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Show AUTO SHOW MOTORFLAGE VKRYTI-JTN'C. that cannot be other--J wis? cxnln ined nowadays is laid to ' tle war. Manager Rishel is no exception to the rvde. He boaih- announces on a lug i lack -lettered rhicnr d at the auto show entrance that the reason the admis- , si on is Mo cents is because the manage- , ment stands the war tax. It doesn't , mea n t ha t ymi're going to ft-el iike 30 cents when you get inside, not by a long: shot. The show, is too big and grand a 1 siyht for thai. You will simply forget , about it, juts as if you had left your feeling feel-ing outside. t WHEN one stops to think about the ' " number of belts there are in the cum I ry. one is apt to become somewhat bewildered. Seme of the most handsome passenger cars at the show have belts of ribbon strung around promiscuous-like, Intended, t crimps, to make 'em look more dressed up. 1 hit t lie re a re several other belts- there is the woman's belt. the man's, the south belt and the north belt and mostly tiie storm belt, in which Salt Lake and the auto show seem to be hoveling hov-eling just at present. JACK M'OOOT-IY, who peddles stories an ii other truck for the Inter-Mountain Klectric company to the patient ('eaters ('eat-ers of t'ne city and suburban towns mostly stories tells this one: A St . Louis ha nker came to town one day and. wanting to go out into the conn-tn conn-tn beyond the city'iimils, he bargained with a female jitney driver to take him there and back. "How much will it cost?" inquired the St. Louis financier pleasantly of the fair chaut'feurix. "Kour dollars and ninety -eight--' cents." she sweetly replied, thinking of a cute little lit-tle sport model turban that she had spied in a millinery window t hat morning. "Lallier steep, seems to me.." said the St. Louis uuy, counting ins small change careless Hka.- "Ve have s teep hills out here, you know." demureiy rei lied the fair one. "Lut that's too much," protested the man from M issoui i. " Why, I can get a j car to haul me to Hades and back for ' thai price in fc"t. Louis." "Well, but that's in the city limits, you sec." replied the maid. IT is recorded in the memorv of some of the auto dealers at the show that eighty-six automobile men walked in upon the hi (ioinus last night, between (iaiues. Last year :t was between "drinks." This is sure some safe and sane show. i j B' '.i.N'NK YILLK F A R K is two blocks j nearer this year than it- was at the j time of last yeai's show, and yet it is i i fsr enouuh removed when you ha ve to walk. The auto dealers literally brought the pavilion closer to town. Browning did it by moving down to 570 South Main street. OAt.ESMANAGER WHITE was coasting down Oratory hill last night at frightful fright-ful speed, telling about l he KisselKar to a baby-eyed prospect. He was feeling an unusual urge to barter and worked himself him-self up i'o within three notches of his most eloquent pitch when the lady said: "I. wonder wliv they don't stop those gas leaks." ' x White quit. He felt like quitting, he confided to a friend after the vision had drifted on. 0 ID TH EG BOLD, the United States rubl-er man, looked in at the big show house yesterday. Tiie snow storm reminded re-minded a man of the last time Sid went out selling tires. It snowed a nd then it snowed some more. Finally "Sid" got stuck in the snow and staid in one place , quite a spell, which is something unusual ; of "Sid." No one seems to know why, but "Sid" got out and ran around his car several times. Perhaps he was keeping his feet warm, or perhaps he felt like training a bit for the long hike to town that stared him in the face. "Was 'Sid,' in running around the car. going before himself or" behind himself," asks his friend. That depends. if he was trying to catch up with himself -necessarily he followed fol-lowed himself, and consequently, went behind. be-hind. If, on the contrary, he was running run-ning away from himself, the deduction leads to the very obvious conclusion that he pieeeded himself and was consequently going before. If he succeeded in cstching up with himself and passed himself, at the moment mo-ment of rassing, he neither preceded nor followed himself, but was running even with himself at that precise moment. This is the oniy time "Sid" did not go before or behind himself. m HE "honks' are as peaceful as in-mates in-mates of a deaf and dumb institution. 1 suaily the fog horns at an automobile show are kept busy from morn until night by the spectators. Hut this year there is an ominous silence so far as the shrill hoot of the auto horn is concerned. They push the button who can resist but ttie horn has lost its voice. It don't complain; com-plain; huw can it when the juice has been shut off just for the particular purpose of keeping it from vocalizing, rjON"T forget the big eats, Mr. Dealer U From Out-of-Town. They the local auto manipulators have fixed things up right smart for the festivities at the Hotel Utah. Oh. yes. the menu listen to what they are going to offer: Gasoline cocktail, clutch soup, transmission transmis-sion caviare, universal joint and radiusrod roasts, airless tire sausages and disk wheel steaks, but what's the use You. Mr. Dea ler, hn d better go to the Hotel Utah a nd get in the game as early as possible. It begins at 6:Su sharp. At first there, will be plenty for you. but after the first half -hour this maxim may not hold good. Oh. yes. the dinner committee promises the crank -shafts will not be there. |