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Show .parents' Problems ! I p.nmlil Miiyimrtl MM'll rOKUl lTlMi I .,miiMn,i; a ma ciid'i'ii-iti-oM K'1'1 "ml' ,"'r "''I'Vmis? "'" ulril oilier method of (ttiii-;i (ttiii-;i ,f, ,T,V-it ni 1 M-V I'oslmnd I lire ';;,r iUo a " :!',",,m1 f"'1-1" ,,f "1,r "u, k'1'. y ti juMiii'tlmt's she jumps us if she n'iireil when wo speak to her. trT to corn-el eueli thing she !; that we feel Isn't rlKlit, ' sointil,1,,s 1s w0 tv-v to I'laril'y ,,ir Hiill'M,,s iM order to ask ques- !'.', wo fi'id "n answi r cumin;;' :.; ivitli'llu1 rlaritVation. - ' s j ,vm inclined to think that you ' ,lVf had this experience as you ; j"iv formulated the above ques-f ques-f t.,m. 1 boliovo you realize that you Wll your husband, with perfectly 7 nuitemlaMe intentions, have t.et ; ,ip a S'oal of perfection for your I iiusMor that she cannot possibly; i; jjiji'in. This goal has caused both ; to be Ulululy conuorn I you have "nagge.l" her until V M sh y0UnKH,,'r WWf . , 'S t0 ' ''olded o. somctlung that seems perfect y ul nKUt ) to her.ltisli,t,le wi:, . . tin'.,, that she is beginning to Let m, urge you and your hus-.. hus-.. d to go slow , tins "correct-, "correct-, ",s,ness. To bo sure, occa-U occa-U may bo necessary? to but t.rmiy. Remember, i'weyor. that most parents nn, ,dn0:V,'n t0 lu,,rn overlook uch that at present causes them so much consternation. The trial and error method continues con-tinues to be one way by which i "Id en learn to behave as they siould. or rather as we adults think they should. When your daughter does something you unk isn't right, just accept it as the error" part of the process lsn,t misbehaving because of a vicious nature! She just doesn't Know any better. It isn't scolding that .she needs; it's guidance and in formation. It's your responsibility, then, to suggest more desirable ways of behavior, be-havior, and incidentally this is much more difficult than correcting correct-ing her for wrong behavior. When she responds to your positive suggestions, sug-gestions, as she usually will, let her know how proud you are of her. Let your goal be to make desirable de-sirable behavior attractive to her. As a rule, "overlooking" and "approval" are far more desirable and effective than "seeing everything" every-thing" and "correcting." There may be occasions when a slap on the hand or a "spanking" may be beneficial to a child who The problem of stealing is serious but not unusual, Dr. Maynard says in his booklet. It's free to readers of this newspaper. Mail a postcard to Donald ..M. ..Maynard, .810 Broadway, Nashville 2, Tennessee, Tenn-essee, anil ask for your copy. persists in doing that which he knows he should not do. For example, ex-ample, a child who has been told repeatedly that he must not bite other children but who persists in doing so, may benefit by a mild form of physical punishment. As a rule, however, spanking is undesirable. un-desirable. If it arouses in children deep-seated resentments that persist, per-sist, or creates fears that lead to shyness and timidity, it should not be used. I agree with what I sense you feel, that spanking is making your daughter nervous. By all means discover other methods to use when you deem it necessary to j discipline her. If you feel some punishment is necessary, occasion- ally, let it be given immediately ' after the offense and let it be re-i re-i lated to the behavior. This may mean that she must do without her blocks or toys for a short time; it may mean that she must stay alone for a while; it may I mean being taken from the table ' because she insists on being too i "rambunctious" and on refusing to eat. Whatever the punishment, be sure that it does not leave her with a sense of guilt or the feeling that you do not love her. . WILD AND WOOLY TALES My six-year-old son has a vivid imagination. In the past when he lias come from school with wild tales I've listened and then pointed out that it was a tale. Lately he tries to convince me that it's the truth. I've tried to show him that invention is fun but it's important that lie tell he truth when questioned. ques-tioned. I don't consider it a serious ser-ious problem, but don't want it to become one. What do you suggest? sug-gest? It seems to me you have handled the situation very well in the past and that by now your son probably prob-ably knows the difference between his flights of imagination and that which is literally true. At any rate, your son is now six, the age that Gesell calls the "transition age," when he is becoming be-coming increasingly conscious of himself and correspondingly impatient im-patient with criticism or correction. correc-tion. I would be inclined, if I were you, to make no special comment upon his wild tales, other than perhaps, "Is that so?" or "Isn't that interesting?" inter-esting?" and let it 'go at that. It 'is likely that if you not seem astonished or disturbed by them, and give him neither reproof nor praise because of them, he gradually grad-ually will resort to them less and less in his conversation. In all probability, pro-bability, therefore, you are right in feeling this is not a serious problem. I am assuming that the wild tales are not deliberate lies for the purpose of deceiving you as to what is happening at school. Ifj he is trying to deceive you, you need to find out why he feels that is necessary. Are you expecting expect-ing too much of him at school? Are there other children in the family that may be getting more attention atten-tion than he is? Are you giving him the affection and understanding understand-ing that he needs? Is the family having many happy experiences together? |