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Show THE HORNING AFTER WHY NATHAN BEESWAX JOINEO TEMPERANCE RANKS. Graphic Description of Sensations After a Night "With the When Ice Water Tasted Boys Uko Ambrosia and Nectar. "Fellow citizens, I'm sick, said Nathan Beeswax to a circle of "There was too much refreshment circulating last evening. I began with beer, shifted to old Pepper, finally worked my way round to Hamm's extra dry and then went oil In a trance When I woke up this I thought I was somebody morning " else. I caught a glimpse of my reflection In a mirror and my face You frightened me bo I screamed cant Imagine how I felt, because I broke the record of misery No man ever did feel like I did and live reached for the Ice pitcher and took a gulp. For a minute 1 thought I was In heaven. That water tasted like ambrosia and nectar Thirsty? Dont ask me trivial questions. The temperature In my system was so high that my breath set my mustache on fire. It was completely destroyed No in surance. I made four efforts to get oet of bed before I realized the fatuous futility of essaying the Impossible I moaned in my agony. I was hot one minute and cold the next, while a clammy and continuous perspiration added interest and enjoyment to the proceedings. Every little while strange rigors would seize me and when 1 finally dropped into a fitful slumber I dreamed that an alligator was lying beside me and fanning me with bis No. 'long red tongue. Nightmare? sir; this was an alligator. Holler? JWhy, Ill bet four dollars they heard 'me yelling on Edlsto island. Now hearken to me: Nathan Beeswax, as a booze comedian. Is no more. Ive Are joined the Apollinarls brigade you on? How did you happen to accumulate such a riotous Jag, Mr. Beeswax? asked one of his auditors. Well, the material was available, my boy, and the time somehow seemed to be oppbrtune. I bad been unhappy Tor several weeks and I yearned for the company of a few frolicking sensations. I wanted to feel glad, as It were, and forget about a bet I madd on a horse lat week that stopped in the stretch and asked for water. I opened the performance with beer, but I soon came to the conclusion that If I wanted to experience that joy which passeth all understanding I would have to switch. So I chased n iwhisper across the bar and a bottle of crimson fluid connected with my (good right haadv Ere long 1 was toq merry for anything, "My money also began to annoy me. I couldnt spend lt fast enough and wben I met a stranger from Mount Pleasant I asked Ihim If he would allow me to give him !10. He said he would oblige me with pleasure, but hed like me better if gd make it $20. The suggestion pleased me so that I wept from sheer i joy and handed him the 20. I was now at the champagne stage of the jjgame and the rapids were just below vime. I vaguely remember meeting a (longshoreman and asking him who his xavorito poet was, but I cant recall (what he said. - Shortly afterward the automatic piano, began to play ,The .Holy City1 and when the instrument note my reached that wool slipped out of its socket and I passed away. But this morning dont worry, I wont go over It again. Hereafter address your letters to me In care of the Total Abstainers society. Are you on? Then break away! Charleston News and Courier. 1 THE PASSION FOR OAVSLINC, Excitement, Not Lust for G.n, le th ' Desire One of the most thoroughly in i grained passions in (he kun an race is ke desire to gamble, not the crude wish of the ignorant man to get something for nothiug, but the eager and brilliant hued expectation of the man f experience to risk some possession of his against some part of his neighbors goods. In the hope of becoming by this meant the possessor of both. And that this is by no means to be confounded with mere lust for money Is proved by the prevalence of this feeling among very kb men, to whom the acquisition of a few hundreds of thousands of dollars cannot by any possibility bring added comfort or enjoyment. It is in the conttt,t of his brain against another's, the placing of his army in the field to t apture or be captured by his opponents, that the lover of gambling takes his delight. Such a passion is as often seen In a little gutter-snip- e risking his pennies with another gamin at craps as it is in the financier- - twisting the market Into a corner to squeexe the last cent out of his opposing acquaintance on the other side of the movement. Wnters on economics almost without exception fail to grasp this idea, and point out the folly of gambling to Us devotees on the ground that the money gained is almost invariably rpent in a reckless fashion, and that the confirmed gambler is thus eventually bound to lose. They do not see that it is the excitement of the contest, the emotional thrill caused by the conflict, that 1b more frequently desired, not the gain of a certain amount of money. gray-haire- Disappointment That Seemed to About Equally Divided. Melville E. Stone, so long the head of the Associated Press, tells a story of Gen. George A. Sheridans encounter with an audience In an Illinois town where he was scheduled for an address. Through a local printer's mistake, it seems, the populace had been led to expect Gen. Phil Sheridan. When the audience assembled, the bigwig of the community Introduced the speaker after this fashion: Ladies and Gentlemen Permit me present Gen. Sheridan not Gen. Phil Sheridan, whom we expected to hear, however. Let us hope, though, that our Visitor may say something to make us forget our disappointment." Gen. Sheridan was boiling with rage, but showed no trace of it in face or manner as, bowing to the big gathering, he began as follows: Ladles and Gentlemen I was fed to- - bollav. tbev. I -- faouta. xw, progressive, .cuitwrea city,' and can hardly express' my astonishment In finding what Is little better than a mud-holwhose people seem to bear no mirks indicative of mental brightness or culture. Still, Ill do the best can. Where Life Is Too Easy. d band-leade- ' f ;fX.e m -- ,V: I t v'l v . , ... r11 TEST v I FOOD VALDES W I EXPERIMENT AT KANSAS AGRI CULTURAL COLLEGE. Much Value te the Cattle Raieers Warming Drinking Water Is Absolutely Necessary in Successful Feeding. Facts Learned Are of ( y ; If' rfPyl yA't y m the Tatter part, of Octobvl90Q Kansas experiment station pul the feed lots 120 head of calves They had just been weaned. were divided Into lota, to test the value of alfalfa hay, prairie hay, corn, Kafir corn and aoy beans la tbe production ot baby-beef- .Sixty head of heifers were purchased In the Kansas City stockyards, weighed an average of 411 pounds each, cost 14.25 per hundredweight at the yards, and cost aa average or $18 25 per head delivered to the college feed lots. These were range calves grade Shorthorn, Hereford and Angus. Fifty head were purchased of farmers near Manhattan, and had been kept with their dams through the summer In email pastures. Twenty .head were mixed bred calves that had been purchased around Manhattan when born, and bad been raised by the college by hand, ten being raised on creamery skim milk and ten on whole milk. The calves were vaccinated to prevent blackleg. Without this safeguard we would not have dared to undertake this, experiment The calves were fed seven months. At the close of the experiment. May 800 27, the entire lot averaged pound per head In the college feed lots. The shrinkage In shipping to Kansas City wss 8 per cent Thirty-tw- o steers averaged 838 pounds and sold at 5.40 per 100 pounds, seventy-fou- r heller averaged 758 pounds and sold for $5.35, and eighteen helfere averaged 741 pound and sold for $5.15. Six head of heifers went as springers. which company The packing slaughtered the calvee mad the fok lowing report: 33 steer calves Live weight, 131 pounds; dressed weight, 480 pounds; tallow, 53 pounds; dressed weight, 67.2 per cent; tallow, fl.l per cent 74 heifer 'calves Live weight, 75$ pound; dressed weight, 43$ pounds; tallow, 49 pounds; dressed, weight, per cent; tallow, 8 .3 per eent 18 heifer calves Live weight, 741 pounds; dressed weight. 420 pounds; tallow, 49 pounds; dressed weight, 66.6 per cent; tallow, 6.8 per eent The calves were fed twice dally, beginning at 7 a. m. and at 4:83 p. m. In the int that I -- FOLLY OF GIVING ADVICE, HARD ON BOTH SIDES. There was apparently shrewd philosophy in Humboldts famous saying. Industry is impossible where the !anana grows. Abraham Lincoln had something of this in his mind when speaking to the envoy from Chili, who continually reminded him that Chilians were tar and away the leading people in Spanish America.' Do they grow the apple down there T asked Lincoln. "Yes, replied the other, Then I can believe you, said the president The governor of Sierra Leone the West African "Banana-lanreports home that in his recent comprehensive tour of the colony he found the people so comfortably provided for by the natural produce of the place that all they had to do was BILLIARDS, THEY SAY. to loll in their hammocks all day and fiance and sing all night Little wonWhywlclana 8orry That the Game le der, as a Freetown paper remarks, Declining in Favor In Franca. folk regard the that thes Borne body has discovered that peonew railways in the colony "with a ple in France are not playing billiards Rnsklnlan eye! Over -- e much as they did formerly. bas arisen s this announcement A Matter of Soul. lamentation. A local hospital nurse wbo was in Physicians have joined in it as well the Philippines when Mac Arthur wss M lay admirers of the game. They the big man in Manila tells a story of declare that Us disappearance would that officers experience with native be a misfortune from a sanitary point musicians. When he entered the city of view. he was saluted with a version of The game, they say, gives just the There'll be a hot time ia the old town exercise they .need to a great number and this popular bit of ragof people who without it would take time composition was played, by the no exercise at all. While involving Filipino bands whenever he or any of ao severe physical exertion, it keeps bis staff made an appearance in public. the muscles in shape, stimulates the Finally, MacArthur inquired why that circulation, helps the digestion and tune was invariably played, and was r requires just enough mental effort to told by tbe that the regl give the nervous system a rest from mental bands of the American troops the ordinary worries of life. In proof played It when tbe city was entered, of all of which they dte the good and that the natives supposed it was spirits usually exhibited about a bil- the national air. ' liard table. Well, was MacArthurs comment, For elderly people, for the stout It Is not the national air; bnt It is who cannot take much exercise, bil- the American splriL Keep on play-to- g liards is pronounced an excellent It when were not around 4f tonic. Bo the friends of ths game are yon wish; but my best advice Is that preaching e revival of Its popularity. you fall in line and inarch to "Yankee Doodle! How Could She Tsllf ' A rather good story is told at the His Difficulty. expense of Jack" Daly by Special The witty Samuel Wilberforce, bishOfficer Garr of the Eleventh and Race with op of Oxford, had no itrwta.Pl!c Station, Duly, before admirers who persisted patience in regarding becoming a member of the "force," him, with others of his doth, ao exwas one of the best known light traordinarily Important. weights wbo ever stepped in the A lady who met him one day at dinsquared circle, and his trim athletlo ner evidently felt obliged to keep the figure shows to advantage in his po- conversation at a high leveL She licemans uniform. A few days ago, began with much solemnity: according toGarr, Daly, attired ia "My lord, you must htve bad fall uniform, was standing on Ninth great many serious questions to deal street when an elderly lady stepped with to tbe course of your life. What up. and, after looking 'him carefully Is tbe most tremendous difficulty you ?Are you a have bad to encounter. over, naively Inquired! recovered his Jack When policeman The bishop's napkin was slipping breath he solemnly said: "Honest I sway from him. am, lady. If you dont believe me Ill "Keeping a dinner napkin on this Philadelphia show yon my badge. silk apron of mine said be, as he Teteererh. clutched at it -- IV4 ! d easy-goin- g y AUYUiViM- - Ivj i wbn lis mother U not looking, he makes ttraight for the banisters, and down them be slides pell mell. Is great kaste, for If he does not make the mo of bis opportunity he may lose it. And the anxious woman is frighU'Md. She was so much frightened tha other day that she spoke to the tm (3 boy. John Smith, she said the small bojri name la not John Smith, but that will do as well as another Joht Saith, if you dont stop sliding down these banisters you will hurt yourself, as sure as Gospel. It f?as only a few mornings after when, the anxious woman heard a thumping bounding sound In the front ha rumpity, dump, dump, dump, as jf a heavy body were rolling downs! aim. The expected bad happened asd as, with her face very white, shfl opened the door, there was John Smith picking himself np stiffly. He was sot crying, for he Is old foe Under Any Circumstances It Is a Most Thankless Occupation. Giving advice is rather a foolish practice, for the reason that people do about what they please, and they seldom wish or heed advice that does not urge them to do Just what they wish and Intend to do. The man that volunteers to give advice runs a risk of being told to mind his own business or, at least, of having his advice received coldly and disregarded without apology. Giving advice, even when requested, is generally a thankless service which a wise man it backward to doing. As a rule, people who Invite advice really desire encouragement Unless one tells them what they wish to bear one is very likely to find him-ee- lf in a wrangle and to have bis advice scouted and contemned. And wben one does tell, them what they wish to hear and they act accordingly, the if it turns out in, although ge-- 8 If he Is caught disobeying orders, lie neither credit nor gratitude if It drew fiswn the corners of his mouth turns out weU. The giver of advice i a little, however, as, regaining his of what always blamed on account equilibrium, he remarked seriously: "J might have been. Well 1 guess I have hurt the GosEach of us baa a good deal to do if pel thli time. be attends to bis own affairs, makes own np his own mind and watches his MIGHT HAVE BEEN WORSE. do to we have less and tbe business, and of men, other with the business View Taken by Detect tne less advice w give, the more com- Philosophical ed we shall Card esteemed and 8harper. fortable, happy N. C, Goodwin telle a story of a be. poker game to a far western town where gambling ia permitted by law HAD HURT THE GOSPEL. and regulated by tbe gamesters, who Small Boy Explains Result Of generally have the moral support of the community when they administer . Falling Downstairs. He is a small boy, "aged 5, and lives strenuous' punishment for crooked with his parents on the second floor dealing Four men "sat in on this of the bouse. The anxious woman occasion, and two of them worked tolives on the first floor, and she is gether with so much disaster to the anxious because every time the email other two. who were playing fairly, boy can steal out of the room upstairs that the suspicions of the latter were , aroused. They soon discovered the system in operation against them. Gne, two, or the required number of fingers were laid with apparent carelessness on the table-fo- r signaling purposes. Two fingers were resting on the table when quick as a flash one of the cheated sliced them off with a knife, ending the game.. The following morning the victim of this Impromptu bit of surgery was heard Binging and whistling cheerfully in his room in the local hotel, and was asked by a surprised stranger who had heard of tbe evenings game and Its flnlBh if cheep, fulness were not somewhat out of order on the part of a man who bad just lost two fingers and been branded as a cheat "Why, Im In luck!" was ths unctuous reply. "Suppose I had been holding a full hand at that stage of the game! 4m f 8 SUMS w of eating la daylight rods up the mountain In a coach that all the work at each feeding all was lot Each given which and waa distressingly tardy, It would eat and roughage the grain was following after another that, if hours after three within clean possible, was even slower. Hs chafed up the lot each grain was In feeding. and then hit tor a time at tbs pace, and the with the roughage mixed fed upon a plan he thought would serve was fed whole. Fin barrel roughage teams. He leaned both to speed In boxes under the over to the driver and offered a dol- salt wa kept calve had free acthe where lar IT the latter would get ahead of sheds, Each lot of calvee time. all at cess smilThe front driver tht team to a common board with was sheltered ingly agreed, and then' raised his on the north, open to the'' closed bed, to voice say: , "Hey! I say. Bill! Bill, turn yer south. Water was supplied to tanks regrig to ths side of ths road will yer! ulated by float valves so that the her a me hell says give Theres guy were tanka kept full and the calves a dollar if I pass ye; and Ill divide could drink at rUL , Frpr December If yon make-room- ! 2 to April 1 a tank heiwr was kept going In each tank and the, water ( Growth of Firemen Union, wae kept at a temperature of about five the months past 2,000 During on firemen the Atlantic coast fifty degree. marine .Thle showed an average consumphave Joined tbe Marine Firemen's tion of 15.8 pounds of coal dally pet Union. Unit. With coal at $4 per ton, this would make tbe dally cost of warmS ing a tank a email fraction over cento peray. A heater will warm water for forty head apparently as -cheaply a for five or tea head. We, found the previous winter 'that it re-When the British no more labor to keep a tank and Boers were qulred beater running than It did to keep fighting across the the Ice out of a tank not heated. We rolling veldt of would urge every feeder to use a tank, South Africa that beater. A successful feeder of long country needed experience recently made the statemen, fighting men. ment that gains Jn feeding follow Now that peace very closely the amount of water has been publicly drank by the fattening animal; the ' south proclaimed the quantity of water drank larger Africa needs the greater the gains, provided there women. For women is no unnatural stimulation to drinkare scarce to the ing. -- With - clean, palatable water, , Transvaal.' - They free from Ice, where the. animal kept are- - sotnsnlfcstTy can drink at will, the animal drink In demand hour that often, and each twenty-fou- r find consumes a large quantity, but at no employers great difficulty In time Is the stomach overloaded or unthem-selvesupplying duly chilled. The cost of using a, with fem- tank beater Is trifling and the return inine help. They are good. have tried the ex , The remarkable feature of this perlment of Im- periment wae the small amount of porting young gr.in required to make 100 pounds of women, but the ex-- 1 gain. The skim milk calves fed alperiment has not falfa hay and corn averaged 10 proved entirely pounds of gain for only 439 pounds of feedbe- corn, and this In seven month satisfactory cause there Is a ing. The other lots fed alfalfa and general tendency corn required 470 pounds of corn tor to the Boer coun- 100 pounds of gain. try towards tnatri mony. There are When te Do Nothing. In south carefully Reed ha Africa thousands avoided expressing any opinion as to of available young the big coal strike, but ins Other men who are ready nay beard It remarked that certain and anxious to sac- public men had been making some big rifice - themselves mistakes since the situation over the for their country. coal strike had become so scute, Mr. Tee, I suppose that Is sa. Employers who Reed eaid: have secured lady It Is hard for a man to know Just what clerks, typists, to do In crises of this sort. That reshop girls, and gen- minds me of the method followed by eral servants from an old politician n Maine. I once said What Would you do if r England and other to him: have were In a ticklish position and dir1 countries become weary of know what you ought to do? I wsuld man replied, and seeing them leave do ncV xH?. the old their services for Ubiux his was the right brand of philosophy- matrimony. .... s to-da- y , J s j I t |