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Show 1 I A Line o' Type or Two I "Fav cc que voulilras. " I ? f By B. L. T. The Veteran. Ypun? eyes that looked at death with dauntless frown, Facing al! issues squarely, when at bay; Are you the same that carelessly today Laujh at the pictured antics of a clown'.' Younff hands that rammed the ammunition ammuni-tion down The prim gun's breech, now in peaceful play Whack hall with mallet on the lawn (."Croquet Is not too had, with Maude in that mauve gown'.'") Oh, full-grown soul, hid behind boyish eyes! Oh, power-fnr-what, dormant in slim y-ounfr hands! What did you gain in those war-tortured lands? What did you touch? We scarcely can surmise. Brintr vou no message? WiU you tell no story? Eyes hands what got you most of, grief or glory? AXCHUSA. A man in Salina, Kans., received a letter this week which was written by a phi in Gorhani, 200 miles away, more than ten year3 apro. As usual, the dispatch dis-patch fails to say whether, not having heard from the girl, he married tho lady who is at present his wife. On the Other Hand Sir: Burleson's mail service overseas must not have been so bad as painted. In Rupert Hughes's novel, "What's the World Coming To?" a young American officer, whilo absent without leave at Paris, receives in his hotel room a letter from his fiancee in America. E. A. The Gentleman at the Adjacent Desk declined, p. hut f.. to contribute toward the Irish freedom fund. Sezze, "I'm saving my money to help free Brent Dow Allinson." One Good Turn Deserves Another. Pir: That being your favorite motto, and being deeply impressed by Mark Sullivan's suggestion, I offer a few more helpful hints. Wall paper was a great expense in our household until we hit upon the happy expedient of turning it; we peel it off in inch wide strips a pleasant diversion In which all the family fam-ily can engage, and which, during the long winter evenings, saves the price of opera tickets. Hardwood floors may be treated in the same manner; we have discovered that they are scarcely ever worn on the under side. Playing cards and tires may likewise be turned; and moreover we have found that our motor hills have been reduced by using a Franklin for daily service and a Rolls-Royce Rolls-Royce for touring. Trusting that we may be favored by further hopeful thoughts from Messrs. Armour, Sullivan and other Frugal Rich, we are. etc., THE WORMS. We regret to note that the Dean of the Academy, Hon. Jet. Wimp, has been sued for a paltry $129. A subscription wiil be taken up among the Immortals, or. if the Dean prefers, a benefit performance per-formance will be given. Roll Your Own Giggle. (From the Plymouth Democrat.) John Cramer purhased a new model. Ford car Saturday. John has done his share of hard work, and he and his wife expect to share some of the luxuries of life. Doc Evans speaks of being bitten by a hornet, which is quite as unpleasant as being stung by a dog. A hornet that attacked us once nearly took a leg off. "How Did You Tind Your Stek, Sir!" Sir: As an ex-hetman of the dining-car, dining-car, I make haste to enlighten you. Much as we disliked It, the orders were to approach each guest with stereotyped stereo-typed inquiry. Few complained, although in some cases they were justified. However, How-ever, . when a criticism was made it was met by an immediate offer to duplicate du-plicate the' order to the guest's satisfaction, satis-faction, or provide other food. In fact, to placate the passenger; he was allowed to choose anything on the menu rather than have him leave the car dissatisfied. dissatis-fied. This was often taken advantage of bv sophisticated gadders, who, after consuming three chops and a pot of coffee, complained that the former was strong and the latter, weak; whereupon thev reluctnntly accepted another pot of coffee, some chicken a la king, and possibly pos-sibly a salad and desert. Under the old regime this wa.s customary, but I fear the service is not what it was. REFORMED CONDUCTOR. "It is our aim." advertises the Peerless Sash & Door Co., with a candor that compels our unstinted admiration, "it is our aim to make the name 'Peerless' a by-word amongst the building fraternity." frater-nity." Stilly Night Stuff. (From the Warren, Ohio, News.) Miss Cottle, Miss Drennan. Mrs. Nesbit and Mr. Moran motored to Ravenna, when thev were joined by Clarence Benjamin of Cleveland, and they formed a slumber party at the home of Miss Cottle's sister. We knew and we long ago communicated communi-cated the intelligence to you that Bright - Luhring were in business in Delavan, Wis., hut we did not know until this weok that the first name of the junior partner is A.l. A Moral Wave in New Mexico. (From the Silver City Independent.) Tho Cliff Daw and Order league has declared a ban on cheek-to-cheek and Bhimmv dancing and has Issued orders governing local public dances. These rules include the following: Tho man shall place his right hand in the middle of his partner's back, approximately ap-proximately six Inches above her waist. Her left arm shall be on his shoulder, not around his neck. The man's left arm shall be held straight nut nt the side. A "daylight zone" must be maintained between" the dancers. Another member of the famous Ell family. Robert Tourell, has been drawn as a juror in Menomonie, Wis. Abbreviation Is the Soul of Wit. Sir: Kindly enter objections to abbreviations abbre-viations used in your colyum. Some kontrihs use a lot of letters for words and It takes my time guessing what thev mean, if I connect at all. It's all right to use H. C. L.. P. D. Q., N. G., I"). T.'s. C. O. D., O. O. P., and perhaps some others, but if they persist in getting get-ting out of the regular list of abbreviations abbrevia-tions they can g. t. h. EROOM. Mr. Doty of Havana, 111., advertises that he Is a "mortieianer." Mortlcianist would bo a shade more euphonious. A Charlie Hoyt Immortal. (From the Asheville Citizen.) Mr. Wright Guy of Marion, N. C, spent a short while In the city the first part of the week. Song. I ride within a weary land. No moon, no star I see. Yet here and there, on every hand, magic minstrelsy Makes bright the. hour and sweet tho place Tho thought of my helovcd's face. DAURA BLACKBURN'. Fore! Pir: Thero was much nervous excitement excite-ment in our college, and especially at. tho clubhouse, when it was learned that the muscular freshman who waited on table was Edna May Butupus. 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