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Show There is a lim for all things, bvr never :i timf wlien the boost is out " order. Evidently the fame of Carrie Nation goes before her. as tho kaiser has lak,eu to soft drinks. I.'o doubt the mail carrier finds much fomfort in tho. line, ''Christmas comes but once a year.'' I The half of it having gone "dry," .surely the breaking up of the Solid South has begun in earnest. I Two hundred ' thousand in nineteen ten doesn't, look half as hard to accomplish accom-plish now as it did a year ago. For thw sake of his own peace and comfort, Signor Ferrero will not proceed pro-ceed to denature any of our heroes. I It will be noticed, however, that the ladies are not moving extensively in any effort to secure old-age pensions. While suffragettes demand all the 'rights enjoj'crt by men, they will most likely draw the line at pick-and-shovel privileges. I 'U is assumed, though, that there is no intention to defy tho laws of gravitation grav-itation when a man says that he will ' Mrop up'-' lo sen you. . It is proper to enforco all the laws according to the law, and not in pursuance pur-suance of pretended "tacit understanding" understand-ing" to the contrary I So far as Zipping Zion is concerned, the year uineteen-eight is making a finish in keeping with the glorious progress prog-ress that has marked its entire course. Some scientists claim' that tho world owes much to vivisection; but each of ns would prefer not to pay his individual individ-ual debt with his own particular pound of flesh. I Congressman Champ Clark asserts that, the average woman 's hat costs five dollars. Does tho man intend that other women shall look upon Mrs. Champ with disdain? . ,.Ater having put tho house of his Bpy system in order, doubtless Mr. Roosevelt would search out some bleak .and inviting locality to serve as an American Siberia. ' I Disposition counts for much; and it is as natural for some men to emit the whistle tuneful and cheerful ns it is for others to exude the peevishness dis- cordant and miserable. - ft -If all persons who do not agree with the President are to be sent to jail as jibelers of tho Government, then the sooner Mr. Roosevelt goes into political limbo the better it will be for the whole countrv. I 'l . J i Mr. Ueney, of San JTrancJaco isrne. is . said to be slated for service in the j Kourts of Pittsburg, and it. is likewise noorted that the trans-Atlantic steamship steam-ship lines arc overrun with orders for 'tatcroom reservations, i Professor Hempl, of Stanford University, Univer-sity, claims to have j deciphered ancient inscriptions which go to show that the history of Italy must be greatly modified modi-fied in order to be accurate. Ia the pro; lessor determined to out-Fcrrero Per-lero Per-lero as a measure of retaliation i H Professor Benedict, of the Carnegie. H nutrition laboratory, has produced n H machine wherewith ho says ho can H measure human physical and mental energies. Inasmuch as an inventor views tho product of his thought as a thing to bo given tho tondorcst oare, it is useless to expect that Profossor Benedict Ben-edict will try his machine on Mr. ltooso-vclt. |