| OCR Text |
Show IXKLIAGK. - A negro nrl in Sflma, Alabama, kipi rope with a pailful of water on tier heiti without .spilling a drop. It will cost Phi lad tip hia hall' a million mil-lion dollars for water the coming year. How much lor tin? other fluids U not mentioned. An old lady thinks the Honda must be a family of strong religious iniliucts, because she hears of many of them l:eing converted, . . Train says his platform consists of three planks: The first U to beat Grant; the second, to beat (Jraot; the third, to beat L rant. A woman, who spent her life in gathering rags, at Kort Wayne, Indiana, Indi-ana, recently died and bequeathed her hu.sband -l.ttOO. . It is staled ihat on the lirit of January Janu-ary next Mr. Oeorgc William ('urtis will assume the duties of editor-in-cbief of the New York Times, Seven books on the Chicago lire are now in preparation. The result of everything in these days good, bad and indifferent is a book. A Chicago paper says: "Seventeen feeble periodicals perished teetotally in our fire." 1 1 is certainly an ill fire that burns nobody any good. Courier Journal. The Rel'ian government has just closed the iSpa ''banks," pursuant to the act passed in July last. The Spa gambling brought JMO,0Oi to the Belgian Bel-gian exchequer. A pretty Irish fjirl in New York wants to bo divorced from her Chinese husband, and Ah Yam says: "Welly good; I likee dat; gee me piece paper same as Mehcan man." A little rapscallion undertook once to drown his sister's kitten. "Oh don'1 ; please don't,' ' said Marv. "DauiGdon't," said John. "Well, then," said the girl, weeping, "drown it gently." Ao old lady ave this as hor idea of a great man: "One who is kecrful of his clothes, don't drink spirits, kin read tho Bible without spelling the words, and cat a cold dinner on wash day without grumbling. "Mamma," said a little five-year old, "will papa be up in Ilcavon with all the rest of us, by and by?" "1 hope 1 so, my child; hut why do you ask that question?" "Why, I was afraid he couldn't leave the store." During the tis mouths which ended with September last, ;;,3.")0 pounds of opium were imported at San Francisco alone, paying $194,100 duly. The use of this stimulant is increasing among the Americans as well as the Chinese. A sewage scheme has been adopted by the corporation of Birmingham, Kngland, to exclude injurious matter from the sewers, and to purify the sewage by filtration upon nip area - of 900 acres of land.1 The cost of the scheme is estimated at $1,500,000. A Danbury lady recently visiting Wcthcrslield, asked one of the attendants attend-ants why the prisoners received such ooarse fare, lie told her it was to keep their blood from becoming impure, im-pure, and when she asked liim what they would do if their bloc J was impure, im-pure, he drily responded, "break out." A reverend gentleman was addressing address-ing a school concert recently, and was trying to enforce the idea that the hearts of the little ones were sinful and needed regulating. Taking his watch, and holding it up, he said: "Now, here is my watch; suppose it don't keep good time now goes too fast and now too slow what ihall I do with it ?" "Sell it I" shouted a Ihxcn-headed youngster. |
