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Show A8 Wednesday, April 25, 2007 Vernal Express inDon Op Public Forum - Letters to the Editor What is your opinon? The Vernal Express welcomes letters from its readers read-ers concerning any subject pertinent to the Uintah Basin. There are no restrictions on contents, if not libelous, vindictive and if in good taste. The letters may be edited for length. Letters must be submitted exclusively to the Vernal Express and bear the writer's full name, signature, phone number and address. Letters for the sole purpose of expressing thanks to individuals or groups will not be printed in this forum. Letters may be mailed to 54 North Vernal Avenue, Vernal, Utah 84078, faxed at 435-789-8690 or emailed to editorvernal.com The name or names of the persons submitting letters must appear on all published letters. Letters express the opinion of the writer and are not necessarily the opinion of the Vernal Express. So many possibilities for tribe with change in leadership Dear Editor, First of all, I would like to congratulate Curtis Cesspooch, Phil Chimburas and Steven Cesspooch in their victory. It is very refreshing to see change, a good change. For the past four to five years we as tribal members have heard of nothing but the Financial Plan from our leaders. It made me wonder if there were any other issues in our society that held any importance. Every time I read anything about our tribe, the words Financial Plan, scandal, Water Settlement funds or Jur-rius Jur-rius would dominate the page. How could this be when there are so many important factors to our lives? It was very depressing to know that our leadership was so arrogant, vindictive and so will-ingto will-ingto violate the very foundation we live on, our Constitution. I often wondered what our leaders were doing to offer relief Letter from the Citizens for Education Excellence Committee: The members of the Citizens for Education Excellence Committee Com-mittee released the following statement, April 21, 2007. The question of adequate funding for education is an ongoing discussion. It is clear that Utah has a unique problem of having hav-ing more children per family than any other state. We have always justified heinglast jjj the amount spent on each student by the fact that Utah ranked in the top five in effort of funding as determined by the amount of personal income dedicated to education. This may have been true in the past but we now rank 27th in effort and we continually fall further and further behind the 49th state (Mississippi) in per student funding. While the legislature put a significant increase in-crease into education, much of it was one time money. If we are to have an excellent education for all Utah children, it is our opinion that two things must happen. First, adequate funding for education must continue over many years. A one-time fix is not possible. Second, as the K-16 Alliance Special Task Force on Teacher Shortages recently reported we must find ways of attracting and retaining quality teachers. I DOAITORE A COWBOY, m 00:07 teem on other important social issues such as education, health care, child abuse and the many other things that we face in everyday life. Personally, I would like to see a balance in what our governing body addresses and how they attend to these matters. For this period of time, there was no oversight at all. Who were our tribal attorneys? How were they selected? So many questions that we all share. It will be good to think that our leadership will act as leaders should, leadership in control, not an advisor. The idea of and actually having hav-ing a financial plan is a great thing, especially when we have so many resources. We know that the majority of our resources are non-renewable and someday we will have to rely on other means of revenue. Let us look around, what are the possibilities? There are so many possibilities possibili-ties that exist for our people. We Dave Sperry and the Task Force are to be congratulated on their thoughtful recommendations for enhancing the ability to attract and keep quality teachers in our school systems. The State Board of Regents and the State Board of Education will now receive and respond to those recommendations. The , Citizen Committee onEducation Excellence strongly recommends that the Regents, the State School Board, the local school districts, the Governor, and the legislature carefully examine the five recommendations suggested by the Task Force with an eye toward potential implementation. implementa-tion. We especially hope they will consider alternative schedules that would allow for greater flexibility flex-ibility for students and enhance the opportunity for teachers to make an adequate salary. We ask that citizens across the state study the recommendations recommen-dations and urge their decisionmakers decision-makers to seriously consider the recommended alternative schedules. We especially urge Chambers of Commerce, Utah Manufacturers and other groups concerned about our schools providing pro-viding quality education to study the report and be a strong voice in the implementation of the ap IF YOUR REALLY 5TILL NOT 60ING need to execute, just as we need to execute our financial plan. We do need to invest, not just have Boards sitting there talking talk-ing about investing. We need to know what the potentials are, as far as risk and return. How does our investment advisory board filter and execute? I have no idea, but I think we would all love to know. In closing, I would like to express my happiness in knowing know-ing that accountability is around the corner. I know each of the councilmen-elect and know that they will do good things by bringing bring-ing stability back. Let us not abandon our Financial Plan, let us make it stronger along with every other aspect of our tribe. If something is good and working, work-ing, let us keep it. If something is broken, then discard it. John Gamiochipi Scottsdale, Arizona propriate recommendations. The current school calendar is still based on the agricultural need for students to be involved on farms and ranches. The demographics demo-graphics of Utah have changed. We are no longer an agricultural state. Many students would prefer pre-fer having vacation time in the winter to take advantage of Utah's superior snow. . Others, would prefer goingto school year round to complete their higher education at an earlier age. Others would prefer the school schedule to remain as it is. The suggested plan would allow for such flexibility. It also allows teachers the same flexibility. Those that prefer the current schedule can remain on it. Those that need an enhanced salary can choose to teach an increased number of days. It is critical that we as citizens realize that additional funding is needed for education if we are going to have the quality of education that we want for our children, but we also must realize that we must find more efficient use of the money we have. With over 10,000 new students coming into our educational system each year we must do both. TO KISS YOU. wp YOU KNOW .THIS IS JUST A OVERNIGHT TRIP BUTCH. Cleaning Hwy 40 Dear Editor, Thank you, thank you, thank you, to all of you who cared enough to come out and help clean Highway 40. Because of you we've almost got the job done and it looks amazing. Thank you so much. You're awesome. It was such a great thing to see so many come out and show their community pride. Now all of us can have more pride in our community. I want to particularly thank my own family, they were great.;! Without them I could not have done it. They made my mom's mission their mission. Thanks you guys, you're the best. Lack of emotional intimacy spells trouble for marriage How does it happen that one partner in a marriage can be so surprised by their mate's hon-est-to-goodness desire to leave their marriage? Did it really come out of the blue? Weren't there warning signs? Poor conflict solvers. For couples with poor communication communica-tion skills, resolving conflict may be too difficult and only makes matters worse. One or both partners may be too reactive reac-tive and unable to listen to their partner's point of view - or unable to empathize with it. Intense conflict seems inevitable and discouraging. It often happens that one spouse is overly sensitive to confrontation, con-frontation, dislikes anger, and is quick to withdraw from conflict discussions. He or she sees their partner as being "too" intense or angry - too strong, rigid, unreasonable unrea-sonable and unrelenting. Often in this unpleasant mix of pursuitwithdrawal, communications com-munications break down and unresolved problems accumulate. accumu-late. Frustration and disrespect mount on both sides. The angry conflict shows up in their avoidance of sexual relations which accelerates the downward slide of their marriage. mar-riage. This additional problem weighs heavily on one or both partners. The combination of lack of emotional and physical intimacy, if unaddressed, can be lethal for marriage. The groundwork is laid for divorce or vulnerability to an affair. Pleasers fail to please. The saddest situations are where one partner decides that to get along in the marriage, he or she gives in and goes along with his or her partner's expectations. The non-assertive non-assertive partner submerges his ,or her personality, strong opinions, opin-ions, values, and complaints for the sake of getting along. True feelings aren't expressed. Years of not dealing with each other on an equal "give-and-take" basis makes true emotional intimacy impossible. Too many important things aren't talked about. Feeling dissatisfied, the more vocal and expressive partner part-ner asks for a divorce. The "pleaser" doesn't understand un-derstand how his or her commitment com-mitment and sacrifice can be rejected. The painful awareness their marriage is in jeopardy I want to give a special thanks to Roosevelt's Russ Cowen and his family, who came out and set the example that no one is above doing a little grunt work, and that if we all pitch in we can get the job done. I want to thank McDonald's and Wal-Mart for supplying us with water. Like I said, we still have some work to do. We have about five areas that didn't get cleaned so again, I ask for your assistance. If you would like to donate : a felThourCad:elK us finish it give me a "can &t 722-4215. The thing that I've learned in doing this is that our Adopt- gives him or her the courage to bring out true feelings. It is paradoxical that under normal conditions he or she didn't feel "safe" with conflict and differences, differ-ences, while now, under threat of divorce - a definitely "unsafe" situation - honesty is the only thing that will work. It can happen the other way also. The passive spouse who fails to take corrective action when it is necessary lives with resentment about the one-sided-ness of the relationship. Finally the loneliness and the lack of connection is too much and he or she wants out. Surprisingly, his or her spouse welcomes the honesty and wants a relationship based on genuine give-and-take. A lot of water or wasted years have gone under the bridge. Failure to take responsibility. respon-sibility. One partner is lazy and selfish. It is only his or her world that matters. In daily life, he or she doesn't cooperate, do their part, or respond to their partner's difficulties or needs. His or her partner's requests for change aren't taken seriously. Sometimes this lack of responsibility re-sponsibility extends to money management, work, parenting, health concerns, addictive or compulsive behaviors, temper problems, cooperation in the homeorotherissues thatdestroy their spouse's morale. Laziness, callous neglect or lack of caring interferes with his or her partner's desire to be warm, loving and affectionate. A cold indifference or hostility hostil-ity may take hold and soon the "responsible" partner finds him or herself being equally chilly or indifferent back. He or she doesn't like the person they are becoming to survive. , He or she may even feel conflicted - loving their spouse with a paternal or maternal or with a quasi-sibling love but not connecting with their mate in an equal, respectful way. Their spouse loses their attractiveness attractive-ness or sexual appeal as a true partner. The lack of emotional intimacy leads to indifference or lack of desire in their sexual relationship. The dilemma. It is a tragic situation where the unhappy spouse requests, demands, demands de-mands again, finally gives up and begins to grow apart. He or she a-High way program, for one reason rea-son or another, has sort of fallen through the cracks. If you or your club, business or organization would be interested in adopting a two-mile section of highway and cleaning it three times a year, call me and I will put you into contact with UDOT. I urge everyone to be mindful mind-ful of littering; it is ugly, and disrespectful, and it is against the law. Again, I thank all of you who SffSdeTt happen. Sincerely, Terry Rohrer goes underground with feelings of disrespect, anger, contempt, and ultimately apathy. For a while the couple may get by with living separate lives, ignoring the emotional pain and distance between them. They may be caught up in children's activities, career pursuits, or friends, and sidestep the obvious dissatisfaction between them. Unfortunately, one partner's patience wears down and he or she entertains divorce as preferable to living in a painful marriage. What is amazing is that all the requests for change aren't listened to, believed or taken seriously seri-ously until the threat of divorce becomes real. By then, promises for changes are not believed. Even more amazing is that unhappy feelings are lived with for years, never expressed or addressed and then surface when feelings of love and care are gone - or almost gone. One partner is genuinely blind sided by the depth of the problems and the lack of a chance to correct cor-rect them. The "shocked" partner is ready to change. The disillusioned disillu-sioned partner doesn't believe it can happen - or isn't interested. He or she has been too unhappy for too long and doesn't want to risk getting emotionally involved against their better judgment. A warning. A lot more marriages mar-riages could be saved if martial problems were taken seriously sooner. Counseling needs'to be tried sooner. Living with problems prob-lems only makes things worse. It drains motivation from the spouse who wants change. Don't wait until it is too late. For Val Farmer's new book on marriage, "To Have and To Hold," send a check or money order for $14.95 plus $3.95 for shipping and handling for the first book and-$2.00 for each additional ad-ditional book to JV Publishing, LLC, PO. Box 886, Casselton, ND 58012. Val Farmer is a clinical psychologist psy-chologist specializing in family fam-ily business consultation and mediation with farm families. He lives in Wildwood, Mo. and can be contacted through his website. 2007 ThePreston Connection Feature Service safe, morris safe: morris |