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Show "But great Scot!" ejaculated the wabhing machine agent, "it Is not a crime, is It, lor a person to walk la his stocking feet? Why, my dear sir, I personal liberty" I "Aw, personal liberty is proper i enough as long as It dun't interfere 1 with the rights of other people. Anything Any-thing that tends to add to the silence of our promlsln' little city Is an offense of-fense against the general weal. We're public spirited here, even If wo ain't exactly metropolitan." Puck, The Summer Glrl'6 Problem. When forth she goes at fashion's call To promenade and chat. How shall she find a parasol That's bigger than her hat? j Washington Star. Alas, Poor Maryl Mary had some roller skates, But the street was awfully hard; Mary's now upstairs tn bed And the skates in the discard. Chicago News. JUST FOR FUN That Clever Preacher. A negro preacher, whose supply of hominy and bacon was running low, decided to take radical steps to Impress Im-press upon the flock the necessity for contributing llberali to the church exchequer. ex-chequer. Accordingly, at the close of tho sermon, he made an impressive pause, aud then proceeded as follows: "I hab found it necessary, on .account .ac-count ob de astrlngency ob de hard times an' de glneral deficiency ob de clrciilatln' mcjuui In connection wld dls church, t' lnterduce ma new otter-matlc otter-matlc c'lection box. It is so arranged dat a half dollah or quahtah falls on a red plush cushion without noise; a nickel will ring a small bell distinctly heard by de congregation, an' a button, but-ton, ma fellow mawtels will flash off a pistol; so you will gov'n yo'selves accordingly. ac-cordingly. Let de 'election now p'ceed w'lle 1 takes off ma hat an' gibs out a hymn." Tit-Bits. Another Defective Memory. " 'Itastus," said the s-dlcltons employer, em-ployer, "didn't I warn you against the dangers of Intemperance?" "Yassir " "Didn't I tell you not to drink anything any-thing stronger than ginger ale?" ' Da's de word dat done bother me. 1 couldn't remember dat ger ale part. 1 done my bes', but all 1 could recolleek were do first syllable." W ashington Star. Hint to the Optimist. Sam Sunflower--Deso heah optimists optim-ists am always talking about a man ought to be up to his ears In happl-. ness. ' Pete Persimmon Huh! Here's only one w-ay to be up to yo' ears In happiness, hap-piness, en dat am to be up to qo' eurs In a watahmelon, sah. Chicago News. A Neighborhood Row. "What's all tbls continuous trouble among the Balkan etales?" "It's this way: S-me of them Balkan Kings is making garden." "Making garden?"' "Yes; and other of them Balkan Kings insists on keeping chickens." Kansas City Journal. The Bearer of Treasure. "I understand." sHid MUs Miami Brown, "dat you has a position of great, trust and responsibility." "Yes." replied Mr. Krastus Pinkly; "dey les me carry de po'tcrhou&n steaks all de way f'um de kitchen to j de dlnln'-room." Washington Star. I Insinuating Slander. "I beard some of your constituents sav you never betrayed a tmst." "It is doubtless another of those Insinuating In-sinuating xlanders." replied Senator Sorghum. "I never bad any confidential confiden-tial relations with a trust in all my life." Washington Star. Chance for Both. "The man who wins," remarked the morallzer. ' is credited with having foresight. " "Yes." rejoined the demoralizer, "and the man who loses Is Riven a chance to develop his hinds Icht." Chicago News. A Deadly Orfente. "Well, sir." remarked the somewhat pnrruloiis landlord of the Puxleo tavern. tav-ern. "ThroKrnorton. the con;able, -arrested a teller day before yesterday for walking down Main street here in the middle of the nfternoon in bis stockin feet. He's in j;ill now. an" |