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Show Mate Selection Still A Haphazard Situation Although one of every four marriages is destined for divorce, many Americans still choose their marital partners almost as casually as they would a Valentine's card. It's enough to make Cupid look stupid. But three University of Utah marital experts are trying to steady Cupid's aim. In separate but related programs, they are seeking to make marriage preparation less a process of hearts and flowers as one of hearts and minds. Their method is pre-marital counseling and it's simple when you know how, and where, and when. The "how" is provided by the Marriage and Family Counseling Bureau, a service agency for the University community and a training arm of the graduate School of Social Work. However, Professor Dean II. Hepworth who conducts counseling courses for graduate students, says the bureau staff now spends less than 10 percent of its time In pre-marital counseling although previous demand used to make it nearly a half-time job. "Unfortunately there isn't enough pre-marital focus in our academic offerings today," says the bureau's senior staff member. "There seems to be more concern with problem-handling than with prevention. Yet that is a time when couples should realistically explore their relationship. They can really be helped." Romantic love continues to be the basis for marriage In our society, Hepworth says, but it is often both emotional and irrational. He Identifies "vital dimensions" in marital considerations which Include how well Individuals know each other, what thev share In common, and their emotional and affectional needs. "Differences can strengthen a marriage," he says, "but marital partners shouldn't ha ve to spend all their time resolving them." The "where" aspect Is handled by the University Counseling Center where staff member Gil L. Meier will collaborate in a week-end workshop February 28 March 1 for couples contemplating marriage or a long-term relationship. The third session to be offered since last spring, the workshop will emphasize individual awareness and communication skills. nieier says uic tensions will deal with prevention of problems rather than the cure. Couples are first seen individually, then participate in group sessions, and finally are counseled at one-hour follow-up meetings. |