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Show i.ii ki na' uhbt rrronr. "You never ran tell what kind of a fhot you'ro going to get from tho crowd when you're campaigning." aaid I "Juke" Kemple, a veteran "apell- I binder." nt the Fifth Avenue Hotel tho other night. "Tha Hluto committee gout a kid apeaker along wllh me In Htnnton street Inat October. It wua a trying out proreaa for the youngater, a atu-dent atu-dent In Columbia and the ton of a rich lawyer. Juat for fun, call him Kllm-klna. Kllm-klna. Rllmklna wore a long I'rlnra Albert eoat, und over that a light, Miort. full overcoat that lin ken ntioui aeven Inrhea of covering the I'rince AlberL Add to thla a akyn raper collar, col-lar, a pair of light coloicd tun glovet and a plui lint, and you have a line on Hllmklna' g. tup. Tbo chairman of the cart tall meeting knew me, ntid at anon aa I hove In tight with Hllmklna lie got hold of nin and aabl' ' 'Hny, Jake, w.it'a dla yer tprlngln' on ua. If de gang glta after ilia pli tur pinto wunst deyil make li I ill look llko flrty centa.1 "I aalil I ciiikh.mI the young fellow wouldn't miike nny bad break, but tho chairman looked npprebentlvely at hi m and at hla line clotlna. It waa arranged that my college friend ahould follow the chiilrmun. who made a gid thort tnlk. When Hllmlilna got up ho waa badly rattled, but bo removed hla overcoat, touicd hit gluvet Into hla tall hat, and aald: " 'Fellow-i Itlient and Itcpiibllcnna of the FlftmMilh Aaxcmhly Hlatrlrt: The aw laauea of the campaign aw have aw been an fully promulgn- tod aw by the gentleman who hut Juat apoken aw aw-that 1 aw a hardly know what to talk about." '"Talk about a half-mlnuto 'n' aot down, an' let the fat lobster apake bla piece." aald a l.ourae-volced man on the far edgo of the crowd. "That aettled Hlliiiklna," added Mr. Kemple, "Ho aeemed to shrivel up. Soon hla abort light overco it faded away In the dnrkneaa toward the Bowery. Bow-ery. The fut Inhaler referred to waa rnyielf, and I hud a hard time getting ttarted. I told the State commltteo about It alterwnrd, and Hllmklna wna scratched off the epenkore Hat" New York Tribune. gr.va Tinwa or WOMIIW. Ha la a fool who tbliika, by force or aklll, to turn the current of a woinan'g will. Samuel Tuke. Tha miait beautiful object In the world. It wl'l bo allowed la a b-autlful woman. Macnitlny. If the heart of a man It depressed with carta, tha mist la dispelled when a wotnnn appcara. (iuy. Lovely woman, that ranted our can, cun every care beguile. llerca- ford. Ituptured nino qnlta enrh doting ango. Oh. woman, for thy lovelier page . Vooro. Klndiieaa In womun, not their bnau-teoua bnau-teoua lookt. thnll win my love. Shakeapenro. Mi aritioi s iiAMAoie. Drulny Uowora ''Do rrulfa a-comln' all right, an' l'spoao mo biographer when he cornea to write mo life 'II auy de poaltlon was critical, but dat's a lie. 'Canto I Just do de lightsome aklp an" don turn round an' aee de tun. i"lt'a deae little eililhltlona o" mind-power mind-power what mukea me Clult dat pr'apa I oughter Incorporate meself aa a company com-pany an' give da world at large de benefit of me brains." Aa Mice a hum A wire. "Have you considered all that I have aid, my boyT" aaked the old gentleman gentle-man tha day after he had given hl on a little fatherly advice. "Yea, futher," replied the young man meekly. "You are getting near the age at which a young man naturnlly beglnt to look around for a wife, nnd I don't want you to make a mistake." "TU try not to, fa: her." "No butterfllci of fimhlon, my boy, but a girl of ome solid worth: one who baa some practical accompllth-menta" accompllth-menta" "Yea, futher " "Never mind the pluno'pluying and PeUarte lesions; naucr mind the dancing danc-ing and the tuiall talk. When you tlnd flrl who can conk, my boy, It will be time to think of marrying. When yo find a girl who can make up her own bed. knows how to ct the table without forgetting something. Is ble to put toy the preaervea. and. above H, la good at aewlng. go In and vln bar, my boy, and you will bave my bleating. " "I have resolved, father, to aJt inch a wife aa you describe," said the young man with determination. "I see the folly of aceklng a wllo In aoclety. I will go Jin an Intelligence otTlie thlt afternoon and see If 1 can And one that will aiikwer. And then I'll have mother cull on her. and-and '" 'Young mnn. I ll break your nock tn about a minute'" "llm you enld " "Never mind whnt I sold. I've changed my nilnd " - lalle' Weekly. TIIK fc KPTIOtt. f"Vl ' l It "Sny, Dili. tbero' one of them pad-ded-up dudes. Look nt hl coltoa houldora! Lol a go an' Intuit him." "See here, mister, you ougbtor gtt Into a muaeum at de prlia glutted dood." "Holpl Buy, how could we know that them ahouldera wu realT" M A UK I'r-TII-OATti. A teacher In a public acliuol up In tho Hundreds tella this: "In one of my claaaea," abe aald, "wn a young woman who hnd a way of applying modern Ideua to old ub-Jecls ub-Jecls which now and then smuahod an Idol. On ono urcaalrn I asked hnr to wrltoon exercbe ouvuny ruin he might elect. The next duy abe brought In tbo following: " 'If thou would'st vlow fnlr Wolroue nrlght Take a kodak and visit It by daylight." Thla prompted another In tuo data to turn In this: " 'In Venice Tai.o'g trhooa are no more, And silent rowt the ongleai gondolier, gon-dolier, Hut nt the quay he ploys the mandolin To ragtime music, not by nolo, but ear "The young women evidently thought they had atruck a rich mlue In my auggeatlon, for at the neit cull one of them handed In this; ' ' 'Tie eweet to hear the Dachshund in the dark Whine welcome aa we draw near home, sweet home. TU nice to know the Dachthund dootn't bark Or make unseemly racket when we come.' "Well, I taw I had made a mistake, and Immediately informed the claaa that It might In the future confine Ita rtimlnatlnua to ecouee on Manhattan." Now York Sun. LAiiiiiirra. 9mm or the Ulbtr. "That aoclal rofonner boa a very pectacular way of presenting some extraordinary ex-traordinary theories." "Yea. The mnn la either posing or supposing all the time." Wathlngton Star. lie Fall Hie nUsraca. I see alnce Packman hua been employed em-ployed on tho yellow Journal, bla tathor hue refuaed to recognlte him." "Indeed! What doet hla father dot" -Ho aervlng a life term at Slog Slug." Life. A lark of Calarllr. "Don't you think that a public rota ahould devote himself to atudy ot hla country'a history and Ita present needs." "Well." antwered Senator Sorghum, "all that la Interesting. Hut It la mighty alow way to get office."-Wathlngton Star. |