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Show C about. HOLLYWOOD, CALIF. If I were a Republican orator, I'd say the Democrats wouldn't need a keynoter at their convention when a hog-caller hog-caller would be more suitable. If on the other hand, I were a Democratic silver-tongue, I'd saj the Republicans needed no cam paign committee, whereas a set oi pallbearers would be highly appro-priate. appro-priate. As a Republican spellbinder. Id nroclaim we were giving Puerto Rico four years in which gradually to cut loose from us, because, should the Democratic outfit win in November, by the end of those four years the Puerto Ricans will be used to having some independence and we'll be used to having none at all. As a Demo- irvin S. Codd cratic champion, I'd come right back by pointing out that, since Puerto Rico would starve to death anyhow under a Republican Repub-lican administration, congress mercifully mer-cifully was taking steps to let the people down there get accustomed, by degrees, to the starvation process. Meandering Revenue Program. THE members of the senate finance committee poor things ! seem to be going forward with the new revenue program the same way a land crab makes headway by traveling backward. At last accounts ac-counts they were so snarled up in figures and language that any minute min-ute the rescue party was expected to rush in with bush-hooks and chop them loose. However, out of the epileptic seizure into which these unfortunate unfortu-nate patriots have been enmeshed, one concrete fact has emerged. There will be a slight exemption of dues on the profits of corporations making less than $15,000 a year. This will be a great boon for trunk stores down by the depot, brokerage firms handling second-hand railroad tunnels and dealers in butterflies. New Socialist "Argument. THE trouble with being a Socialist Social-ist Is that, no matter what you start to debate, you always wind up on the Tom Mooney case. Or at least, such was the situation until un-til recently. Now, for any Socialistic Socialist-ic argument on any subject from German measles to the Great Wall of China, there is a new climax. The tenants of a Bronx apartment apart-ment house, mostly radicals, held a meeting, and. In accordance with the best radical traditions, drew up resolutions demanding that the management do this and that. Having Hav-ing read the fiery protest, the superintendent super-intendent addressed the 'gathering: "Now aboudt not ledding nobody hang out vashing in the hallways that's reasonable. I start beginning begin-ning that reform right away. "Und as to keeping garbages off the front fire escape veil, vy nodt? "But, say, vot do you suckers ux-pect ux-pect me do aboudt the Scottsboro boys?" Sauce for the Goose. WHEN a bricklayer feels upset and licks his wife that's temper tem-per and he gets $30 or 30 days. But when a flicker star goes on a similar sim-ilar tantrum and wrecks an expensive expen-sive set, that's artistic temperament tempera-ment and the studio gives her some silver fox furs to calm her nerves. Thus It goes. If a couple In, say, Peoria, break up, why, then, a couple in Peoria have broken up. But if the same thing occurs in Hollywood, Hol-lywood, it Invariably Is featured as a "nuptial rift." A lad In Kansas takes his girl to Ye Olde New Era eatery for dinner, and what with the blue plate specials" spe-cials" and the tip, the transaction amounts to $1.80, but otherwise creates no special excitement either locally or throughout the nation. Let the same thing happen to a couple of the least conspicuous of the movie colony, and 20 'olumulsts fight their way to the wire. Choosing a New "Buddha" rpROM the forbidden kingdom of . Tibet although goodness knows they never had any trouble keeping me out comes word that after a two years' search a new "living Buddha" has been discovered. How-ever, How-ever, we already have our own Louis lammer' the name bolnS Joe The news from Lhasa should give encouragement to the poor unhappy unhap-py congressional committeemen who are prominently connected with the foTn?1? lm Wh'U condescend to talk to them. You may quarrel with the Town- senates' bookkeeping with the?r way of handling the contributed d mes of thousands of trusting old sters. w th their failure to expla lu ' they're going to K,t the b , or hoi0 ry thoso SniU,y or how the provisions of the attribution at-tribution are to be enforced bV.t least the leaders are too proV X endanger their social poaltlo", br being cauKht chlt-chntUng w t U a lot of congressmen. IRVIN S. COBB Copyright. WNU S.rvl. |