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Show UhJmkd about Butchery by Air. SAN ANTONIO, TEXAS. Following the example of II Duce and that sir-minded son of his, who wrote a brave book describing the joy of bombing undefended mud villages full of women and children, one of the leading statesmen of Italy has delivered deliv-ered a speech declaring war is the most glorious, most inspiring, in-spiring, most beautiful thing on earth. Inquiry discloses that this cheery patron is a hero in his own right. As an officer, he enthusiastically participated in the retreat from Caporetta. Caporetta was the place where all ranks of an entire army, with victory vic-tory against the en- emy right around the corner, suddenly sudden-ly remembered they had sworn to die in the last ditch and started for the extreme ex-treme rear to look for it. Or it may have been that everybody ev-erybody just simultaneously simul-taneously felt homesick. home-sick. Anyhow, it was teg?' t 11 rf-irt months before some Irvin S. Cobb with their panting. So it's possible this blood-thirsty orator has confused the science of warfare with the sport of footracing. foot-racing. The Meaning of Words. A DISTINGUISHED gentleman, who never admitted the Eighteenth Eight-eenth amendment was a failure, is said to be comforting the drys with words of wisdom, his attitude in effect being this: The causes of sanity and safety suffer because certain distillers and many local retailers indiscriminately indiscriminate-ly sell an unnecessarily high-powered product, the results being law-breaking, law-breaking, property damage; danger and personal injury and untold suffering suf-fering for innocent parties; homicides, homi-cides, mutilations, often a horrid death for the purchaser of the article arti-cle in question. To extend the argument further, let us change just three words: "... Certain automobile manufacturers and many local agents indiscriminately indiscrim-inately sell an unnecessarily high-powered high-powered product, die results being law-breaking, property damage; danger and personal injury and untold un-told suffering for innocent parties; homicides, mutilations, often a horrid hor-rid death for the purchaser of the article in question." Now then, when the aforesaid gentleman gen-tleman kindly proves that, in selling sell-ing cars capable of traveling 130 miles an hour or even faster, for use on highways having a speed limit of 60 miles an hour, or less, he is promoting the causes of sanity and safety, I'll turn prohibitionist with him. Traction! Joke,s. THREE city sportsmen drove into the Kerrville country in Texas. Everywhere the lands were posted. But one of the party knew an old rancher whose acres bordered the highway. Leaving his mates at the road, he went to ask permission to hunt deer on the property. "Sure," said the owner. "Bust right in my place is full of bucksj I never gun 'cm myself. Now do mo a favor. As you turn into the lot, you'll sec an old, crippled, sick white mare. She oughtcr be dead, but I ain't got the heart to kill any living creature. Tut her out of her misery, will you?" The gratified huntsman h.cd a waggish idea. As he opened the pasture gate, ho let out a terrific yell. "I feel so good I've go to shoot something!" he whooped. "Believe I'll shoot a horse to start with." With that, he hauled off and blasted blast-ed down the feeble old nag where she leaned against the fence. "And now," ns he turned on his horrified companions, "I believe I'll shoot mo a couple of so-atui-socs." Ho waved his rille in their direction. direc-tion. The next instant one had vaulted out of the car and had him down, choking him until his tongue stuck out like a pink plush necktie. They were halfway back to town, with a large man sitting on his head and another driving like mad to find a lunatic asylum or a stout jail, before be-fore the humorist succeeded In convincing con-vincing them it was nil just clean, boyish fun. Now the rest of Texas Is wondering wonder-ing whom the Joke's on. iitviv s. coim. Cup.vrluM. WNU Service. |