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Show II Dorothy Dix Says HI i The old superstition that the chief end of a wife is love has 99 given the world the love that lolls. j HI By DOROTHY DIX, The World's Highest Paid Woman Writer j iH B' II When wo speak of a -woman who mW "loves not -wisely but too well" -we II mean some poor, -weak creature who 91 has let her heart run away with her fsi head; who has trusted too much and jjf been deceived. But the real women who 'love not wisely but too well" arc the women who make of their love a grinding ty-1 ty-1 ranny that holds their husband and I children as much prisoners as if they wore locked up in a steel barred jail; who make of their love an Insurmount-I Insurmount-I able barrier that stands forever bc-B bc-B tween husband and children and achievement. m The old supcrstltition that the chief I end of a wife and mother is to love I has made women believe that affection is a sort of universal panacea that you only have to .apply to domestic life, and all is well. I Hence, if a woman knows In her own soul that she loves her husband well enough to die for him she considers that that state of feeling fulfills all of H her marital obligations. It i3n't neces-H neces-H sary for her to bother herself about H keeping a neat, clean house and pro-H pro-H viding him with good, wholesome food. H It isn't necessary for her to be thrifty H and industrious and a good manager. H On the contrary, sho holds that she B can be lazy and trifling and waseful B and extravagant, and poison him with H had cooking, because he's the only S man m tne world to her. She thinks 2frv. that love squares the account with her B triflingness. I A woman will even justify nerseu for nagging her husband to death and not giving him one inch of personal liberty by pleading that her love makes ner so anxious about him that she can'i avoid Interfering with his every act. Who does not know some poor pite-out, pite-out, henpecked man who does not dare-to dare-to ieraain talking with a friend five minutes after his wife expects him to punch the homo time clock, because he knows that if he is a half hour late he will find his keeper walking tho floor tearing her hair in frenzy lest he has been kidnaped on the streets or has not had intelligence enough to keep from being run over? Who has not seen the badgered look on a man's face when his wire reminded re-minded him at table that everything he wanted to eat was bad for his stomach, stom-ach, and that he knew that smoking made men nervous and that a glass of 'beer was tho way nil drunkards start-Who start-Who does not know tho shuddering wretch who lives in terror of his wife's jealousy, who would no more dare to - w have a good-looking young girl stenog ate rapher in his office than he would to g place a dynamite bomb under his swiv- B ol chair, and who cannot even appear B interested in hip dinner partner's con- versatlon or dance twice at a party with tho samo woman without the certainty of paying for it with a scene at home? Who does not know the man whose' career has been blasted, whose aspirations as-pirations crushed by his wife's love, which interfered with his advancement at every step, and was like the old man of the sea on his back when he tried to climb.' Who has not known some mother who wrecked her children's lives because be-cause she kept them tied to her apron strings when they wanted to go out into the world and seek their fortunes? for-tunes? These are the women who love not wisely but too well, and their love is a curse on the Individual on whom it is bestowed far more blighting than any hate could be. Among mj acquaintances Is a fat-placid fat-placid middle-aged woman of this sort, a woman who puts herself upon the pedestal of wifehood and, motherhood and makes a great virtue of her perfect per-fect devotion to her family, and thinks it terrible that any woman should have any Interest outside of the home. If you should tell this woman that her love for her husband and children ' had been the greatest possible misfor- ' tune that could have happened to them ; instead of being a blessing to them, she would not believe you. If you should tell her that she was a vani- '. plre woman far more cruel and conscienceless con-scienceless than the "rag and a bone and a hank of hair," lady of Kipling's Immortal verse and Burne Jones' picture, pic-ture, she would be horrified beyond measure. But it is true. Sho has lived by sucking the very life blood out of those nearest and dearest to her. She has grown fat and comfortable and calm by robbing them of the lwpes and aspirations as-pirations on which their souls were , , set. She has sacrificed everything -that was worth while in them to her I own selfish pleasure. This woman married in her youth a brilliant and talented young doctor. He had already made a fine start In his profession. He had begun to get articles in the medical journals . and to be spoken of by the big doctors as a coming man. He was very much in love with his pretty young wife, but he was also ( very ambitious, and he never dreamed j that matrimony was to be the extinguisher extin-guisher of his career. Rather, he , thought that with a wife to work for and struggle for, he would have an added stimulus to effort. 1 He had not been married long, however, how-ever, before ho found out that "he travels the fastest who travels alone." His wife made of her love a handicap under whose weight he could not run. He could not crawl. When he tried to study of nights or to write, sho wailed and wept that he no longer loved her or else he would want to spend the evening holding hold-ing her hand and telling hc-r how beautiful beau-tiful and lovely and wonderful sho was, as he hau done during the days of courtship. Ho argued with her and showed her how imperative it was that in a science that changed from day to day as medicine does, a doctor must be a student or be hopelessly left behind be-hind tho procession. She had no answer an-swer to his logic, but tears and protestations protes-tations of how she loved him. Her love also caused her to regard every feminine patient as a deadly rival, ri-val, and mado her continually spy upon him, with the inevitable result that women were afraid to go to him and he gradually lost his best paying practice. Opportunity came to this physician to serve upon a commission that would cause his name to be associated in the public prints with some of the leading scientists of the day. He could not accept the honor, which would have made his fortune, because it wouid have taken him away from home and his wife had hysterics at the mere mention of being separated from him. Thwarted at every turn of the bogy , of his wife's love, the man gradually lost ambition and energy and sunk inio just an ordinary, commonplace, unsuccessful unsuc-cessful hack of a physician who makes a precarious living. The best of him was killed by his wife's love. One of the marvels of lite Is the heroic he-roic and cheerful fortitude with which so many men Bustaln the loss of wives who have been noted lor their devotion to their husbands. These are the wo-, men who-havo loved not wisely but too well, and whose husbands draw tho first breath of real freedom tney have had since their marriage day when they put about two tons of granite suitably inscribed, "To a devoted wife" on tho grave of their late tyrants. on |