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Show O: Tenn (D'CfldDcIk " n -77-. - by Da vid Fleisher Pick-a-dump contest could trash Park City's reputation Can you imagine what a tourist, say from California or New York, would think if he read a full-page ad in the Park Record that said: "Help the Summit County Commission pick a better dump site and win $50,000"? The tourist is going to think we've either been up in the mountains , rtoonibrig) oiTrthat, we haw this perverse, obsession with garbage. The ad actually appeared in last week's issue of the Park Record, and in smaller print it says: "You get $40,000 cash.. .the local Summit County school of your choice gets the other $10,000." And if all that wasn't enough, there's even an entry form that states in bold letters: "Where I think the Summit County Dump should be." After giving your name, address, etc., you're instructed to answer the following questions: 1. Where is the site? 2. How big is it? 3. Who owns the property at this time? 4. Is the owner willing to give up the property as a dump site? 5. Why do you think this is a better dump site than Brown's Canyon? Then you're instructed to send all this garbage to the three county commissioners, as well as to an address in Salt Lake. The ad tells us to label die envelope, "Move the Dump." Sam and Sarah from San Diego come to Park City for their first ski vacation ever, check into their condo, pick up the Park Record and see the ad. "Sam, you're not going to believe this." "Believe what," Sam says. "These people are nuts. I think we should have gone to Aspen." "What are you talking about, Sarah? "They've got a contest in the paper to find a place to put your garbage." "Sarah.thealtitude is higher here than in San Diego, ' and I think you should lie down for a while before we go skiing." " ' . ." ! rir1 Sarah responds'," 'I wonder if thej Have contests like this in Aspen?" Sam looks at the ad, and gasps, "My God! They're giving away $50,000!" "Sam, I want to go to Lake Tahoe and ski. This place makes me nervous. I know we've got weirdos in California, but having a contest to find a garbage dump site is frightening." "I've got an idea." Sam says. "You go skiing, and I'll go look for a dump site." "You're as crazy as they are!" Sarah screams. "If Iwin, it'll pay for the vacation," Sam yells, adding, "I don't even like to ski! I wanted to go to the Bahamas, anyway!" Sam and Sarah argue back and forth for a while, then Sarah decides it's time to faint. Before passing out. she whispers in Sam's ear, "I'm telling you, Sam, anybody who has a contest to find a dump site is a lulu. Please take me to Aspen or Lake Tahoe." Sam leaves to find a garbage dump site, Sarah cries, and later they get a divorce all because of garbage. I hope someone finds a suitable garbage dump site soon, so this ad doesn't run again in the paper. Frankly, I think it's a little embarrassing as far as how the outside world perceives us. I can promise you one thing. I'm not going to run around in Summit County with a pair of binoculars and Scream, "Here, dump! Here, dump!" As I walk up Main Street I hear the Ten O'clock Whistle. |