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Show t'holly-'Mlli. do loll me. Miss Klhel. ' I'm Just dying to know!" Klhel f "Then Til never tell you." Chicago News. I "lines the weather agree with you?" t "Solilel lines, but inure often not. Yon F see, I'm the olllohil w en I lie r prophet." J Judge. Visitor to Jail "Why are you here?" I Prisoner (a pickpocket) "I am here at ' a result of a moment of abstraction." Kt. Louis lilobo Democrat. "lie's a klnd henrlcd Btilomoblllst, isn't he?" "F.ioeptlnnnily so. I never knew hint In inn over oven a child, uu Iras be wns lu a hurry." Lite. "Iler biishnnd Is absolutely worthless." worth-less." "How enn you sny thai? II Isn't nt all well, nml hla life's Insured for f SSMI."-Clillnde!phla Hulletlii. The wireless telegrsin has been J Ths subject of mm h sons, I Ami now we think ths tune is ripe I 'lo Rieet the pmsless Hng. r Judge. "Hla world would go nlong mighty easy." anld I note Kbeii, "If every mail mold be ns smart at forty Bee as ha thought he wns nt twenty live." Wash. Ingloii Hlar. "I want your diiuuhtor," said lho young iniiti aggressively. The old nisn was shrewd. "Have you got her?" ho ssked. "I hnve." "Then take her."-" i Chlcngn Cost. When tlpportiimlr Lnrxlied at .' His door, lis ssol. "I will I Not let hint in; I lliink it is I hoins teliuw with s lull." t Inihaiispalia Bun, I "Thnt little minnow," suld tho flrsl j fish, "seems to have got a big opinion of himself all of a sudden." ' Jos," re. , plied the other, "he uinuiigod to wriggle off a bis, k this morning, and then heard the lislieriunii bragging about bis slxe." VUiluiUiiiiliUs I'imss I'm srniiil it wraa't do st all." snld the mngiisuis editor, us he torsed the . . story aside. "It a a iiingnlllccnt atory, ' but " The expectant author atood trembling ns ho bung on ths words. "Hut It's at least three panes long, anil I fear It will instruct attention from the sdverllsenieiits!" Iliilllmore News, "I am selling a new cyclopedia," begun be-gun the well-dressed mall, who bsd been ushered lulu the recepllun room on the strength of his makeup. "Would yuu care to look at It?" "Tulnt no use," replied Mrs. Neiirlcli. "I'd break my neck If I ever attempted to rldo one of them fool things." Chicago Chi-cago News. It la told of a learned professor, who was better In Oreek thnu golf, thnt after af-ter a round ou the links, lu which ba hnd fooslrd moat nf hla allots, he turned ' lo his cuddle fur advice as to Improving f bis plsy. The reply of t lie ruthless csd. die was: "Ye sou. sir, It's essy to teach laddies Latin and (lieok. but It needi s t head for gowH."-Tlt lilts. |