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Show Moustaches still around and tolerated Do you notice anything different? C'mon. Look a little closer. Look at that washed out picture of myself on this column. Notice anything different? You don't either, huh? Well, join the club. It seems I can grow a moustache VT' Bruce or shave it off and nobody notices, : except my wife (thank goodness) who 1 hates it when I grow one. So, anyway, there is my picture, whether you notice it or not, without a moustache. And that brings a few thoughts to mind about moustaches and hair on the face in general. Moustaches they are funny things. It seems that nearly every male, sometime in his life, grows one. Sometimes they don't last long. Sometimes they stay throughout one's life. And sometimes, as in my case, they come and go with the whims and fancies of the wearer, or his wife. There are a number of different types, of moustaches, and, I believe, each different type tells something about the wearer. Take, for instance, the thin Clark Cable moustache. This is almost always worn by someone who would like to consider himself suave and debonair and somewhat like Clark Gable himself. Now, one thing is clear, wearing such a moustache does not necessarily make one suave and debonair and somewhat like Clark Gable; but it makes the wearer think he is, and that is important. Another thing about the thin Clark Gable moustache is that it doesn't show up very well if it is not at least somewhat on the darker side. A little of your wife's mascara will help immensely. But be careful who you kiss. Another type is the over-the-lip, Grizzly Adams moustache. Very macho. In fact, this is so macho that one has to be very careful before deciding upon growing such. You see, the thing about an over-the-lip moustache is that it catches all the food that comes anywhere near the wearer's mouth. And there is something about dried milk in a moustache that simply drives women crazy. A variation on this theme is the over-both-lips moustache. Even more macho. Next is the popular handlebars moustache. This was very popular 20 or 30 years ago, and is finding some vogue again today. A little wax can go a long way on these moustaches and is very effective in forming a- point sharp enough to open canned vegetables with. Also, handlebar moustaches make very good weathervanes. However, the most popular moustache is the grow-it-wherever-and-however-you-can moustache. This is the type I wear, as does my boss. This is not necessarily by choice, but simply because it is the only one we can grow. This type of moustache involves very little trimming or care, and, according to some makes the wearer look older. Now, as you may have noticed, not everyone is agreed upon whether moustaches are a good thing. In fact, there are some who still insist that they are not socially acceptable, including my wife. But I think she has a vested interest. However, there is one thing that is certain. Moustaches have been around longer than the razor and will most certainly be around after razors have long . been forgotten. |
