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Show Haig Coiigratalates The Belgian King LONDON, Sept. 30 Via Montreal. Field Marshal Haig, the British com-1 niander-in-chicf under date of Saturday, Satur-day, sent the following r.oncfatulatory telegram to King Albert of Belgium. "At the closecf the most successful dayfor JJie -allied armies on the western wes-tern "front I beg to offer your majesty and the Belgian army tho heartiest congratulations of myself and all ranks of the magnificent results achieved today to-day under your majesty's supremo command." oo ( . Lateman wanted to buy a clock-that clock-that is, a reliable clock and he made the shopman show him a good many before he decided on one. "Now, sir," said the salesman, "this clock will last you a lifetime." Lateman looked dubious. "Why, how can that be?" he asked. "I can see for myself that Its hours are numbered!" oo A lady visiting the inmates of a workhouso in a town in the south of Ireland was asked to break the news to an old lady of 97 of the death of l her daughter, aged 7S. The old dame took the information quite phllosoph-ically. phllosoph-ically. In reply, shaking her head with an air of resignation, she exclaimed "Ah, well, I always did say I never jH would be able to rear poor Annie." t oo : IH Iris "Mrs. Lothaire will be sorry if she lets her husband run around with M that fascinating widow." Cyrus "Yes; if. a man's wife can't keep him from paying attention to jH another woman, the other woman will soon keep him from paying attention to his wife." oo Prof. Teechum adjusted his spec-tacles spec-tacles that is to say, balanced them on the tip of his nose and, pointing a bony finger at a learned looking youth, asked: jH "Whore is Solomon's temple?" "Sir," answered the youth, "do you jH think I don't know anything?" "Where is it. then?" "Why, on the side of his head, of IH course!" |