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Show Seen Heard THANKSGIVING DAY, when all we can hope for is the breast. And we wish we could get around all the white meat and gravy that we once could. The Pilgrim Fathers landed on Plymouth Rock . . . then probably rushed off to the football game. Hoover was up against a tough proposition just six years ago, trying try-ing to think up things to be thankful thank-ful for, in his annual Thanksgiving Day Proclamation. Newlywed "Hurry and carve the turkey, dear; you know how to do it now." Her Hubby "Yes, but where in thunder is the dotted line?" A Bridegroom can tell when the honeymoon is over ;it's when she starts to complain about the noise he makes getting breakfast. -V. 5k. Lena Genster broke off her engagement en-gagement to the doctor. Every time she got a letter from him she had to take it to Clark Watson, the druggist, to find out what he said. Percy Whiffletree's wife never makes it hot for him when he comes home late for dinner . . . she lets him eat it cold. v "Your wife has been delirious all day," said the nurse, in a worried tone, "calling for you and crying for money." "Hah, snorted the husband. "Delirious, "De-lirious, hell!" .. or. Definitions SPORTSMAN The guy who hunts ducks all day in a heavy storm and comes home drenched, with two ducks in his jacket pocket. pock-et. NUT The gink who plays golf for two or three hours in a gentle shower. "I know the other doctors disagree dis-agree with me on the diagnosis of your case," said the medic, "but the postmortem will prove I am right." A man who dies rich, dies disgraced, dis-graced, says a big Magnate. At least he will die distinguished, declares Dad Gummit. Some women are happy only before be-fore a glass, and some men only after one ... or two. J-'. O'. How to make a fortune Just design becoming frocks for fat ladies. O. Unclassified For sale: Antique chair by old man with hole in back and scratched scratch-ed leg. For Rent: Room with two beds by a young lady that folds up. Lost: Wrist watch by young lady with aluminum hands and non-breakable face. Wanted: A high chair for baby with a cane seat. Definition TWO MAGNETS A blonde and a brunette. Old time "innocent amusements" are still innocent, Dad Gummit says, but they are no longer amusements. amuse-ments. A weapon that will destroy an enemy a thousand miles away has been invented. That would put a general about three thousand miles behind the front. "How did you come out with your suit against the man whose dog bit you? "Not very good. His attorney, j Ellis Pickett, proved that I bit ' the dog." j "I'll tell you the kind of follow my Boy Friend is." said Lena Genster. Gen-ster. "The other night the lights went out. and he spent the rest of the evening trying to fix the fuse." Definition i OLD TIMER One who can re-I re-I member when every motorist wore ! goggles and a linnen duster. percentage of 537 Increase Decrease .21 1.5 99 4 2 5S 6.4 527 1.7 :io 2.8 irl 7.5 7S 9.8 IS! 22 181 1.2 5-42 3.0 106 9.2 48 11-1 4S 12.2 31 24.0 ;4 9.2 5-4 HI 519 13 |