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Show 3hjmhd about The Law's Injustice. SANTA MONICA, CALIF. Had it happened in another an-other country, we'd say, "What curious ideas foreigners foreign-ers have of law enforcement." enforce-ment." A footpad with an evil record held up a victim. A bystander saw the crime, identified the thief. The ruffian was held under indictment, indict-ment, ut he could give bond. The spectator spec-tator was "detained" "de-tained" as a material mate-rial witness a gentle gen-tle way of saying he was locked up, exactly ex-actly as though he had been the crim- inal. Well, he was irvin g. Cobb guilty of being poor. Six months later came the trial. The defendant, having been out all that time on bail, looked hale and hearty. The prosecution's witness was produced under guard, pale and sickly from close confinement. It didn't help his health any when the crook's attorney browbeat him, yelled at him, practically accused him of perjury. The citizen sued the state for false imprisonment, for loss of wages, for separation from his family, fam-ily, for all he'd suffered. Under the statutes he had no standing. They threw his case out. Meanwhile, the convicted crook had been released by the parole board and was free as a bird. Aquatic Novelties. INTERESTING discoveries were A made in Hawaiian waters by government gov-ernment ichthyologists. For fear the similarity of sound may lead to wrong impressions, let me state that this department has nothing to do with Secretary Ickes, although, since ichthyology pertains to fish, Mme. Secretary Perkins might possibly pos-sibly have a contrary view on this point. Because they do say there are moments in the cabinet when all is not sweetness and accord. However, 'the point is that Uncle Sam's piscatorial sharps dredged up a fish that is most delectable for six months of the year, but poisonous the other six months. So at least they've found a creature emblematic emblemat-ic of the California climate. Let this be regarded around here as treason, I will state that I'm as loyal a native stepson as any that ever came out of Iowa, having been here long enough now to join in passing resolutions endorsing the scenery and at intervals uttering three loud ringing cheers for the sunsets. Also let envious Florida refrain from gloating. To typify Florida's climate that fish would be good only four months of the year and powerfully power-fully hard to put up with the rest of the time. Lecturing Adventures. IN ALABAMA is a sect which forbids for-bids its converts to laugh or even smile. Now I know who it was bought out the house when I delivered a humorous lecture down there. The other day a chap asked me why I didn't go back on the lecture platform. I told him I'd appeared in practically every sizable town in America, and, though it was years ago and probably popular indignation indigna-tion had abated now, still I wasn't taking any chances I was waiting for some new towns to be built. Once I tried the experimemt of slipping around to the front door to hear what the crowd said, coming out. That was the night I attempted suicide by gas, but was saved when someone, passing through the hotel corridor, smelled something that smelled even worse than the hotel smelled. A lecturer's lot is not a happy one. But usually it's the audience that suffers most. Eating Oysters. THERE'S a brand new movement called eat-oysters-in-any-month-you-please movement, or, unless you're working on space rates, it may be called E. O. I. A. M. Y. P. M., for short. Its sponsor says the prejudice against eating oysters in months having an "r" in them is a fallacy dating back 2,000 years when, between hiccoughs, a Roman senator said: "Oysters should be eaten only in certain seasons." So it appears we've been penalizing penaliz-ing ourselves ever since then for the indigestion of a Roman senator, although, so far as eating the California Cali-fornia oyster is concerned he runs around forty to the dozen I personally per-sonally could refrain for the whole year without any undue longings. The California oyster- looks something some-thing like a brass overall button suffering suf-fering from vertigris. Still, maybe it's all for the best. Because during May, June, July and August is when the oyster docs practically prac-tically all his courting. There's lit-tl lit-tl enough romance left in the world : and anyhow, who am I to come between an oyster and his love-life? He doesn't seem to have any toe much fun the rest of the time. invix s. cone. Copyright. WNU Scrvirt. |