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Show XMlJ.Phillipr W Sam wNt Mm AT THE BICYCLE RATIONING BOARD Q. Why do you want a bicycle? A. It's the only card missing from my collection. Q. Do you want a high-wheel or a low-wheel machine? A. Low. Any idea you have that I am going into a revival of vaudeville vaude-ville is false. Q. Have you ever operated a bicycle before? A. No, but I come from an old family of bicycle people. Q. What do you mean by that? A. My dad could ride backwards. back-wards. And I had an uncle who could stand on his head in the saddle. Q. Are there any bicycles in your family now? A. Those things I trip over in the dark every night can't be road rollers. Q. Give the board three reasons why you should be allowed to ride a bike? A. I can't get any gas. The other two don't matter. Q. Do you live near a bus line? A. Yes. Q. Why not use the bus? A. When I coast down hill I want to do it on my own responsibility. Q. Are you uware that there is a shortage of bicycles? A. Up until the last year I thought they could only be, found in antique shops. Q. What do you want to do on a bicycle that can't be done some other way? A. Go through a red light and park where I want to. Q. Do you regard your having a bicycle as essential to winning the war? A. Of course. It will keep up national morale. . Q. How so? A. The people need entertain, ment and when they see me on a bicycle they will get it. Q. How far do you live from work? ' A. Twenty miles. Q. Our records show that it is only two miles. A. You forget that it's all uphill. Q. Have you thought of pooling bicycles? A. What do you mean? Q. You take a neighbor to work one day and he takes you the next. A. Who do you think I am, Joe Jackson Jr.? THE SILVER LINING This year, ah me. Good luck is mine. I'll never see A detour sign. Merrill Chilcote. The best laugh line of the month in this department's opinion opin-ion is to be found in "The Cram-bury Cram-bury Tiger," a baseball story by Bugs Baer in Collier's. In a fantastic tale about a busher, there is an episode where a shotgun shot-gun marriage takes place at the plate during a critical inning. The game is then resumed and the batter strikes out. "He is now in a fine spot," says Baer. "He is struck out and married on a wide outshoot." The police of a Pennsylvania city have stopped bingo games to save gas, oil and rubber. As if anything in this country could justifiably be given a priority over bingo. One of the prisoners held for aiding aid-ing those Nazi spies was a former steward on the Nourmahal, presidential presi-dential yacht. And we always thought those millionaire boats were well screened. Playing cards now have the airplanes air-planes of all nations on them. Maybe the reason some bridge addicts lost all the time was due to kick of air protection. pro-tection. Taxi Driver (to a driver of a private pri-vate auto) Come out from behind all them stamps and say that to my face! 1 1 The fellow who strikes oil on his property is nothing today compared to the man who strikes it at a filling station. Many breweries are now putting out beer only in quart bottles. And Elmer Twitchell complains that when he now goes to the icebox for a bottle of beer he brings along a helper. WHAT HURTS I don't mind walking here and there In order to save gas. But how I hate to climb a tree To let the speeders pass! Robert W. Rogers. Capt Oscar Walker, who impersonated imper-sonated Paul Revere, then mounted a house and rode off. N. Y. Times. It's a good trick if he did it. R. Roelofs Jr. insists that he went into a big hotel the other day, asked for a room and got the curt demand, "Where's your army uniform?" |