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Show I A Line o' Type or Two i M M ! 'Lord, what fools these mortals be. , . I I - By B. L. T. Have 'Em Out. I ' a.t ;i nil LhrouL:;i my head; Twa cry like U20 iiuut. "It is CM;r t'"-th." t:'.o iie::t:st said "Ui.'l'.t have i::o:u out." A drc-a'li'ui :ra:np seiz'-'i on lr.y toea; 1 couiil nor walk about. "It i.i yotir teeth,"' the ilent:st saic 'BlIUt have them out." M v T'OekPlbook pivos ir.e a fit; "'Tis lean, ami once Mas stout I "H Us vour teeth." iho d--in 1st taid .better have thein out"' B. 1L J. Proved Again. Sir: The federal prohi enforcement officer of-ficer for Kansas is C hauneey Doolittle. 'I'll is I'l'iwlusiveh' proved t Uai the pri.-si-de:a, alter ah, is tho tool of tho wots. In spiir of the repeated statement that tlios.' h-trola records were Scotch and bourbon, a number of our scnuta report that tlu-v were Solo rye. Anyway, when von turn them 011 tho company says. "1 could Jislcu to that Kurplc all "light." "VVlicre the Sign painters Go. Sir: I enWose one si amp, U. S. A., value two cents, as h start toward a fund for purchasing dictionaries and spelling-books spelling-books for moving picture producers. My benevolent impulses were stirred by view-in- "The Gay Bachelor," described on the screen as "The tlav Batchelor." an adaptation from "Top Cay Lord Quex," fi mi on the outside poster as "Tho ( lay riac'ueller." I had often wondered what became of the sipn painters when they became too careless to continue that occupation, oc-cupation, it- w. An echo of Eden is the marriage in Vola, tf. P.. of Lewis Mealey and Kthel Appet. Pretty soft. After you have considered the Mcalcy-App'l Mcalcy-App'l nuptials, and worried the wlieezo as a terrier worries a rat. you might consider con-sider the marriage, at Ocaia, of William Penny and Lucy Pound. Of course, your first inspiration will bo "P. w., p. f." Referred to Claire. Sir: Wonder what photoengravers think alout. F'rinstaiiee, having- to multiply In- eight a dos drawn by Bricks, said IJricKS getting credit for the whole litter. N. W. Trying to Kid Somebody. CFrom a home-talent propTam. T take great pride in erecting FTNTO MO VI M rfiXTS and it will give me great pleasure to erect a MONI'M EVN'T for the parties that soli'-it tills kind of advertising. advertis-ing. Frank Harding. Grinnell, la. A despr-rate Milwaukee lunchory attaches at-taches this prayer to its bills of fare: "Derc F7-leiids, please help us save sugnr or we will have to remove all sugar bowls and hide them somewhere in the kitchen." The Promoter. How wonderful, this man who knows That men astute and wise. Purblind to moonshine such as glows Before us poet ffuys. That even, most sagacious! men. For hard-boiled judgments noted. Will chase a star beyond their ken (f properly promoted). Who calls this man a grafter Or jeers the stocks lie bears? He lifts the. smoky rafters And shows yon golden stairs. He points lo mother lodes of tin. Or rocks with silver coated. And proves that fain," ships come in (If stocks can once be floated). Pie talks the Timbuc-Tulsa line To where the gusher roars, Or to the Onbeyonda mine (This poet never bores); To apple groves bevond compare, Plantations dwarf ins: speech: His mileage takes you anywhere (That magic carpets reach). God bless this benefactor. Whose poems never sUile, Who sells a birthright of romance For wads of common kale. From sordid bonds relieved, you learn To tread the rainbow track. He guarantees a safe return. (That is, ho sets you back). It seems to me that poet norm, From Greece to Hindustan. In time dopes out a native form To touch the simple man. Our Yergils sing of golden gleams In ads (hat ever please: Fach Yankee Milton ever dreams Prospectuses like these. PAX. "May a man who obtained a divorce in Chicago seven years ago re-marry- in any other f-.tate without trouble'.'' The Detroit De-troit News informs a questioner that he may. Put how does the News know? IT e r e is n n ad that m ay i r. t e r e s t our new leisure class: "Wiinted Fifty bricklayers; factory building; long job. 'J2L'(i Wabansia avenue; ave-nue; highest wages; plenty of parking space for automobiles." What Do Yon Know About This, Larry! fFroin the Savanna Times-Journal.) Joe Jewel, a foreigner, who works for the Milwaukee P.ailroad company at. Ash-dalo, Ash-dalo, had a disagreeable experience .Sunday, .Sun-day, and as a result is nursing some very sore spots on his bodv. Joe was hunting' in the vicinity of Riverview park and was mistaken for a rabbit by some Chicago Chi-cago hunters, one of whom emptied the contents of his gun into Joe's body, peppering pep-pering him with shot. Joe went to ML Carroll to a ohysiciai), who removed seventy sev-enty shots from his body. While there is no thought oi' any cerious consequences Joe does not feel any too kindly toward the Chicago men. Received by a Chicago teacher: "Please excuse Sarah from school this afternoon so she cdu walk with the massacred Jewy I in XLussia Poland." I "Step Down. Please.'' I ii'.r: Ton remember the cartoon in j "LiiV a Broadway chorus girl dining i sumptuously with a pair of vapid college 1 boys, tho picture entitled "Doing Two Things at Once." Put what I si arted to say was, the elevator man at 1 1 j North State street operates tho car with one hand and reads the newspaper with the other. J. F. B. "Account a nt bookkeeper: capable and 1 fii'ficient man to handle complex set of books: aee L'bx:i2." The Trib. An old hand seems wanted. It Eeally Makes Them Worth While. (From the Johannesburg Sundav Times.) "My husband gave nit- a week's notice and left me." said a police court witness. "H e cannot treat you like a furnished room," protested the magistrate. Kxcel'.eut dialogue of this sort gives a sparkle to police court proceedings. "Wanted Experienced kidder." Kala-nia?.oo Kala-nia?.oo Gazt-jlLe. j Chance for J. V. FT. or son:e other of 1 our contributors. 1 "She made." reports the Aberdeen. S. D.. Xews of a singe;, "she made an impression im-pression to forget." But sometimes it takes years. I |
