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Show I YOUR AUTOMOBILE, ITS EQUIPMENT AND VARIOUS NEEDS I AUTO ACCESSORIES I SPOKEN ABOUT H 'Motor Inconveniences to Be H Removed Suggestions Of- H fered An Importune H Time Individual Top. B "Whllo the topic of conversation seems to be automobile accessories, it fl might not be an inopportune time to H suggest a few little additions to the M equipment of a car, which will prob- M ably never be Invented and so might' M as well be mentioned hero and then M forgotten. 1 There is, for instance, the Individual M top, which is a handy thing to have M when two strong wills come Into con- H flict in the same car, one wanting the H top up, tho other wanting it down. Our B little Invention .makes it possible for M both parties to be accommodated. If H Mr. Spoffard wants to get the air on M his brow and the sun on his cheek, H all he has to do is sit on tho right- m hand sldo of the car and remove the H adjustable top which covers that wing. H Mrs. Spoffard, whose hair blows about H so terribly and who freckles easily. H may sit on the opposite side and, by H pulling a cord, rig up a neat little top H of her own on the- framework over her H seat She may let down tho curtain H between her and Mr. Spoffard as she H chooses, according to the ill-feeling B that has been engendered by tho con- 1 versation previous to the compromise. H This arrangements, above all others, H deserves the name "one-man top." H Another neat little arrangement is H tho pedestrian accelerator. This Is in- H tended as an aid to quick decision on H the part of the person who starts in H front of the car, then, on second H thought, starts back; then, on third H thought, starts forward again, and on H fourth, fifth and sixth successive H thoughts, executes a minuet step in H front of the radiator. Our accelerator H is In the form of a scoreboard an- H nouncer on the front of the car and is H connected with the battery so that It Hi may be worked from the wheel. When H a pedestrian Is seen exhibiting signs of I H terpslchorean indecision, a press on H the button shoots up a sign (electrical- B ly lighted at night) which reads: "Stay H where you are, you boob!" or, if the m wavering one Is pirouetting, directly H In the bath of the car, an alternate M sign may be shot up, reading: "Go ahead, you poor thing!" The psychological psycho-logical effect on the vacillating mind of tho pedestrian of this sudden flashing flash-ing of explicit direction, coupled with ' the slight touch of insult, is to startle him into immediate compliance wiui the order. For those drivers who aro troubled with nervous ladles clutching their sleeves In times of omergonoy wo have devised a sleeve guard which may be worn on the near-arm as a protection against such temperamental assault. It consists of a rubbor covering, in which are set a series of very sharp spikes. This may be strapped to the arm without Interfering with the steering, steer-ing, and the driver may have tho satisfaction satis-faction of knowing that, no matter how many hens dash across the road or how often it looks af if he were going to run into the car in front, his jumpy companion will not grab him by uie arm. at any rate more than once. One of tho most useful and at the same time Impractical devices on our list Is the handy oil well. It Is for use among motorists who have been stranded twelve miles east of the nearest near-est house without gasoline. Of course, It Is of little use unless there should happen to be oil in the ground at that point, but if there should happen to be, nothing could be simpler than to sink our patent well into the ground, tap the supply and leave a quarter on a rock or the owner. Here is something which Is of the highest importance to a comfortable journey and which is, in tho main, quite feasible. It is called the Eureka bump periscope, and may bo ntted beneath be-neath the radiator of any car with a mirror attachment on tho dashboard. It consists of a periscope similar to that of a submarine, only, of course, It is upside down. By means of It the driver may see whatever irregularities irregular-ities there are in tho road about j.ty yards before he gets to them, and may regulate his speed and direction accordingly. ac-cordingly. And, although it may not be the place In a technical article of this kind to mention it. the driver may use this knowledge of coming jounces to make things uncomfortable for certain cer-tain parties in the tonneau, If certain parties are, as the saying goes, non grata. Of course, methods of heating automobiles auto-mobiles are as numerous now as methods meth-ods that won't work. Yet there seems to bo a lack of any effective cooling sysiem. By this is meant a system whereby leather seats which have been standing unoccupied in the hot sun may be tempered so that one does not have to stir constantly while sitting on them. Install my system of refrigeration, refrigera-tion, whereby ammonia and whatever else it is they use, are circulated under the seats to make an artificial Ice. Then you may stay in tho postofflco or leave your roadster in the parking space as long as you wish, and when you sit on the Brat again It will be cool and comfortable like the outside of a mint Julep. If you aro going to crowd as many people into your tonneau as are sometimes some-times deploted there in automobile advertisements ad-vertisements you simply must provide sufficient exits for thorn to guard against panic if your car catches fire far from the nearest hydrant or alarm box. My suggestion is this: Increase the numbor of doors to tho passenger capacity and hand each guest a card reading, "In case of fire, walk not run to exit number so-and-so." Of course, the guest is numbered according to the exit ho should use. As a final suggestion we offer one that, while it may not be particularly practical, would lend a great deal of life and gaiety to an otherwise dull trip in a limousine. It has to do with the telephone which connects tho tonneau ton-neau with the driver's seat, and it would never do to let the driver In on the trick before it was done, or the whole thing would be spoiled. Tho equipment we are advocating would consist of Borne little capsules or containers con-tainers filled with rice-powder or celery cel-ery salt One of these should be In-sorted In-sorted into the tube of the telephone and then the signal given to the driver to listen. As he applies his ear the tho person at the other end should blow hard, thereby causing astonishment astonish-ment to the driver and a pleasant time for all in the tonneau. This probably prob-ably could not be repeated on the same driver. All in all, these few little suggestions havo at least the virtue of sincerity, and somo one of them might make a fortune lor some clever man. It is our duty merely to suggest. oo |