| OCR Text |
Show JUST FOR FUN Alarming the Bride. A clergyman, noticing the simple appearance of tho couple he had Just married, derided to gUe thorn a few words of advice. Uo explained to The young man his duties as a husband, and then told the youiw; lady how she should conduct con-duct herself, winding up with the i old injunction that ahe must look to her husband for everything, and, for-raking for-raking father and mother, follow him wherever he went. The bride appeared very much troubled at this, and faltered out: I "Must I follow him to every place I he goos?" "Yes," said the clergyman, you must follow him everywhere until death doth you part." "Gracious," cried the girl. 'Tf I had known that before I would never have married a postman." Spare Moments. Suitable Name. "What's that you call your mule?" "I call him 'Corporation.' " answered answer-ed the old colored man. "How did you come to give him such a name'" "Fum studyln' de animal an' read-In read-In de papahs Dat mule ?ets mo' : blame an" abuse dan anyt'ing else In de township, an' goes ahead havln' his own way Jcs de same." Washington Washing-ton Star. Household Remedies. A little fellow fushed 'breathlessly into a drug tore. ' Please, isir. some liniment and some cement!" "What?'' asked the puzzled clerk. "What's tho trouble?'' "Mam hit pc-p on the head with a plate. Everybody 's Magazine Similar. Composer What do you think of my march? Critic Reminds me of Shoridan's march to the sea Composer How ? Critic Long and tiresome. Exchange Ex-change Getting It Out of the Way. "Did you pepl your apple before eating eat-ing It, Dolly?" "Yes, mother." "But where have you put the peel, dear?" "Oh, I ate it first." London Opinion. Opin-ion. Thrown In His Way. In Brookln a maiden named Dolly Had no seat and stood up In a trolley. When the car, with a Jerk, Got In its fine work. And her seat was the lap cf young Cholly. Judge. The Wintry Pace. Whore once we walked with thoughtless thought-less pride Our footsteps are delayed; When It Is cold you've got to slide, And when it thaws you wade! Washington Star. She Was. "Mrs. Gay has been deserted by two husbands." "The abandoned creature!" Cleve land Leader |
