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Show My Favorite Jokes EDITORS NOTE: lulie De lohn, who by Julie De John often trades on her "round" size for laughs, says, "I never pick on anyone in the audience. I poke fun at myself. First, I announce that I'm only one person standing here in case there's any confusion. And I explain that I used to have to sing with a heavy girl it's already years since she hit the act and people still think Im doing a double." Actually the De lohn sisters a singing act broke up seven years ago and Julie went it alone, adding more and more comedy material so that the comedienne in her controls much of what happens She has clubs in hotels the across and performed country and on the Mike Douglas, David Frost, Tonight, and Steve Allen shows. It's quite a jump from the second grade when she got bitten by the show business bug while playing the mattress in Sleeping Beauty. Julie is married and has two sons. Herewith some of the weight stories Julie tells on herself: e. cause I look like Fort Knox in motion. And not white they show movies on me. Fat people like me sometimes wonder about this age of science. They can send a man to the moon but they can't make a head of lettuce taste like lasagna I'm always being mistaken for Kate Smith. From the back I look like her. From the front I look like the bark of her. When I was in school I took ballet lessons long enough to be in the first recital. We did the New York version of Swan Lake they used a polluted lake. Some of the clubs you have to play. Brother. One place had so many gangsters, even the bathroom had an assumed name. You told the doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet. So he gave me pep pills. ou know what happened? I ate faster! I My doctor told me emphatically to "think thin, think thin, think thin." So I thought thin it worked. I lost three inches around why? people out there think youre smart shoppers! My husband paid $2 for a riage license and look at all he got. mar- I'll have you know you're looking at a famous singer. I was the first singer in hiswith a Hershey bar in tory to hit a high-her mouth. C my head. even tried to be a stripper once. I used to do the dance of the seven veils only I used 107. I Actually there are some good things about my weight. When I'm pregnant nobody knows it. My waist measurement is 26 inches. That's just on one side. The other side's smaller. Of course, there are some great disadvantages. Every time I get into an elevator it goes down. My beauty parlor certainly doesnt do anything for my ego . . . went in there the other day. I said, What can you do for me? I They said, How about white side walls? Its To Laugh .. And I have to face some of my limitations everything works in reverse for me. Certain colors I can't wear. I can't wear red people jump on my lap and tell me what they want for Christmas. I can't wear green they call me the jolly green giant. Yellow they yell, "Taxi!" I cant wear gold be j STATION We have a Volkswagen and I'll never forget the time we went in to buy it. I asked the guy, "Where are your fitting rooms?" get very excited before a show. I hear the musicians tuning up, I see the light man getting all the light cues ready, I hear the see the guys guys fixing the microphone, reinforcing the stage and I see myself fallI I ing through it. was on the banana and coconut diet. didn't lose weight but boy, can climb I I I a tree! I KVX? -- h "I saw my opponent making a fool of himself on your station last night and I demand equal time.' 28 PARADE MAY 21. 1972 |