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Show 4 f I A Line o Tvbc or Two 'Lord, what fools these mortals V - 1 By B. L. T. The Carnegie Endowment for International Interna-tional Peace has estimated that the cost of the war was 400 billions in gold coin. Now if we could know how near the moon these coins would reach if placed one upon another, our reverence for statistics would be practically doubled. Suppose You Take This Up With the Dictionary Editors. Sir: Since no one else seems willing to assail your supposed infallibility, I rise to inform you that it is not benedict, bene-dict, but Benedick. E. P. it. "I am sure there are many Individuals (sic) like myself who are interested in reading outdoor thermometers," confides a vox popper. -Righto. Among columns it Is our favorite light reading. Why the Editor fled. (From the Manitowoc Herald-News.) Masons Attention. Cars will leave the clubrooma at 7:00 o'clock sharp Thursday Thurs-day evening to go to the home of late Brother Hugh Holloran at Grimms to say the Kosarv. J. M. ZAHORIK, Recorder. Call the Next Case. Sir: In White v. Dunbar. 119 U. S. 45, Justice Bradley, of tho United States Supreme Court, in discussing' the art of boiling shrimps, says: "Some persons seem to suppose that a claim in a patent is like a nose of wax, which may be turned and twisted in any direction, by merely referring to the specification, so as to make it include in-clude something more than, or something different from, what its words express." Do you argue therefrom that: (1) Bradley, J came from that portion of the country which is supposed to consider con-sider the nose a part of speech, or (2) That the ceroplast made a speaking speak-ing likeness, or (3) Do you dismiss it without argument? argu-ment? BJONES. The small-town merchant who displayed dis-played pink candies in his window "because "be-cause the white ones get dirty so soon" has a double in East Enterprise, Ind. The Vevay Reveille reports that "Joe Marsh is having his confectionery painted." paint-ed." With a good coat o f brow n or pink it ought to ride out the winter. My Dear Watson, This Is a Most Inters' Inter-s' esting Case. (From the Friend of the People.) Our inspector visited the premises on two different occasions, and was unable to find anyone home in the apartment. However, our inspector cautioned the offender about shaking mops, rugs, etc.. over the rear porch, and was promised that It would not occur again. ' JOHN DILL ROBERTSON. The Acid Test. Sir: Speaking of spiritism, I was asked If I thought that spirit photographs photo-graphs proved the case for spiritism. I replied that the answer was in th negative. nega-tive. N. D. Magazine persons are always trying to hiss "How dare you I" and other un-hissahlo un-hissahlo phrase?. If they want a good hiss let them hiss "Swiss physicist.'' Song. If I were a bird And you were a flower. My song should be heard In only your bower. If morning should come And you not awake. My heart, stricken dumb. Most surely would break. My soul then would find The sweet soul of you. And Joined by the wind We'd roam the world through. Tea, roam, wing by wing, With never a fear. Companions of Spring. Forever, mv dear. LAURA BLACKBURN. Dr. Muck expresses himself as satisfied satis-fied with the treatment be rece rred In the United States. Why not? He escaped es-caped with his life. Perhaps It Was a Wide One. (From the Minneapolis Tribune.) Tho bride's only attendant was her cousin. Miss Helen Herrmann, who immediately im-mediately preceded her. Miss Herrmann was gowned in nn attractive blue ribbon rib-bon girdle. Heard In Indianapolis: "Is this an enter-aa-you-pay car?" The Hub of tho Universe. Sir: A citizen of -Niles, Mich., stepping step-ping into a doctor's office, observed a map of "Tho Planets at Dawn." After looking long and intently at it he exclaimed: ex-claimed: "Gosh! where's Niles?" fc- H. B. Tho Purist's Primer. Folks respected Don't Fay "complected." M. A. C. O. "Meet Miss .Tones" Chills my bones. A. D. Tho Reverend Jonathan Brown Is far the host Christian in town; But ho hatee (and 1 know it, And wish ho would show It) Every man who says "Revorcnd Brown." 4 "Prone on back" Is very slack. Thei Williams hotel in Chattanooga aspiree to be 100 per cent pure. Two signs announce: "Immoral characters need not npt'ly" nnd "UnquoHtionnblo couples not wanted." Not Past for a Hearse These Days. (From the Wllllts. Oil., News.) B. F. Watson made- a trip to San Francisco Fran-cisco and ret urned Wedneedl y night with a magnificent Cadillac elght-cyl- Inder auto Eearee, n coming home Mr. WatSOn tried ll out and finds that hn can make forty mUai an hour it ho has to. "We go! Wo gol i iAnnunslol on to Kara! Um-tu-rar-ra!" Society Note. (From the Mattoon Journal-Gazette.) 1 wlah to annpunoe l my social patrons pa-trons that I have accepted a position with tho Spitz clothing store. OSQAR DONHpST. Forecast: CODl Inued dry, with tiol winds. No relief In sight before peo. s. That Illusive Title (From" the Marshall, Mich., Chronicle.) Mrs. T. N. Wrluhl will Speak with regard re-gard to tho authorship of "The Little VlnHor," nnd Mrs. C. C. Weather WAX will read tho story. |