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Show IITaug 'em tip tonight. Joiu thy boost procession, 'flic trails of the Ananias club bouse arc beginning to buljjc. A friend iu need is one who is never able to find one of his kind. If you dou't, believe there is a Santa t'laua. ask the overworked njfiil carrier. Congress has two branches, but neither appears to be of the olive vari-ilv. vari-ilv. - One thing about a horse show is that it keeps thu dressmakers busy while it lasts. However, that su-ramblc for the I'cnusylvauia Senalorship will uaturally be subject , to .Knpr. ftxeept to urjL'o 'that you do it early this inoruing, we are through with Christmas sboppfihj advioei " Mr. 'Koosevelfc only, wishes ihafc'be could muzzle those newspapers as' easily and oft'octivcly as' Von Buclow did the Kaiser. I Whatever tlie Teachers' convention may have accomplished, the pupils will know very well they could have done much better. ' ' ' fn&lrd's health may not be of tbo best, but iu vjew of his poj-scssion of 'hat sixty millions the trouble can't be traced 10 .hi? chest. J - i ho it is lo bo hoped that, when Congress Con-gress resume?, the prayers of the Chaplains Chap-lains -will have a more soothing effect upon its two bodies. "The West is not suffering from lack of tramps," insinuates the Philadelphia Ledger. False friend! Now we know v. hero. they came from, and 'who sent ihoni! With a constitution, and a congress iu his hands, the Sultain 'of Turkey -will now realize" that .the hair-pulling amoug the inmates of his harein' was a more 'astjmi". It seems that some of thos-o Tenn.es--ey night riders really ought , to bp hanged, except that after all. perhaps, hanging would bu altogether' too good for them. After March fourth Mr. Roosevelt is o be known us a faunal naturalist, by order of the Smithsonian Jnstitutiou. That's what ho gels for having called dt her persons some pretty hard names. Hj Whether he shall, retire from the Em- j 'tasradorship. or shall defy the Admin- .-.(ration's wishes by establishing his nght to roraiu the place, Mr. Whitelu-rr lleid may be depended upon to execute 'come-back." Evidently the diffeiouce of opinion hicu exists between Mr. Carnegie and "r. Schwab with respect to tbo tariff n iteel is accounted for iu two situo--ions: The one already has his, and the 1 f ther is looking for his'n. In support, of the graft charges agaiu-t a member of the Pittsburf 'ouncil tho prosecution produced a flafhlight photograph of tijo man. in the ai-t of receiving the bribo money. Jn 'his ease, apparently, tho uegativo is -it'.lizcd "to ustablish tho aillrmativc. Of course, it cannot bo expected that our local bank robbery will "be inves. tigatc-d during tho holidays, buh if a vigorous 'mpvc fo not made' thcrouftc? the matter will dio of its own stulcnepj precisely wlint soino of the guilry parties are devoutly prayiug for. |