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Show ... I I A Line o' Type or Two j "Fav ce que vouldras." ! f ! By E. L. T. On the Strand. "If you should suiy on strike, old top, An'.cher hn.lt a j-ur, Do you suppose. " tiio Walrus asked, just to make conversation, "that you would yet the d.ilkir an hour that you re holding out lor?" "I doubt it," said the Carpenter, And shed another tear. Even the blase XiKht Desk reacts to a piece of real news; and so when the Associated f 'ress carried the intelligence that .Mrs. S'iis.n d:d not accompany the president to the platform, a thrill ran throush the copyreaders, and it was sue fe'esLed that t lie headline be built on the amazincr omission. liut before it could be written, the A. P. came along with the following: "Editors: In lead "Wilson, about 175 words down, sent at 8:45 p. in., read '.Mrs. AVikson SAT on the platform, etc." "Ho! hum:" sighed the Night Dt-sk, and the evening routine proceeded. Nihil Sub Sole.Novl. Sir: The following quotation will show that the Adamson bill and tho actors' strike are both new themes of an old setting. Dio Cassius LV1, 47: "A great performance was prepared in honor of the death of the Emperor Augustus, one of the act'vs refused to appear for the stipulated pay, the people were in an uu-roar, uu-roar, the officials immediately called a meeting of the senate and a bill was introduced in-troduced permitting a higher pay than the legal rate, the passage of which brought immediate harmony." J. A. S. Tennis, as the recent champ games showed, has become faster; and although we have not seen a baseball game for a long time, we Judge that baseball, too, has speeded up, for we see by the world's greatest that Mr. Cobb scored from second sec-ond on a double by Flagstead. Old Jim Cro-w Sir: Railway station in a small Oklahoma Okla-homa town. Me (just making conversation): conversa-tion): "I notice the Jim Crow law is enforced down here." Native (confidentially): (confiden-tially): "Oh, yes, but you can get it most anywhere if you know the ropes." H. L. D. Speaking of crow. Mr. Carrion is secretary sec-retary of the national railways of Mexico. Mex-ico. Scots Wha' Ha'. Sir: This clippin' has been the subject of much discussion between ma friend Sandy and masel': "Prohibition came into force In America Amer-ica on July 1, and up to the time of going go-ing to press no news has been received from Scotsmen there. Much anxiety prevails." pre-vails." We hae decided that you, being a braw newspaper mannie and a kindly disposed birkie, would send the word across the water tae the auld folks at home, ta tell them not to worry, tae remember re-member that the Scots hae always been dour fechters and that we Scots in this Great Sahara would fecht tae the last collarette aye, tae the last shot in the basement. JOHNNIE DEWAR. Although we are as humane as the next one. we believe a law should be passed imposing capital punishment on any person caught stealing another man's whisky. There, Little Girl, Don't Cry! I've tried in vain to make the Line, For years and years and years; And if with this I can't get in I'll just dissolve in tears. Among the first salesmen to call when It leaked out that I was going to get a new car wtia Mr. Fender. E. A. I. The Wood Thrush. All mornings and all eves. Well hidden In green leaves, The melody he weaves Is ever so entrancing It sets the heart a-dancing And bids the spirit's wings Flv up to mountain springs Beyond a world that sighs and grieves. And yet the common cares Of humdrum life he shares The while he boldly dares The midday haunts of duty, forgetting songs of beauty, To feed his little flock, Which done, he doth unlock Again his most melodious airs. Ah. tf this life of mine Were like, O bird, to thine, My cup were filled with wine To each occasion suited; Yea, I were spurred and booted The stony roads to ride, And then, at eve, beside Bweet streams to waken strains divine! liATJRA BLACKBURN. Walland, Tenm The automobiles which were sent to Fort Sheridan, with drivers, to give the Invalid soldiers an outing, have gradually faded away. It may be the car owners have forgotten whom to telegraph to. It Is Mrs. Rice, American Red Cross, Fort Sheridan. A Regular Welkin Splitter. (From the Hazelton. Idaho, News.) "Mr. Lane made a big hit in France as an entertainer. He has one of the most wonderful outside voices that Is to be found in the west." A new English book is entitled "The War in a Nutshell." This Is the only shell which we have not heard about. The Plan Succeeded. Sir; As a warning to anti-Nicotian propagandists, why not unitedly attack their use of chicle, which is detrimental to our desks and chairs and trouserloons. to our broad souls, and tends toward a wrigglv gait by the hapless pedestrian. Fifty-fiftv on chewing gum and tobacco would give both sexes .opportunity to continue annoying each other, which doubtless was- Intended from the hegin-nlns. hegin-nlns. ALFRED BULL. ' ' 1 We note that a person nameo jaam Puffer, from somewhere In New England, is going about the country denouncing cigarets. A Well Trained Bean. Sir: A college education certainly trains the mind. I was driving a young lady from the beach to her home, and turned a corner rather sharply. UK- friend, who had on a very wet bathing suit, said: "Please be careful! Ton might skid." Her brain was trained at the U. C. H. E. a. "Pn. Cummins Introduces P!1 Recommending Recom-mending Profit Sharing System for Railroad Rail-road Employees in Senate." Rockford Republic. The game isn't what it used to he. A Score Were Hurt in the Rush. ("From the Albuquerque Journal.) Wanted A man who is afraid of hard work as a steamfltur's helper. Strum-quist. Strum-quist. In an Iowa Photograph Gallery. Sir" A middle aged couple entered. Said I: "Pid ynn want full figure or Just head and shoulders?" He (parlh- rteaH: "Vot?" She (fiideavoring to explain"!; "He vnnts to know if ve should show de whoie ting er only do breast." ARTERIC. Chicken Feed. fFYom tho Colorado Springs Gazette.) Lol Grav cloth pneketbook, $3000 In chance. Gazette. Reward. |