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Show 1 1 l j ; j i 4!" . n: TTeim flD'OoDdk h ,f , J 1 by David Fleisher f f" """ 1 "IVVVI " J Apartment archaeology j Spring is one of my favorite times of the year; it's when I go on my annual rampage through my apartment, throwing things away. I don't like collecting things, but I do it anyway. There must be some sort of psychological reason for it. I have things that have absolutely no present-day present-day value whatsoever. The rampage began- over the f weekend, and I figure it will last about a week or so. I already got rid of a lot of j merchandise I think my apartment i weighs at least fifty pounds less. I kept S a diary when the rampage started : ; "Here's an old sock I haven't used in months, and there's a towel I thought I ! threw away last year. Can both of them. ! "Deposit slips. The dates on some of them are 1982 and 1983. Why are they S still here? These deposits have already ; been spent. They're of no use to me or . I to anyone else in the world. "Here's a note: 'Call Sylvia.' Who is Sylvia? Did I call her? If I did, what did I say? I know a Sylvia who lives in Alabama. She's my aunt. But I haven't talked to her in a long time. It's my own handwriting. I wrote myself a note to call someone I don't even know? Can it. "Here's a tie. It's an ugly tie, and i i I've never worn it. Someone must have given it to me as a gift. It's been around for months, maybe even years. Can it. "Another note: 'Pick up clothes at laundromat.' The date is November, 1983. 1 must have picked up the clothes by now. I probably had this ugly tie . cleaned. I'll just throw away the note and tie together. "What's that in the closet? Oh. A pillow. I've never used that pillow. Why do I keep taking this pillow around with me in life? I have other pillows; I don't need this one. I'm tired of looking at it. Why didn't I can it last spring? Can it now. "Another note: 'Pick up kleenex at Alpha Beta.' I've got plenty of kleenex, I don't need any more. If I do, I'll write a note. Can it. "Here's an interesting note: 'Buy plane ticket, then go to Hawaii.' I must have been delirious when I wrote this! I remember buying a plane ticket, but I didn't go to Hawaii. I went to Denver for a family wedding. Since I still want to go to Hawaii, I think I'll keep this note. "Here's some string. You always need string to tie two or more things together. My grandfather told me that when I was growing up. I'd better save the string. I wish I knew where to put I it, so it wouldn't be in the way. "Here's a shoe. Whose shoe is that? It's not mine, it doesn't fit. Maybe I'll take it to the lost and found. Forget it, 1 nobody wants this shoe. Can it. ' "Here's a cookbook written by Julia Child. It hasn't been used very much; in fact I don't think I've ever used it. I haven't cooked for months. I'll save it. It's a nice book. "A brochure for a trip to Greece and Turkey! I want to go on this trip. Looks like a lot of fun. Oh. They already went; it happened last year. But I heard there's another trip to Greece and Turkey this year. This brochure, though, would be dated. I'll just throw this brochure away, and get another one. "Here's a legal pad with notes on it: 'buy shaving cream, buy soap, throw out garbage, go to the bank, clean car, call Jeremy'.. .Who's Jeremy?. ..'get new typewriter ribbon, fix rear window win-dow in car, get toothpaste, play racquetball at 4 p.m., call Sam.' "Can the entire legal pad. "Here's a little note I'm going to pin . on the wall; hopefully, it will be around -for many springs to come: 'Write Ten O'Clock Whistle.'" As I walk up Main Street I hear the Ten O'clock Whist lo. |