottom bottom or or from some near-by near submarine By timing the echo navigators could tell exactly how far the ship was from other solid objects From submarines to cheese seems a far cry But that's t the k kind nd of ofa a world were living In In a a streamlined pressure high ure high-frequency high chaos in which anything can happen and generally does Take Benny Goodman I r say and Guy Lombardo Artie Shaw and Glenn Miller out of their night clubs Send them up to the farm and make em play Night and Day at milkIng milking milking milk milk- ing time and theres there's no telling what well we'll get We might I get so much Limburger that we could repel any enemy attack with smells instead of shells except except except ex ex- ex- ex in this case the enemy is isso isso isso so well with the former former former for for- mer well we'll have to find something something something some some- thing m in more o 0 r e effective than an olfactory barrage 4 |
