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Show Wil jrSl : THE BEST AVAILABLE The new servant hud presented her references, nnd the lady of ttie house read them over with h doubtful eye. 'Tin not quite satisfied with these, Bridget," she said. j "is'ayther am I, mum," returned Bridget angrily, "but they're the best the ould fool would give me." American Ameri-can Legion Weekly. Independent. "This poem," said the timid caller, "Is free verse." "I don't care whether It's free or not," said the editor of the Chlgger-vllle Chlgger-vllle Clarion. "My pnper this week Is crammed full of pnld-ln-advance political polit-ical advertising und I wouldn't publish pub-lish the best piece of poetry ever written." Vicarious Exertion. "Are you still taking exercise to music?" "No," sold Dubwalte, "I'm taking It by proxy." " . "How's that?" "I sit in a cabaret and watch the lender of a Jazz orchestra call on the saxophone players." Going It Alone. "I've called with a plan to make yog a very rich man," said the stock salesman. sales-man. "That's very nice of you," replied the prospective customer, "but I've decided de-cided henceforth to earn my own fortune for-tune and dispense with outside help." CHILDHOOD GAME Brother Tom How do you get the kids to Fletcherlze so nicely. "By making a game of It." Ml see. Playing chew-chew." Contributed Verse. A motorcyclist, wildly fleet, I tan into Deacon Brace.. The cyclist fell some twenty feet. The deacon felt from grace. Spills the Beans. "I've given up telling my wife anything." any-thing." "So have I mine. It simply goes In at one ear and out at the otlter." "That isnt the trouble with my wife. It goes In at one ear and con i us out of her mouth." Proof Aplenty. "How'd you get the black eyef "Well, a girl told me she kissed." "Yes?" "Being doubtful, I thought I would see if she lied." "Well?" "She dld."--Octopus. A Special Occasion. The Hostess I've got a new maid coming to see me tomorrow. The Guest How delightful! What are you going to weorr Passing Show (London). His Only Command. "Does your wife observe her marriage mar-riage vow to obey?" "Oh, yes. You see Immediately after we were married I ordered her to take her own way In everything." Efficiency. Ted Tom st'ems to be still chasing rainbows, Ned His latest scheme is to go to C.r.st.nt!.iopic and git the kuIIuh t Install a curd Index In his harem. Or Vice Versa. "Nerves seem to be the root of a whole lot of trouble." "Yes, and If you lack nerve you are even In a worse fi. If anything." Out of the Question. Mrs. Crabshaw But couldn't you see that he was going to kiss you? Marjorie Don't talk nonsense, tnatn ma. We had (he light turned down. Just So. "How about an Itching palm?" "An Itching palm is all right If a man is Milling to scrutch for a living." Defined. The visitor was examining the clues. "Cun any little boy tell me what a flsh net Is made of?" be Inquired. "A lot of little holes tied together with strings," smiled the never-fulling bright boy. Wesleyan Advocate. Part c It. Pinks (In girl and music show)-Nice show)-Nice song, eh? Do you know the chorus? Jinks Not so loud, my wife Is with me. I know tlmt litti i-'omle ru thf fnd. |
