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Show !lllll!l!illlllllll!IIIPIII!llllllllll!lllllllllliillllllllW I Breezy's Sneezers liiiiiiiaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiyiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiniw Earlier this year I overheard the representative from the Internal Revenue department repramanding Floyd L. and he said: . "I don't care how many motorists motor-ists are depending on you, you shouldn't have listed them as dependants." U-3 The waitress seeing the customer cus-tomer hesitate to touch the faded and stained menue said: "I have stewed kidneys, fried liver, boiled tongue and pigs' feet." "Don't tell me your troubles," growled Ned, "just give me a hamburger." B-S He: "Can I turn off the hall light?" She: "You may." He: "Can I turn off the ceiling light?" She: "Sure, James." He: "Can I turn off the bridge lamp?" She: "Why Yes Jimmy." He: "Now that it's dark in here, can I ask you a question?" She: "Yes, dear." He: "Do you think this luminous necktie is worth two bucks?" B-S Wife: "Darling, I always worry when you're away from me." Hubby: "But, darling, I'll be back before you know it." Wife: "That's what worries me, darling." B-S I nearly ran over a pedestrain a few minutes ago and I think he was from Miami. How do you know he was from Miami? Well', when he reached the sidewalk, side-walk, I heard him say something about the sun and the beach. B-S REJUVENATED The colonel' inspecting a new group of draftees was somewhat astonished to find a graybearded old gaffer standing conspicuously among the smooth-faced youngsters. young-sters. "Tell me, Dad," he asked, "how do you happen to be here?" "Well, sir," he replied, "I happen hap-pen to have a twin sister who, like all women, is sensative about her age. Everyone in town knew we were twins. Now I don't rightly right-ly know what age she was giving out but here I am!" DC Employer: Why did you leave your last job? Applicant: Illness. Employer: What sort of illness? Applicant: My boss said he was sick of me. B-S BROADLY SPEAKING Miss Visit Don't you think that traveling brings out all that is in one? Sea Captain: Yes indeed, especially es-pecially ocean travel. B-S Orlie: May I have the afternoon off to go shopping with my wife? Cliff: No. Orlie: Thanks ever so much. B-S The man entered a taproom, ordered a double scotch, downed it, then walked straight up the wall', across the ceiling, down the opposite wall and out the door. "That's very strange," remarked remark-ed one of the men standing at the bar. "Yes, it is," said the bartender. "He usually orders bourbon." B-S "Did you have a good time with the Siamese twins?" "Well, Yes and' no." Case Dismissed The lawyer had gone into a spasm of great oratory in defense of his client- He argued that his client had not broken into a house, as he found the door of the house open and just reached in and taken a few things. Winding up his case, he said, "So you see, your honor, it was not my client who entered the house, but only his arm. Now, since his arm is not all of the individual, in-dividual, it would be foolish to punish the whole man, don't you think?" "The attorney for the defense has shown good judgement in presenting pre-senting his case," acknowl'eged the judge, "And for the most part I agree. Therefore, I shall now sene-ence sene-ence the defendant's arm only to one year's hard labor. The defendant de-fendant may or may not accompany accompa-ny his arm, as he sees fit." Everyone in the ' courtroom laughed until the defendant, with the aid of his lawyer, unscrewed his cork arm and laid it on the lable, then walked out. B-S EXPLAINED Ann Sometimes you seem so manly and other times absurdly effeminate.. Why is it? Dwain Heredity. You see, half my ancestors were men and the other half women. |