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Show JUST FOR FUN H All Because He Couldn't Spell. . H "Gentlemen," eald the lawyer for tho M dofense, in closing his eloquent and M Impassioned speech, "all I demand for H my client at your handa 1b Justice H Justice with a Jarco. G!" M Tho principal. of. tho diatrlcL school M .was on tho Jury, and the verdict was , ?rUiunTWlth a larS G-Ch An Office Holder. Patrick Ford, the Irish home ruler. ..ml a recent Danwct In New York These Ulster peojile with their talk or a revolution auuit rue, Thy am Kelfey CS3 I1-m lawless 'as Annie " "Annie Kelley was parlor maid to a lady who lived In ilerlon square. An- nie surprised her inSstreBs one uioru ing with the gift of a fine pheasant. The mistress, to find out If Annie hud come by the bird honesty, said. " 'Ami whore did you get this pheasant, pheas-ant, eh?" "'Sure, ma'am,' said Annie, 'me father's fa-ther's poacher lo Lord Clnre.' " Washington Star. Won the Bet. II was at a country tavern where a newly arrived commercial traveler Avas holding forth. "I'll bet any one $5," ho said, "that I've got the hardest name of any one in this room." An old farmer in the background shifted his feot to a warmor part of the fender. "Ye will, will ye?' he drawled. "Well I'll take ye on. Til bet $10 against your 3 that my name'll beat yourn." "Done!" cried the commercial. "I've got the haidest name In tho country. It is Stone." The old man took a pull at bis beer. "Mine," be said, "Is Harder." Ideas. Reason Enough. A negro near Xenia, O., bad been arrested for chicken stealing. He had btolen so many that bis cilme had become grand larceny. He was tried, convicted and "brought in for sentence. "Have you any reason to offer why the Judgment of the Court should not bo passed upon you?' be was asked. "Well, Jedge," be replied. "J cain't go to jail now, nohov. I'm buildin' a shack out yonder an' I jus' cain't go till I git It done. You-all kill sholy seo dat" Philadelphia Saturday Evening Post. Explicit. Hero is a placard which a Cleveland, merchant has put w In a conspicuous" place, 'for the dlscouiagemont of loafers loaf-ers and credit seekers: "Our lonflng room is in tho collar take the chute,, "Our ciedlt department is on the roof take tho elevator. "Wo do business In tills room have a seat." Cleveland Plain Dealer. A Partnership. "My father and I know everything in the world," said a -small boj- to his companion. "All right." said the latter. "Whore's Asia?' It was a stiff question, but the little lit-tle fellow answered coolly. "That is one of tho questions my fnther knows." Tit-Bits. Easy. "It Is hard," says Colonel . Henry Watterson, "to lose the savings of a lifetime." "We know people who have dono It without half trying. Chicago Record-Herald. Record-Herald. A Big Contract. George W. Perkins was giving advice ad-vice to young men. "Never undertake' he said, "to do too much. Iu applying for a position it is almost better to promise too little lit-tle than too much. Remember, tho model. "An old chap, you know, applied lo a New York artist for tho post of model '"Well said tho artlBt," what do you sit for?' " 'Ob, auything, sir replied the model, mod-el, fingering bis benrd nervously. 'Anything you like, sir. Landscape, If necessary!'" St. Louis Globe-Demo-crut. On the Menu. One of these regular Jokers sat down at a table In a Superior avenue rcs- tauraut Saturday evening Ho had guests, so he felt It devolved upon him to be funny Ho read over the bill of fare, mil then he summoned the waiter. "Wnlter," he said, with a grand flourish, "bring us four orders of orthographical errors." ''Beg par Jon, sir," returned the waiter. "Wo bao none o' that" "Then why have' ou so many on the menu1" said the joker. 'Send the pioprictor at once" Clevoland Plain Dealer. oo |