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Show jraraiMiii I i Breezy's Sneezers 1 lllllllOlllM A certain poultry fancier had sold a little wooden henhouse. He J got four of his friends to help him I remove it to its destination. Each I of his companions took a corner ! and lifted it on his shoulder. As j they rested halfway up the hill over which they had to travel, they missed the fancier. "Where are you, Vernon?" one of them shouted. "In here," replied Vernon from inside the henhouse. "I'm carrying the roosts." B-S Convict (just arrived): This is an old-fashioned prison. Why don't they get some up-to-date machinery? machin-ery? Guard: What do you mean? Convict: Well, it's- just like it was when I was here twenty years ago--we still crack rocks by hand. B-S . "Can I borrow a cigarette?" "You should be able to, you've had enough practice." B-S QUICK RETURN "Back -already, Mrs. Smith! It must have been quite expensive abroad?" "That isn't why I came back. My liusband sent more money than 1 asked for, so I began to wonder. . . :" B-S Ginsberg had a remarkable run of luck in a dice game one day and piled up $3,000 in winnings. He went to the well once too often, however, shot the whole $3,000 and lost. The shock was so great that he promptly died of heart failure. His friend Solomon was designated to "break the sad tidings to Mrs. Ginsberg. He found her baking a strudel in the kitchen. "Your husband was in a little crap game this afternoon, Mrs. Ginsberg," he said diffidently by way of a start. "The loafer," said Mrs. Ginsberg continuing with her baking. "He was 'ahead $3,000," continued con-tinued Solomon, "but he bet it all at one time and got cleaned out." "$3,000 !" screamed Mrs. Ginsberg Gins-berg now thoroughly aroused. "He should drop dead." Solomon nodded gravely. "He did. Good day, Mrs. Ginsberg." B-S I am very careful; whenever I quarrel with my wife, I send the children for a walk. They look healthy. B-S The children were in the midst of a free-for-all. "Richard, who started this?" asked the father as he came into the room. "Well, it all started when David hit me back." B-S When a mountain preacher came for a call he was surprised to find his parishioner attired in heavy mourning. "My goodness, sister, has your husband died?" he asked. "Oh, no, not this one," she replied. re-plied. "But he's been naggin' and botherin' me so much that I went back into mourning for my first husband." B-S ACTION It is admitted by sales managers hat salesmen must be more aggressive ag-gressive than they have been heretofore here-tofore , In other words, a foot in the door is worth two on the desk. B-S "So, you desire to be my son-in-law?" "No sir, but if I marry your daughter, I don't see how I can avoid it." B-S The etiquete columnist of a Manhattan newspaper received an anxious note from a 19-year &Jd young lady. "I stayed out until 3 a.m. the other night. My mother objects. Did I do wrong?" The lady journalist replied: "Try to remember." B-S TIME TO QUIT Then there was the newly wed actress at a hollywood cocktail i party who turned to her husband I after several rounds of drinks. I "Henry, please don't drink any more," she pleaded. "Your face is already getting blurred." B-S Personell Manager "Your application ap-plication says you worked for your previous employer for 60 years, yet you are only 50 years old! How do you account for that?" Applicant "Overtime.". |