OCR Text |
Show Bit f ftf Humorous M MIL BEGAN EARLY A little boy, returning home after a Sunday school class, gazed for a time at his bahy brother. Just one month old. "Mummy," be said, "when will baby begin to talk?" "I expect It will be a year or mora before he can say anything," was the discouraging reply. "Why, Mummy," said the boy In a very disappointed tone, "Job cursed the day be waa born I" Stray Stories. Another? She had Just accepted him, and they were blissfully discussing the "mlgh t-have-beens." "Darling," he Inquired In the confident con-fident tone of one who knows what the answer will be, "why didn't you tccept that little donkey, Jones?" "Because," she answered, dreamily, "I loved another." Plain Dumb, Mayba "What makes you think ho was an amateur In crime?" asked the chief. "Well," replied the cop, "there was a Oiling station on one corner, a speak easy on another and a popular beauty parlor In the block, and yet he goes and robs a dinky gents furbishing fur-bishing store." Cincinnati Enquirer. LARGE IF "Do you tliluk a man should divide his earnings with his wife?" "l'es If she don't get It all first," Easily Explained Judge How can you be so mean as to swindle people who put confidence con-fidence In you? Prisoner Well, your honor, they are the only ones that you can swindle. Blarney Lady Motorist But really It wasn't my fault I put out my hand. Gallant Irishman Sure, me darlln', 'tis your hand that's so small I didn't see It at all. London Daily Telegraph. Tele-graph. Poor Credentials Hurja Say, I was a fool to tell Uiat dentist that you sent me to him. Slncepaw Fool what do you mean? Hurja Well, he just made me pay cash in advance. More Appropriate Mrs. Jewsmith I suppose you'll want a den in our new house7 Mr. Jewsmith I'd like one but I lead such a dog's life I guess I'll hav to be content with a kenneL Ferry's Seeds are sold only In fresh dated packages. When you buy Ferry's Fer-ry's Seeds you are sure of the finest quality available. Adv. The Only Way Did you hear about the two kangaroos kan-garoos who . skipped from home, Jumped into marriage and lived hop-pily hop-pily ever after? A Different Kind London child (on her first view of a rainbow) Oo-mummy what la it, advertising? London Tatler. |