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Show ABOVE THE j fjyE'RE TERRIBLY embarras- V sed by our resemblance to the cads in the lovelorn letters. Our wife, reading Dorothy Dix, becomes be-comes incensed at some ne'er-do-well described by an overwrought Nellie. Then she looks at us, thinks the shoe fits, and bashes us over the head with it. Comparison of us to some nil-regenerate nil-regenerate who has done in poor Nell makes our gizzard writhe. We're a good hubby. We're provident provi-dent rotate the feeding days of the kids fairly and even have their names on the waiting list of one of the better poor houses. We're so kind the family doesn't quail when we, shout, "Who the devil tore the sports page!" We're angry because our likeness to the rake isn't co-incidental. Lovelorn Love-lorn columns are a plot to keep man in perpetual atonement for suspected sins, and women readers encourage the columnists to por-' por-' tray husbands in the guise of devils to keep a crimp in hubbyk halo. The columnists incorporate adultery adul-tery and sadism in a villianous boob whose character they then weaken with addition of some of our minor vices. Ifi pretty insidious how Dorothy Dix's scoundrels get us in the soitp: We're at breakfast with our wife, reading the paper and eating frankfurters, frank-furters, (who can afford bacon?) Wife read in Dorothy Dix how poor Nell is twittered over a tramp who cheats bis grandmother out of her old age pension at whist and has designs upon Mary Worth. Under his kisses, Nell is as fluid as scalded molasses and has the self-control of a squashed egg, so she lets him persuade her to jilt her well-heeled boy friend to marry the tramp who's so lazy he can provide her nothing to eat but frankfurters. frank-furters. Miss Dix deprecates the match, and so do we on account of the assumption our wife will draw from the frankfurters about the tramp's character and ours. Already Al-ready ideas begin to couple and uncouple in Wifey's head with jerks like railroad cars when the train is being formed. Soon her train of thought is joined into a conclusion. She looks at the franks with distaste and regards us with nausea. "You tramp!" she hisses. "Dorothy "Dor-othy Dbc certainly has you pegged!" |