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Show UNCLE SAM HITCHING UP FOR THE CAMPAIGN. The following poem is by "Uncle Sam" himself, preliminary to hitching up one of his animals to work for the next four years. As every one knows, the elephant represents the Republican party, the donkey or jackass, the Democratic party, while the bull moose represents rep-resents the Progressive party. But in this poem the bull moose moro particularly represents Theodore Roosevelt, the next president of tho United States. Everybody will appreciate Uncle Sam's first effort in hitching up tho bull moose: It's a darned important journey, an; I'm calculatin' which Of the critters in my stable it 'ud bo the best to hitch, He'll be up against some haulin', for I'm loaded liko the deuce - Tho Elephant? Tho Donkey? Or the Old Bull Moose? When last I tried to make it, with the Elephant along Well, you couldn't harly blame me, for he looked so good an' strong; But he wasn't pachydermic any deeper than his hide, An' as soon as he got started there was somethin' else inside! He's atandin' bore a-trumpetin' the way he used to do, An' he'd like me to be thinkin' that heJs elephant all through, But he's got so mean an' ornery he ain't a bit of use, So I'll have to hitch the Donkey or the Old Bull Moose. The Donkey's done some haulin' just around the stable yard, But he's never had to tackle any goin' that was hard, An' because the trip I'm takin' ain't related to a cinch, Why, hell mebbe go au' founder when I need him in the pinch. Then there's somethin' FREE an' easy in the way I've heard him bray An' I wouldn't want him smashin' EV'RY TOLL GATE on the way! No, I never knew it donkey, ANY donkey, to produce So I better be a-squintin' at the Old Bull Moose. t i 1 haven't druv him lately, but he's prancin' in his stall, An' he looks as if his lay-off didn't hurt him none at all; Tho' it wouldn't be so awful if he is a little slower, For that other time I used him jumpiu' hemlocks, what a goer! When we'd hit the hilly places you could bet your bottom dollar That he'd either pull 'er over or go climbin' through the collar! Oh, he wasn't very showy, but he got there fresh an' spruce For I never saw a puller like the Old Bull Moose. l Tl's a darned important journey, an' I'm calculatin' which Of the critters in my stable it 'ud be the best to hitch; But he's got to do some haulin', for I'm loaded like the deuce So I guess I'll put the harness on the Old Bull Moose. EDWARD MORRISSEY. |