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Show Pear Johnt Presented as a Community Service Ser-vice from Intermountain Health Care. John Waterbury is Director Direc-tor of Community Services with " Intermountain Health Care. Letters Let-ters and responses to the Dear John Column may be sent to him at: IHCH, 21st floor, 36 S. State, Salt Lake City, Utah, 84111. By John Waterbury Dear John, My husband has a double problem. He drinks too much and he gambles away all our money. Oh, there are times that he wins and we have money for a while, but those times are few and far between. It's not uncommon to come home and find jewelry or furniture missing because he sold it to pay for a gambling debt. We've talked about it, and argued and fought about it, but nothing changes. I don't think I can take it much longer. Is divorce the only solution to this problem? Out of Aces Dear Out of Aces, . . As you are well aware , compulsive gambling is just about as destructive as any kind of compulsive behavior, and it's ex- . tremely difficult to break the habit. But don't give up until you play your trump cards. It's important to understand the dynamics of "Intervention." This technique works with either gambling or chemical dependency depen-dency problems and is an extremely effective measure to begin the process of managing the problem. Contact any of the treatment treat-ment programs in the area for intervention assistance, or contact con-tact me and I'll send you a brochure on the subject. Next, contact Gamblers Anonymous. There is presently only one group that I'm aware of. It meets at St. Mark's Hospital every Tuesday night at 8 p.m. Their telephone number is 521-3394. 521-3394. You mentioned that your husband also has a drinking problem. prob-lem. This is often the case with obsessive gambling. One seems to lead to the other. Again, the key is to manage the situation. Seek professional assistance and contact Alanon for support and information. But don't allow yourself to become a part of the problem by doing nothing different. Don't tolerate or deny the problem. Once again, the key is to manage it. If you would like additional information on specific intervention techniques, contact me and I'll be happy to provide additional detailed assistance. Dear John: We, the children of an alcoholic father, don't know how to cope with this problem, even though my father is gone today. You see, he died drunk and it was the drinking that killed him. One day everything was fine and the next day he didn't come home. The one who came in his place was a policeman telling us our father had strangled to death in his own vomit. Now tell me, how can anyone ever learn to cope with a father dying like that? What are we supposed to do? Still Suffering After Three Years Dear Still Suffering: I can sense the anger, frustration, and resentment in your letter, and it sounds like you have every right to feel that way. Unfortunately, holding on to those feelings will be self-deleating in the long run, and will cause additional problems for you and your family unless you learn how to resolve them. My advice is to obtain information about groups for children of alcoholics. These groups are spreading across the country because of the problems you mentioned in your letter. So you're not alone. Here in this area, Louise Bown, a social worker at LDS Hospital, would be able to give specific information about these groups. Her number is (801)321-5580. Or any treatment center in this area should also have this information. |
