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Show j Dorothy Dix Talks j; l THE FAMILY QUARREL I By DOROTHY DIX, the World's Highest Paid "Woman Writer I 1 One of the most amazing things in the world is why married people who are, otherwise, well bred, and good u mannered, so often fight In public. 'n Matrimony is, of course, a dull and . drab state of existence when it slides Into the long, trail that goes winding through the year, and nobody would interfere with tho pleasures of the ; man and woman who seek to vary Its monotony by a little scrap now and then. But surely there Is ample opportun-, opportun-, j ity for these domestic bouts to be held in privacy, in tho time which a hus ; hand and wife per force spend at home i and when the doors can bo shut, and t the blinds pulled down, and the key ' 1 holes plugged up so that neither sight , ; nor sound of the encounter will pene-) pene-) trate to the outside world. Cruelty to Public ; To Inflict these affairs on the inuo-' inuo-' ' cent bystander is a criminal cruelty to dumb animals, for there Js no other i I situation In life that is so accurately embarrassing, nor so filled with poignant poig-nant and helpless agony as to be forced forc-ed to assist In the French sense, at a quarrel between a married couple. Neither discretion, nor tact, offers tho victim any safe way of escape. To take either side is to invito assault and battery. The lady may call her husband hus-band a brute, but if you agree with her she will turn upon you like a wild cat, and tell you that her husband is a perfect per-fect gentleman, and that you are a beast of low degree yourself to traduce that noble and generous man. The husband may say that his wife is a pin headed Idiot, and demand of heaven to know why he was ever fool enough to marry her, but if you assent to his estimate of his spouso he will accuse you of being a Jealous cat, if you are a woman, and punch your nose for insulting the pearl of her sex if you are a man. In either case you will have made two enemies for life, for there is this peculiarity about a hus-baud-and-wlfe quarrel that It brooks no interference, and both combatants Invariably turn upon tho outsider who butts Into it. Nor Is it any safer to try to pour oil upon the troubled waters. No hand is artful enough to apply the lubricant just where the friction is, so tho only thing thai the unfortunate third party can do is to keep still, and non-eomit-tal, and preserve an unarmed neutrality neutral-ity until the storm has blown over. It is a far from exhilarating experience, experi-ence, however, and nobody's Idea of a pleasat and enjoyable time, yet it is one of the social martrydoms that we are all called to go through far too often. All of us know married people who are roally charming, cultivated, delightful de-lightful people, who would be the most agreeable of companions except for the bad habit they have formed of fighting in public, and which makes them wet blankets every festive occasion occa-sion which they attend. These people will take you out in their car, and you will bo having a most beautiful time, bowling along a lovely road, through exquisite scenery, and listening to . their witty chatter. Suddenly some foolish question comes up about a turn in the road, or who owns a certain estate, or how many miles they made on their last ride and biff- bang! they are at it, hammer and tongs. They say the most insulting things to each other. Thoy make the most criminal charges against each other. They delve down into the past and drag out family skeletons that have been locked in their closots for years and years then just as you think that murder is bound to be committed, they simmer down ahd diplomatic relationships relation-ships are again resumed. But your rido has been ruined, your pleasant .afternoon spoiled. A thousand times better to hang on a strap in a street car in peace, than to loll in a limousine with a brawling husband and wife. Or perhaps you are invited to a wonderful dinner by a bellgerent couple. The table is an artistic picture. pic-ture. The food is a chef's masterpiece. master-piece. The guests are interesting and congenial. Suddenly either husband or wife shies his or hat into the ring, and thero is a free fight on, so fierce that everybody begins to duck, for it seems impossible for the cutlery and crockery not to follow their verbal onslaught- Of course, having had these little domestic mlxups a million times be-iore, be-iore, tho husband and wife, figuratively figurative-ly speaking, get up and shake hands after they have been to tho mat, and everything is as before between them. But not so with tho gue3ts who have been outraged and humiliated, and who feel justly that they have been ill-used In having been dragged into a disgraceful scene that they would have given much to havo avoided. Of course married people quarrel he-cause he-cause they enjoy it. It relieves the domestic tension. It warms their blood, and puts pep and ginger int them, and makes them feel good to fight. Otherwise they would not do it, 'because there is never a family spat that could not be avoided if either the husband or the wife really desired to side-stop it. If a husband and wife get any real fun out of insulting each other, and saying unforgivable things to each Dther, It is their personal privilege to io sot but it does seem that tho most 9lemntaly consideration of the footings foot-ings of strangers should induco them Lo reserve their quarrels for home consumption, con-sumption, andnot to force other people peo-ple to be a witness to them. Nobody cares to know what a husband's hus-band's and wife's real private opinions af each other are, nor to listen to a recitation of their faults, nor to any speculation as to why they married each other, and lo be forced to be a party to such revelation fills one with i vicarious shamo for those who have no shamo for themselves. Therefore, iot those who delight in slaughtering the dovo of peace, do it privately at home, but when they go forth in public let them sign a domestic domes-tic armistice that will hold until they ;et back under (heir own roof tree. Alter all, it's a poor quarrel that won't last two or three hours, and the delay, md the wrath they have been nursing, ivlll enable them to go to it with added vJm and vigor. Dorothy Dix's articles appear in this paper every Monday, Wednesday and Friday oo j |
