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Show There's An Answer By NORMAN VINCENT PEALE AND RUTH STAFFORD PEALE Q. I have been married 14 years and not at all happily, although I do have three wonderful, healthy daughters, for whom I thank the Good Lord. MY HUSBAND, aged 49, treats me shabbily. Sometimes Some-times he strikes me with his fists. I think the real trouble is that he needs rest and relaxation. He doesn't take a vacation. He'd rather have double pay, though we don't need it because he makes good money. He owns his home. We have never been in debt. I wonder what should be done tactfully about him. Can you give me any suggestions? A. TRY standing up to him. Tact doesn't always work with a bully. Tell him in no uncertain un-certain terms that you are finished with being a punching bag. By all means don't nag or whimper or be too soft and forgiving, unless he sincerely wants forgiveness. Your husband may be one of those men who punishes himself with overwork in an effort to compensate for some inner conflict. Consult a pastor, pas-tor, psychiatrist or psychologist about methods for getting at his-and your problem. YOU OBVIOUSLY have a problem because you have let him get away with his outbursts out-bursts for too long. We note . with interest that you refer to your home as his not "ours." Maybe you should change your thinking about that. Q. When one is fully occupied oc-cupied with the care of children and the home, is it wrong to refuse to take on the care of an aged, semi-invalid parent? My father is well cared for in a home for the retired but he keeps urging me to take him into my home. I feel that it would be unpleasant for my husband and children and that he would need more care than I can give him. A. IT IS only natural for a son or daughter to have guilt feelings about not caring for an aged, infirm parent. But the chances are that such a parent is receiving better and more constant attention in a good retirement community or well-run nursing home than could be provided in a family situation. If your father is well looked after and if you and your family are able to spe him frequently, you are no doubt doing what is best for him. His desire to come into your home may seem incon- siderate but it is understandable understand-able and can be overlooked in view of his age. Naturally his world has shrunk and he has more time to think about himself, and so, despite himself him-self he has become a bit selfish. sel-fish. IF YOU let him know you still love him you can help him overcome his feeling of abandonment. |
