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Show Sliort Stories IN THE NATURAL WAY. Cleveland Plain Dealer. A philanthropic person heard of a negro family that was,reported In destitute des-titute circumstances, and, calling at their domicile, found the report true. The family consisted of the mother, a son nearlng manhood's estate and two young children. The benevolent old gentleman, after hearing the mother's story, gave her oldest son $1 to get a chicken for the Thanksgiving dinner and took his departure. de-parture. No sooner was he gone than the negrcss said to her son: "Sambo, you done gib me dat dollar and go get dot chicken in de natchral way." PAT'S EFFORT TO KEEP LENT. "London Chronicle. In an ordinary restaurant a waiter was surprised at being asked with Ireland's Ire-land's Inimitable smile for "divlled whale." "Is It filleted shark that ye have, thin?" pursued the Irishman, on being refused this delicacy. Again receiving a reply In the negative, nega-tive, he tried once more. "Thin ye can bring me some roasted porpoise," he said. The waiter showed signs of becoming becom-ing restive, and Paddy sank back In his seat and heaved a sigh of contentment. "I'll take gome roast beef and vegetables," vege-tables," he said, cheerfully, "and sure ye'll not be for saying that I didn't ask ye for fish." MARIA MITCHELL'S BEER. Boston Herald. Prof. Maria Mitchell, the noted astronomer, as-tronomer, was once ordered lager beer by her physician as a tonic. On the way to visit her sister, Mrs. Joshua Kendall of Cambridge, she stopped at a grogshop and bought a bottle of beer, which she asked her brother-in-law to open for her. The Mitchell family spoke the "plain" language among themselves. "Where dd thee get It, Maria?" questioned ques-tioned her sister. "At the saloon on the corner," replied re-plied Miss Mitchell, serenely. "Why, Maria! Doesn't thee know respectable re-spectable women don't go Into sueh places?" "Oh," said Miss Mitchell, In the manner man-ner of one who has done all that could bo required, "I told the man he ought to be thoroughly ashamed of his traffic." |