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Show 4 1 I A Line o' Type or Two t Lord, what fools tiiese mortals be.' I i ! I By 8. L. T. I Remember. I remember, I remember The books I used to read. Sweet F.lsie and the T.iinsmorea And Max and Viamedc. They seemed a, stupid family. But. curled up in my chair. I learned tho whole dam pedigree Because the books were there. I read all Bulwer's novels through And thought them very grand; It was a silly thing to do. But there they were at hand. His heroes quoted Latin verse, And people clapped to hear Which fact, for better or for worse. Determined my career. Webster seemed big and dry, that time. And got my coldest shoulder. Siasted and misled used to rhyme (My wav- wtth words was bolder). I did not know a musketoon From dirk or snickersnee: A doubloon and an octoroon Were common coin to me. I remember. I remember (To wander back to Hood) How words meant anything I chose. And sounded as T would. 'Tis then imagination glows, Kre yet, with fell annoy, Shades of t'ne dictionary close About the knowing boy. PAN. Opposition by the American Legion caused the cc ncellng of Fritz Krelsler's concert In Louisville. Now we have only one criticism of that sort of thing. It Is likely to give the German people an idea that wa don't Uko them. Snappy Stuff in Boston. Sir: Pai-senger stepping on Huntington Hunting-ton avenue car slams hla traveling bag against the motor box. Conductor "Don't break our car." Passenger "I won't, for I see you've had It a long time." WAG. "The healthy glow of youth." exclaims an enraptured advertiser In the New York Times, "that breathes enervating vitality, as she revels out of doors." Full of enervating vitality, too. Is Bill Carlisle, the bandit. . "If Bill," remarks a friend, "had gone In for jumping off buttes for the movies Instead of slicking up trains, he'd have all the women In the country following lilm Instead of cavalry cav-alry and bloodhounds '' Bill appears lo be. In Lincoln Steffens's phrase. Just a "heaithv. good-natured boy." And we'll agree that sticking up trains Is more of a man's Job than jumping off buttes for the movies. Terrific Initial Velocity. (From the Des Moines Register The assassin fired one bullet which penetrated Walt's breast, curiously fo!. lowed over the shoulder and severed the spinal cord, and then fled, escaping in the woods on horse back. Let the Compositor Puzzle It Out. Sir: Found, at Menominee, Mich., a motorman-conductor on a one-man car. who. when approaching railroad crossing, cross-ing, stops his car the regulation distance dis-tance from tracks, alights, walks to crossing, looks up and down tracks. bv i.;gs his arm to highball the car to "come on, ' bosrds the car. rings gong, turns on Juice, aud w a proceed saely on our way. . . If vou fall to get the Inclosed call up friend wife. Went worth 4. and she will decipher U for you. SIIAP. Cltlsens of Mound City went against the high school students to a spelling est ar.d nere route.!. A student for the ministry fell down on "disciple." an attorney muffed "argument (probably spelled It with a 'y'V and a banker messed up "endorsement " Dirge After Sharing. 0 Pussyfoot. O Pussyfoot, Come back from London town. A: (i w rh , ur one remaining eye Ferret this evtl down. The men who make the rator blades When flrat they did begin Turned out a goodly tempered eteel That soothed a stubborn chin. But sine the prices have Increased The blades are made of tln. Wlth tOTS let! and scrape right hideously. They hack one s temper thin. And start the tears from manly oyn Where never tears had been. And woe to him with a tough beard Wed to a tender skin! O Pussyfoot. O Pussyfoot. come back from London tew:. r.d ertth y.ur one remaining eye Turret this evil down. "Amidst the ocean of pen'-up hjman paslons now raging, the farmer Is he only man who has his fet really on t.ie ground "-Charles Barrett, president of the National Farmers' Union. An isle of safety, as 'twere. Charles wears, ws are advised, UH'"- There Was More Kick In the Heroin. Btr When you saw George Arllss In "Jsoviues Duval" AM you get av.y satis-'aclorv satis-'aclorv explanation of why the young marquis took heroin and died when h.-mlghl h.-mlghl have taken the heroine and 11; ej at least for a time H, Jlcw. A wooden wedding of more than common com-mon interest l reported from the Green Spring Valley In Colorado. The marriage Is announced of Norman Mump and Martha Mar-tha Post. A Wild A of the Dogert. iJTovn the Portsles, N. M., Journals Ths governor of the stale of New Mexico Mex-ico has Issued a proclamation designating a day as AmerlcunUatlon day. on which occasion sverv public school In the stale Is ordsrod to .lev ole Its time to the oulo-glsatlon oulo-glsatlon of Theodore noosevelt. a sort of hern worship or hoodoo performance. This a'tsmpt to force upon the people of the elate a proceeding of this character, camouflaged under a patrlotlo name, Is un-American nnd on-democratic, patterned pat-terned after the forced worship ln foreign for-eign countries of n onarchi who rule by force of arms ana alleged divine right. There Is nothing In Ihs career of ftoos"-velt ftoos"-velt that could recommend him to the American people as especially distinguished distin-guished or that Would he calculated to put oN nan-.o above all others ss an 1 tn erlcan. Hoosevelt WM a great wlnd-junimer wlnd-junimer In his time, wan of a disposition t i' Tiule hlni particularly w-ell dlspossd to flattery, was tl.e prince of egotists. I hut olr.er vleo a wrv ordinary Indl-lduel. "Te'ls About Poultry - Mrs. Eunice Tlnt-lens Tlnt-lens Gae Interesting lecture." -Burlington (asette. Her gp eOla.lt? Is, wo believe, Cochln-Cl.lna". Cochln-Cl.lna". Vintage 8tuff. Sir- nun some nno-e of those old one. Thin one sVxcit Willie - "l.ern him. don't smell him." wss neo to me. i. For success In business there Is nothing noth-ing like sn esr'.y start. Thus 1 ' ;. Heu-l Heu-l 1 of the ritandard i Hi "stu rted ss s boy." according to the veracious Trlb. "AntetCM Assln Killed In Mexico."-Milwaukee Mexico."-Milwaukee Henllnel. "That's rather rubbing II In. Wis I Is 11 1 It proverb says.: " t wet Christmas n.sUrs s r t graveyard"? |