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Show O: TTeun n90nelk WDnfisitfle I'flftWHIffllff' "111111 HI Illl l-liftlhllflflllllllillimMmMMll'lililllllillllHII y y-w - f by David Fleisher Here's a way to spice up those tedious public hearings I enjoy going to public hearings and listening to people , rant and rave about this or that. Public hearings are also important because they give us residents and taxpayers a chance to tell our city officials how we feel. Of course some public hearings are hiore interesting that others. For example, public hearings on a garbage dump in Brown's Canyon or a new sewer connection for ; the Snyderville Basin Sewer Improvement District may require a few cups of coffee just to make it through the first few minutes. However, if you like talking about garbage dumps or sewers, you can go to these hearings and give it your best shot. Recently, Park City's comprehensive master plan has been the subject of public input sessions (a less formal phrase for public hearings), and some of the things people said were interesting; on the other hand, some of it was dreadfully boring. Some people just don't know when to stop talking, and they keep making the same point over and over again. And city council members have to sit up there in the front of the room and pretend they're interested. They can't even take a nap, or tell the person to shut up because then they would be accused of not caring about the people they represent in office. I won't mention any names, but there was one person in attendance at the last two public input sessions on the comprehensive plan who gave new meaning to the word boring. He pontificated to the city council about the importance of Park City's future, as if the council wasn't already aware of it. I was surprised at how courteous council members were; they didn't throw one egg at this pontificator. I would' ve probably taken him to the nearest garbage dump and let him pontificate there for a while. Usually, public hearings are designed to focus on only one subject, and a lot of them are land-related (dumps, sewers, etc.). But I think most people have more on their mind, and they'd like to release pent up frustrations in a formal setting. What could be more formal than the city council? What I'm proposing is a public hearing on anything. That's right, anything. Whatever you want to say, stand ' , up and belt it out to your elected official. You want to talk about taxes, talk about taxes. You want to talk about washing clothes at the laundromat, talk about washing clothes. You want to talk about your sex life, talk about your sex life. I think this diversified format for public hearings would tend to make them more interesting. Consider the following possibilities: Concerned Citizen : The laundromat is too far from my house; it's too far to drive to every Saturday. Would you build one closer to where I live? Councilman: Til check the Land Management Code and see what it says. Concerned Citizen: I'm also having problems with my wife. She likes to stay up late at night and I can't go to sleep at a reasonable hour. Councilman: I don't know if there's a provision in the ' Land Management Code about that, but I'll certainly check. Concerned Citizen: My wife also wants me to take her to Hawaii this winter, but I can't afford it. What shall I do? Councilman: There's nothing in the Code about that. Why not take her to Los Angeles instead. There are a lot of nice beaches down mere. Concerned Citizen : What size skis should I buy? I'm an intermediate skier. Councilman : Go see a ski instructor. Concerned Citizen: Should I use Tide or Cheer for my wash? Councilman : Ask your wife. Concerned Citizen: I can't. She'll start talking about Hawaii again. Councilman: Does anyone else have anything to say? Concerned Citizen: I think my wife is having an affair with a hairdresser from California. Councilman: The Land Management Code doesn't address that issue. Concerned Citizen: That's why I can't got to Los Angeles this winter; I think he lives down there. Councilman : How about Mexico? Concerned Citizen: I'm allergic to Mexico. Councilman : Does anyone else have anything to say? Concerned Citizen: I think my wife is also having an affair with the next-door neighbor. Councilman: Who else? Concerned Citizen: I don't know who else. I only know about the hairdresser from California and the next-door neighbor. Councilman: I mean, who else wants to say something? Concerned Citizen: Maybe I'll poison my wife's drinking water tonight. Councilman: Murder is a capital offense. Concerned Citizen: My wife is a capital offense. Councilman: How about nightly rentals? Does anyone have anything to say about nightly rentals? What about Hillside developments? Anything, anything at all? What about snow removal? One-way traffic on Main Street? Bus schedules? Concerned Citizen: I'd like you to put my wife on the next bus and send her to Ethiopia . Councilman: Well, that should wrap up this week's public input session. If anyone else has anything to say next week, don't hesitate to let us hear from you. As I walk up Main Street I wish I could hear the Ten O'Clock Whistle. |