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Show Well sir, it's Valentine Day next Saturday. Sony, but the event rather slipped up on us. We should have served notice last week so our readers, if any, could have made adequate preparations. prepara-tions. However, there is still time for those who really want to make something of the occasion, instead in-stead of dragging out the threadbare thread-bare excuse, "I clean forgot all about it." It has always been the opinion of this column that presents, be they Valentine, Christmas, or Birthday, should be useful and practical. And in addition should oarry a stimulating message. In the hope of being helpful, we hasten to suggest the following fol-lowing Valentine gifts and attendant atten-dant verses, all original variations varia-tions of the old "Roses are red, violets are blue," getups. To the little woman who has - allowed herself to become un-pleasing un-pleasing plump, her husband could bring home a heart-shaped box filled with bran muffins. The enclosed verse might read: Roses are red, And violets are blue; Candy is lovely, But it ain't for you. Perhaps junior wants the family fam-ily car to haul his "chick" two blocks to the Sweetheart Ball. A shoe box containing a pair of ripple-soled shoes would be about right. His verse should go something some-thing like this: Roses are red, But gas costs money; You've a strong pair of legs, And so has your honey. Most folks these days are plagued with monthly payments. A man-andwife joint Valentine would have merit here. It could be a slip of pink paper upon which the family debts are neatly neat-ly totaled up. On the other side could be typed this sentiment: Roses are red, Installments are due; Let's wear out the old, To h?ck with the new. A Valentine exchange between governmental top brass could be all to the good and take the place of the double-talk diplomatic note. For example, Ike could send one to Nikata. A "Crusade for . Freedom" balloon could be floated float-ed over with this message attached at-tached : Roses are red, Many thanks for your offer; I can't come myself, How about Jimmy Hoffa? Finally before we rim out of space, here's one from a wife to her golf -playing husband. We suggest a picture of the family living room featuring a vacant chair. Enclosed in a cute Valentine Valen-tine envelope could be these lines: Roses are red, And golf balls are white; The children are starving, "Come home before night." There "ou have it folks. And with these few suggestions you should be able to think up something some-thing to suit your own particular needs. Happy Valentine to all and so long 'til Thursday. |