OCR Text |
Show 1 the Fourth, not less than on the third1 or fifth. It Ik far easier to complete a round of pleasure than to make things square afterward." Waahlng-ton Waahlng-ton Star. Condition Precedent. "The religion of Fome people Is loo lenient." said Bishop Heslln In a recent re-cent address In Nantucket. "Some popple suggest to ni In the view of religion, a little girl whos tenhcer Bald to her: " 'Mary, what must we do first before be-fore we can expect forgiveness . for our pins?" "'We must sin first,' the little girl answered." Nashville. Danner. ' Not Long to Wa't. Mildred Since our encasement, Crorge has been perfectly devoted to me. Do you think he will continue, to love me when I am old? Clarice Really, dear, I can't pay but you'll Foon know. Chicago News. We Envy Adam. Whatever trouble Adam had. No man could make him sore By paying, when he told a Jest, "I've beard that Joke before." Success Magazine. His Modest Hop. "They you don't want to leave footprints foot-prints upon the sands of time?" "Nix." answered the politician, guardedly. "All I want Is to covor up my tracks." Washington Herald. Candor. Sunday School Teacher Now, Johnny, why do wo put a penny In the plat today? Johnny "Cause there ain't nuthin' smaller Harper's Bazar, JUST FOR FUN In the Automobile Ward. F. H. Elliott, secretary of the American Am-erican Automobile association, wa. cussing at a dinner in New York tho automoblllst's well known enthu siasm. "A friend of mine," he said, "visited "vis-ited recently the auiomnhlle ward of a lunatic nslnm. They have, you know, antomohllf wards now "It was a largo, airy room, and along the wall were arranged some two dozen cots, but of the inmates not a trace was to be seen. " "But where are the Inmates.?' my friend asked I he physician. " 'The inmates?' was the reply. 'Oh, they're all here. They're under the beds tinkering with the springs.' " Washington Star. When She Wanted to Go. E. D. Whitley, who In local ticket agent for several steamship linos, was at work at his desk the other day when a Swede girl came In the office. She had been In this country only a few months and was tired of It. "Aye vant lay get ticket tay Sweden," Swe-den," she said. "Ay vant tay go tay Gotcnbnrg." "When do you want to go?" asked the polite Mr Whitley. "Aye vant lay go when boat starts," the replied. Denver Times. Fascination of Golf. "I've Vap of Nero a-payin' on 'la fiddle, sir, when 'Ms 'ome was a-burnin," a-burnin," said the landlady, putting down the local paper, "but this 'ere fcnie of golf must be the most fascinating fasc-inating 'obby In tho world. I've been readln' about the fire up at tho jcolf ground last Friday, an' It says, 'Tho the brigades promptly responded to the call, and when darkness closed in they were still playln' upon the ruin ot tho club'ouse.' " Golf Illustrated. Squaring the Circle. Mayor Mahool'of Baltimore, apropos of a Fourth of July expenditure that scorned extravagant. ald one day: "Even to colebrate our glorious Fourth a man should keep within his means. He should remember that on |