| OCR Text |
Show 9X ' THE BINGHAM NEWS ' :. v'-y- : .0..m COMIC SECTION f I FairyTal&L Bonner ifBr PIGS' AMBITIONS "Grunt, grunt," snld Brother Bncon, "some people are queer. "They are al- - J ways worrying about something or other. Now we do not worry. "We do not ay : " 'We w o n d e r what it will do to-rn o r r o w and whether It will rain or be line. "We do not plan picnics, and so we do not think ahead, nor do we plan anything. "A picnic would never go In pig Food It Bliss. Irch for when the children give picnics I hear the different ones saying what they will take to the picnic. "Now fancy a pig wanting tc take along something for someone else! "Hut they worry about so many things people do! They wonder If they are going to pass their examina-tions and If they are going np Into an-other grade the next year. "What do they want to go up Into another grade for when they were all right In the one they were In? "Do you suppose I'd want to go np Into a higher mud patch when I have such a nice one here? Mercy, no; I'm too Renslhle. "And then people worry for fear someone will not like something they have snld. Why don't they Just grunt and squeal and If no one else like It well, let them go on grunting and squealing and pleasing themselves. "1'eople will fret that maybe they won't he famous later on. "They want to he great and to have others admire them and say to them: " 'My dear young man, or, my dear young woman, or my dear boy or my dear girl, you deserve the great suc-cess which has come to you, and I, for one, congratulate you.' "I've even heard them making up Imaginary speeches which may be snld to them some day. "They have so much ambition. And then they are always looking ahead. "When they get older they will do or when the summer comes they will have a good time, or next week when there Is to be a party they will enjoy themselves. I'That Is the way they talk. I hear tlJbm ! "Hut though they look down on pigs I think I could give them some good advice. Why don't they follow the ex-amples set by pigs? "They'd doubtless be much shocked at such a suggestion. Rut we don't look ahead that la, not unless food Is coming our way. "But we don't look days and weeka and months and even years ahead. "We live In the present. Look at ns, and you will see how free from worry we are! "We're not bothering ourselves over lessons; we're not trying to be great; we're not hoping to be famous or suc-cessful or rich or anything! "We're Just pigs, happy, contented, grunting, squealing pigs. "To have our backs scratched Is Joy, and food Is bliss. Why strain after great things almost out of reach? "They say pigs have no ambitions. And It Is true. But we have ambitions In this way: "We are ambitious that no worry should come to us, no bother, no effort ; we're ambitious to lead our nice, lazy, muddy lives In perfect greedy, muddy peace In the barnyard. "You may say that these are not am-bitions and that we cannot be peaceful and greedy. But we have our own ways and If we do not become as famous or as wise as people do, at least we save ourselves a lot of fretting Right.'" " and worrying which they do. Grunt, Grunt, and that's the truth."' , "Sqnenl, squeal," said Brother Ba-con's mother. "My child Is right, lie Is a wise child, a sensible pig son." WOMEN1 BEWARE! REFUSE IMITATIONS Warnlnfll Not All Package Dyi Are "Diamond Dyes." Always ask for "Diamond Dyes" and .If you don't see the name "Diamond Dyes" on the package refuse It haud it back I Each paekngc of "Diamond Dyes" contains directions so pimple any woman can dye or tint skirts, dresses, waists, sweaters, stockings, kimonos, coats, draperies, coverings everything new, even If she has never dyed before. Choose any color at drug store. Itefuse substitutes I WOMEN QF MIDDLE AGE Read How Mrs. Walsh Wat Helped by Taking Lydia E. Pinkham Vegetable Compound Mannington, West Virginia. 'I toolt the Vegetable Compound when having V 1 years, I would get t? - J a little better, then ' I broke down again. i J - It would be hard for - r 1 J me to describe how A-- 5 ill 1 waa for 1 wfts lit ' . IM perfect wreck. I I V il III auffered with a pain "II.'V' lM in my left side, then K M J j I would have numb ijj spells and I would I think 1 couldn't live. 1 would have hot flashes, then would come weak spells. I was so weak I would think I couldn't ever get a meal ready. My work was a burden to me. ' I waa not able to do my housework half of the time. A friend advised me to take Lydia E. I'inkham's Vegetable Compound, and it has given me strength and health. The hot flashes left me and I got better of the numb spells. That summer I could do my housework and worked in the garden a good bit I tell all sick women what your wonderful medicine did for me, and will always recommend it I waa born in Marion County and still live in it I am known to all my neighbors, and you can pub-lish this statement because it is true. " Mrs. John W. Walsh, R. No. I, Box 26, Mannington, West Virginia. Cuticura for Pimply Facet, To remove pimples and blackheads smear them with Cuticura Ointment. Wash off in five minutes with Cuti-cura Soap and hot water. Once clear keep your skin clear by using them for dally toilet purposes. Don't fall to In-clude Cuticura Talcum. Advertisement A Standard External Remedy of known value- - safe and effective. It's "Allcock's" the original and gen-uine porous plaster. Adv. fl Imitations may j I be dangerous A IMlri (rucJu JuvmJuy SAY "BAYER" when you buy-$0m- foe Unless you see the "Bayer Cross" on tablets you are not getting the genuine Bayer Aspirin proved safe by millions and prescribed by physicians 23 years for Colds Headache Neuralgia Lumbago Pain , Toothache Neuritis Rheumatism I . fjtfp Accept only "Bayer" package &PAlAiilAfZS which contains proven directions. . JlS' Handy "Bayer" boxea of 12 tablet ' AUo bottles of 24 and 100 Druggist. Ajplrla tht trad mat of Bam lluaftctu of UmMoMlcteUaiter ( BillcrUcscM "CASCARETS" FOR LIVER ANDBOWELS-I- Oc A BOX Cures Biliousness, Constipation, Rick Headache.Indlgestlon. Drug stores. Adv. Nothing Better for Constipation than one or two Brandreth Pills at bed time. They cleanse the system, purlfj the blood and keep you welL Adv. Children Cry for "Castoria" A Harmless Substitute for Castor Oil, Paregoric, Drops and Soothing Syrups No Narcotics! Mother! Fletcher's Castoria has Food; giving natural sleep without been In use for over 30 years to relieve opiates. The genuine bears signature oi babies and children of Constipation, Flatulency, Wind Colic and Diarrhea; Immmml0 allaying Feverishness arising there-- Sfjy t & from, nnd, by regulating the Stomach tZ7r --CCCCAit and Bowels, aids the assimilation of pleasant ways tTwo a cough fpM your choice and suit S?''"T taste. S B or Menthol (Cy-- A sure relief for coughs, x'jff ''T and hoarseness. Put one yf'JJ f In your mouth at bedtime. ''t tSAoi Alw&yt keep m box on hand. maiuS SMITH BROTHERS &i C0PE0PS Kind Boss Flint Olllce Hoy What did your boss say when you asked him for a raise? Second Onlce Hoy Told me I could wash the windows on the seventeenth floor. Events in the Lives of Little Men J 11 MMIIffliW lillllfill ? jlfrf3k'l t.Stl I j 1 wWn'u XI 2 U 'fill i' i r vj: wi t jrwU rS iiw A m i'AnlM ' 1 Heavy Stuff PaJ Miss Notes can hardly curry a tune. Lay Well, she always sings very heavy stuff. Chaparral. Simpler Than That "I say, Tom, are you ever troubled with sleeplessness?" "I am, Some nights I don't sleep three hours," replied Tom. "I pity you, then," remarked BUI. "I've got It awfully bad. I've been aflllcted now for about two years. The doctor calls It 'neurlo insomnia para-laxltls.- '" Tom grunted and said: "I've had It about six months; but wa call It a baby. When a woman of thirty loikB Into the future It appears as brief as a rabbit's tall. Good Logic haT juST Give I WELL , WHAT'S The f. "f"',-l- 3 a ailS That 5cCk matter with it ? " ieS, But who ever oh NONEnsE ("'' HEARD OP SEWlli'uP I IT IN THE - Ga TmBw A BLACK WITH I HEEL AMD .T CEM.ND YOU GREY ThGEAD fe WON'T Shomu- - ThaT 'cb i & Cj y "fl Wctrn Nfw.pnpTl'nloTil ' l VHtl1 Hopele$$ Hoyle What! A bachelor yet? Doyle Yes. I'm looking for a girl Who can love, honor and obey. No Clock Needed h , Mrs. Bluke So this is your UttU angel. Doesn't a baby liven up a ' household wonderfully? r Mrs. Drake Yes, Indeed. We aln'J had a wink of sleep since the Uttla darling arrived. A prince or a king can always say to the people: Whatever I am, you made me so. 111 treatment curdles the milk ol human kindness. Well, Not Exactly Playing !& ) NOU GET FORI OKI I I . sQXu PlaviuGt 00 1 UOOK LIKE SfoJ L f) pin Union JjW(e ' ... J ii J I The investigator A small boy came hurriedly down the street, and halted breathlessly In front of a stranger who was walking In the same direction. "Have you lost naif a dollar?" he asked. "Yes, yes, I believe I have!" snld the stranger, feeling Jn his pockets. "Have you found one?" "(tli, no," said the hoy. "I Just wnnt to find ont how many have been lost today. Yours makes 55, I believe." Question of Thrift A little Brookllne girl who hnd been to Sunday school rather shocked her mother by Inquiring: "Mamma, what became of Lot's wife after slie was turned to stilt? Do you suppose her husband took her home and used her In the cooking?" Boston Tran-script. |
