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Show Psychologist says Children need encouragement By SHARON P RAGLE Record Reporter Being a parent is a tougher job these days than in earlier times, but the right kind of parenting can turn the average child into a happy, self-confident, successful adult. That's what Dr. Victor B. Cline, professor of psychology at the University of Utah and clinical psychologist with 27 years experience, outlines in his book, "How to Make Your Child a Winner: Ten Keys to Rearing Successful Children," (Walker and Co.). Dr. and Mrs. Cline will deal with these techniques Feb. 11 at 7:30 p.m. in Cedar High School Auditorium in a presentation sponsored by The Utah Association of Women. The cost is $1. Cline believes winning children need to be encouraged to be doers-active doers-active responsible children who know they can succeed because they've proven that by their experiences. Cline's theories of childrearing . began during the Korean War as a member of a behavorial scientist team that the Defense Department assembled when it was discovered that only 20 percent of American front-line soldiers were using their personal weapons, even when under direct attack. "We went into frontline front-line infantry divisions opportunities to make decisions and assume responsibility. It's your way of letting them know they count. It's not enough to just accept and love children. Teaching effective social skills will depend on the child's ability to relate effectively with others. Cline believes these skills can be learned, shaped and enhanced by caring parents. Contributing to superior social skills are six items: being truly loved and feeling secure, having exposure to lots of people, looking attractive but not too different, observing models of social behavior by relatives and peers, having a good self-image, and having at least moderate verbal fluency to carry on a decent conversation. and through interviews and observations identified the fighters and non-fighters," Cline said. The non-fighters, though not mentally defective, generally were unsuccessful in civilian life. The fighters were effective no matter where they were. In civilian life, they were actually winners, Cline emphasized. The kind of family life the fighters and , non-fighters non-fighters had while growing up made the big difference. The fighters came from families where there was a lot of affection, support, and security. The non-fighters non-fighters came from disorganized backgrounds, in which in 40 percent of those homes the father was missing as a result of death or divorce. In the remaining non-fighter homes, the fathers were either absent a lot or uninterested in their sons. "The fighters had parents who didn't overprotect them, who gave them growth experiences and who weren't afraid to trust them a little bit," said Cline. "This turned out to be a very powerful builder of their self-image. self-image. It created within them a sense of i can cut the mustard, I can do it.'" Delivering papers, having personal bank accounts, raising their own gardens, learning to fish, hunt or swim were among the 400 different activities as children the fighters were involved in. The results of the research turned out to be a study of what kinds of personal experiences can lead to competence, self-confidence self-confidence and behavior brought about by stressful situations. Cline and his wife were impressed enough by the information gathered that they decided to use the data in raising their own nine children. Cline defines a successful child as "one who has a deep inner sense of self, a special kind of self-confidence, a quiet courage, a child who knows who he is and has goals." Success is not measured in money, material possessions or power. The first part of Cline's book is a basic, overall strategy for putting together the child who will be a winner. The second part is devoted to the 15 most common problems. Cline outlines stimulating a child's intellect as one of the most important keys. "Children are like little sponges. The only thing that keeps a child back is the parents." The single most important skill to teach is reading, as the ability to handle print media is the key to all knowledge. Cline believes that using symbols and alphabet books at about two years of age can help them learn to read. "Parents shouldn't let their children fail a lot. They should engineer it so that most of their experiences are successful," Cline said. Children need some tangible, successful accomplishments to build their self-esteem. Children need repeated Parents must set their priorities, Cline says. Where a child lives and the influences around' him or her, whether they are negative or positive are important. "People pick a home for the right kitchen or backyard, but the peer culture has to be right, too. If you are good neighbors with good people, it powerfully affects children," Cline states. |