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Show Hh.Phiipj' t WNU Sni. HITLER AND NAPOLEON ("Hitler Visits Tomb of Napoleon." headline) Napoleon Stop staring at me! Hitler I'm not staring at you; I'm looking at what I thought was a reflection. Napoleon Go away. I'm tired of tourists. Hitler I'm no "VJSJf tourist. V-tv Napoleon Who fjXXJ Hitler I'm the sU new landlord. zL Py Napoleon You J? are joking. CjL r Hitler That's fpfrVf 1 what a lot of peo-L.... peo-L.... .. pie thought Lis ten, Nappie, it's time you and I met. We have everything ev-erything in common. We are two of a type. Napoleon Do you realize you are talking to the most famous conqueror conquer-or in history? Hitler That's the very question I was going to ask you. You were good for your time, but you're outclassed. out-classed. Napoleon By whom, may I ask? Hitler Even if you didn't ask, I'd still tell you. By mel Napoleon Who are you? Hitler I am Adolf Hitler. Napoleon Hitler? ' Hitler? I once knew a sausage maker named Hitler Hit-ler .. . Hitler I am the conqueror of most of Europe. In two years I have taken nine nations. Napoleon (bored) I wish I knew what you smoked. Hitler In two months I took Denmark, Den-mark, Norway, Belgium, Holland and France. Napoleon Nobody ever takes France. It's purely an illusion. Hitler Believe it or not, I have captured France. Napoleon (derisively) You and who else? Hitler Paris is "VW''''MOS! mine. This tomb ft-tJ ' is mine. I even rfflisi own you. Think of KsS' ) it, Napoleon the j 7 ""!"1 Great now under 4 the ownership of A , 'Adolf Hitler! Napoleon (wine- . Eifci ' ing) As if I JaiSSSL hadn't suffered V enough during those years at St. Helena! Bah, the world must be softening up. You don't look like a conqueror. Hitler You don't look any too hot yourself. Napoleon Go on with your story. You say you have conquered nine nations? Hitler I have the world at my feet. Napoleon ' That's what I was crazy enough to think once! Remember Re-member it's only a short trip from your feet to your throat. Hitler And do you -know what I am going to do next? I am going to capture England! Napoleon Take a tip from me and forget it I once had that idea. Hitler I shall capture the British Brit-ish isles and destroy the British empire. em-pire. Napoleon Would you mind repeating re-peating that? Hitler I shall capture the British isles and destroy the British empire. em-pire. I shall be boss of Europe and of the world, the greatest conqueror of all time! Napoleon (beckoning) Come on in! I'll move over! RACE CHART STUFF Bold Turk . Not out since November Key Ring Should find opening Sailor's Yarn Unreliable Skagerrak Tough spot Stalagmite Dropping down Ceiling Zero . Seldom comes through It seems that the 24 garment workers who have been playing in "Pins and Needles," a revue staged by the garment workers' union, have retired from the garment industry and joined the Actors Equity as professional pro-fessional entertainers. Now if some actors would only shift to the garment gar-ment business all would be well. A correspondent telling of the flight and return to Paris of refugees tells of one man who clung to a heavy Paris telephone book coming and going. When asked why he replied, re-plied, "I don't know, I just grabbed it up. I guess I might as well throw it away now." Maybe the French phone books carry those instructions "How to Get a Policeman." . Sonja Henie has been married and the Office Cynic says it is going to be a great letdown to her when her husband finds the refrigerator out of order and yells "Say, do you know anything about ice?" CAN YOU REMEMBER Away back when you could boast that you were "working like a Trojan" Tro-jan" without drawing any hard looks? Uncle Sam is going in for "Panzer Division." (Samzer divisions would seem better.) He will build tanks almost as big as Nazi ones and capable ca-pable of at least 50 miles an hour. Nobody can beat him in the automotive auto-motive field, and we predict that he will not only turn out super tanks, but do it in colors. |