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Show Antics of Mrs. Scruggius' Old Cow. ''We used to keep a ccw when we lived in Ciucinater, and, 0 massy, sich a cow ! She use to come up as reglar to her milk as clock-work. She'd knock at the gjte with her horns jest as sensible as any other human critter. Her name was lii'se. 1 never knowed how she got that name; tor she was as black as a kittle. Well, one day Kose got sick and wouldn't eat nothin ; poor thing! and a day or two arter she died, i raly due believe I cried when that poor critter was gone. Weil, we went a liule spell wi bout a cow ; but I told Mr. Scruggins it' wouldn't due no wheie no how; for luive another cow we must; and he gin in. Whenever When-ever I said must, Mr. Scruggins know d 1 meant it well, a lew days arter be cum bum with the finest cow and calf you ever seed. He gin thirty dollars tur her and the cair', and two levies to a man to help bring her hum. Well, they druv her into the back yard, and Mr. Scruggins told me to cum out and see her, audi did; and I went up to her jest as I use to did to Kose ; and wnen I said Poor Sukey, would you believe it, the nasty brute she kicked me right iu the fore part of my back. Her foot cotched in my dress, bran new tut, COot tew levies a yard, and she took a levy's worth right out, jest as clean as the back of my hand. I screeched right out, aud .Mr. fccruggins cotched me as I was dropping L wan't quite so heavy then as 1 am now : and he carried lr.e to the door, and I went in aud sot down. 1 felt kind o' faintish, 1 was so 'bominably skeeted. .Mr. Scruggins said he d larn her better manners, so he picked up the po-tvr aud went out. But I hadn't bai'jly beguu to git a leede strengthened up, afore in rushed my dear husband, flourishing the poker, and that wicious cow arter him, with her head down and tail up, like all mad. Mr. Scruggins jumped into the room, and belore he had time to turn around aud shut the door, that desprit cow was in tue. Mr. Scruggins got up on the dining-table, and I run into the parlor. I thought I'd be safe there, but I was skeered so bad that 1 furgot to shut the door, and, would you believe it? after hooking hook-ing over the dinner-table and rolling Mr. Scruggins off, iu she walked into the parlor, shaking her head, jest as much as to say, ''I'll give you a touch now." 1 jumped on a chair; but thinking that wan't high enough, I ; got one foot on the brass knob of the I'ranklin stove and put the other on the mantel piece. You ought to have seed that cow in our parlor. ishe lo iked all round as if she was 'mazed. At last she looked into the looking-glass looking-glass and thought she saw another cow exhibiting passion, like herself. She shuck her head and pawed the carpet, and so did her reflection, and, would you believe it? the awful brute went right into my looking glass. Well, then 1 boo-houd right out. I 'spose she thought she heard her calf, for she poked her head into Mr. Scruggins' book-case; no duubt she smelt the calf-skin covers. All this time I was gating agonized. The brass knob on the stove"got so hot that 1 had to sit on the narrow mantel-piece and hold on to nothin'. I dassiut move for fear l'dj slip off. Mr. fccruggins come round to the fiont door, but it was locked, and then he cum to the window and opened it. 1 jumped down and run for the window, aud hadn t more than got my head out afore 1 hurd that critter comin' arter me. Gracious, but I was in a hurry. More haste, less speed, always; for the more I tried to climb quick, the longer it took me; and, would you believe it ? jest as 1 got ready to jump down, that brute of a cow cotched me behind, and turned me o'er and over out of the window. Well, when I got right-side up, as they put on luoking-g!a boxes, 1 looked up to the window, and here stood that cow, with her bead between the white aud red curtains, and witli another piece of my dress dangling on her horns. Well, husband and me was jest starring for the little alley that run alongside of the house, when the cow gin a bawle, and out of the window she come, whiskin' her tail about. li cotched on fire in the Franklin stove, and it served her right. Mr. Scrugsiiu-and Scrugsiiu-and me run into the alley in such haste we got wedged fast. Husband tried tc get ahead, but I d been in the rear long enough; and I wouldn't let him. And, would you believe it ? that dreadful cow no sooner seen us in the alley,when she mad a dash. But. thank goodness! she stuck fast tue. Husband tried the gate, but that was fast, and there was nobody inside the house to open it, Mr. Scruggins wanted to climb over and unbolt it, but I wouldn't let him. I wasn't going to be left alone agin with that desperate cow, if she was fast, and I made him help me over the gate. Ah, dear, climbing a high gate, when you are skeered by a cow, is a dreadful thing, and I know it ! Well, I got over, let husband in, and then it took him and me and four other neighbors neigh-bors to git that dreadful critter out'of the ailej She bellowed aud kicked, and her calf bellowed to her, and she bawled back agio; but we got her out at last, and sich a time, ah dear ! "I had enough ot her: husband sold her for twenty dollars the nest day. It cost him seventy cents to git her to market; and when he tried to piss one of the five dollar bills he got, would you believe it? the nasty rag was a counterfeit ! Mr. Scruggins said to his dying day that he believed the brother of the man that sold him the cow bought it back agin. I believe it helped to worry my poor husband to death Ah, child, you belter believe I kno what cows is. " The old lady's agitation was so great at this point of her story that she dropped a stitch in her knitting. |
